"my #$@%" poem i wrote
 

ive been told
that my #@$% gets old
that i dont seem to change
or that im a bit strange
the definition of instanity
is the meaning of my life
i do the shame *@$! more then twice
you know
that things will play out
in a better way
im not so sure what to say
i got no sleep last night
insomnia well i just wasnt feel right
when did this all become a fight
happynes is hard to find
when this world dosnt worry about being kind
the women i planned to marry dumped me
told me without drugs i wasnt me
who the *&@$ is she
to tell me how it should be
to say it caused no pain
would be just like sayn gods name in vain
i sware im going insane
230 days
ive struggled in half a million ways
but i hear this sobrity pays
i fear trusting anyone
cuz they all seem to be having so much fun
people tell me im still tough
but this @#$@# getn rough
lift your head up!
stop that crying!
if i said i wasnt trying
well that would be lieing

I used to write alot of poems when I was your age...many many moons ago. It really helped me to twist words and play out my feelings on paper. Most of my problems were because I got caught up in the wrong crowd...wanted to hang out with the cool kids...but the first thing I was told in rehab was to change your playground and your playmates. Have you been doing that?
I'm sorry about your girlfriend...but from your poem it sounds like she's causing you undue heartache because you aren't using. I think you are more you without using...drugs issues a falsity on your personality.
I think at this point you know whats right and wrong...at 16 I knew everything. (That's a joke! LOL) But if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend then that's one less person you have to axe off your using list. I wish you the best of luck in continued sobriety. I think you are doing really well. Glad you are posting your thoughts.

I'm sorry things didn't work out YA but frankly - if she didn't like the real you you're better off.

I think any lasting relationship needs to be based on people accepting the other for what they are :)

I don't want to come off as Grandpappy - but you're 16 - you have many many more people to meet and to love and things to do yet.

You'll be ok :)

D

Great poem...I am just glad you don't live in Nantucket!:0

Sorry that's the only peom I can ever remember.:)