bokkie

Hi guys,

I am half way through day 2 and am really struggling. I just feel so angry, have been taking it out on my son and the poor dog. I am angry that I want a drink but know how it will end, I am angry at the state of my house and the piled up laundry but don't have the energy or will to do anything about it today.
My every thought involves alcohol today! It seems all consuming. how long will it take until this obsessive though of alcohol every waking moment will ease a little? I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall all day! I am just so close to giving in today to ease the overwhelming craving that is haunting me this afternoon. And this on day 2 with the remnants of a hangover - god help me when i actually start to feel better!!

Dee74

Hi Bokkie

You're pretty much par for the course really - the first few days were very hard for me. I plugged myself in here and trusted people when they said it got a little easier...use the support you find here

It's hard - but you can do it

Have you though about face to face support too? AA or some other recovery group like SMART?

Have you seen your Dr or thought about a counsellor?

The more support you can get the better you can get through this

And try to be gentle on the kids and the dog

D

Reset

It's tough at the beginning, no doubt. But it does get easier and you'll be feeling better soon enough. Hang in there for the sake of your son (and your dog).

You can take two approaches with the chores. Do them and use them as a distraction from the alcohol. Or decide not to do them and curl up with a movie or book. It's ok to decide not to do them because the main thing right now is to get over the hump. But don't stress about that stuff, it's less important.

Anyway, good luck. I'm pulling for you!

ste

Hey fellow expat,
First few days are tough, everybody is different, but after three days for me it got pretty easy. After one week already getting thoughts of "why did I quit? I can moderate". Big mistake! Be careful!

Laundry can wait if you have some clean shorts left. Take care of yourself, pamper a little, a long hot bath helps me a lot.

What country are you in? I'm the only American in a city of about 30-40 thousand. At first I had almost celebrity status, now (after over three years) they just think I'm crazy.

CarolD

Drink a lot of water...eat small bland meals...go for a walk.
You will feel better in another 36 hours
as long as you don't drink alcohol again.

You are de toxing from a toxic liquid ...it's usually uncomfortable

bokkie

Thanks for that guys,

Dee, as I am an expat, there is no support here for me and at the moment am jut using this site and hunkering down at home. I will try to go easier on my son and dog.

Reset - thanks, I have taken option 2 and decided it can all wait while I sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself

Ste - I know what you mean, they think I'm bonkers too now that the novelty has worn off!! I'm on a small island not far from Hong Kong.

I can't believe the support on this site, it is amazing! Without you guys I would have gone out and got a few drinks which would have let to more and....well you guys know the pattern. Anyway when I was on the brink of going I decided to come on here and the moment is passing so I can't thank you enough, I might just make it through day 2 after all!!

bokkie

Hi Carol,

Sorry we must have been posting at the same time and I missed yours. I haven't been able to eat yet at all, the thought makes me feel truly ill. I am trying to drink (water !) but am even struggling with that today, just feeling really sick. Haven't even managed to take the dog for a walk yet.....

visch1

It was suggested to me stop think about drinking, THINK ABOUT NOT drinking. Drinking lots of water esp at times I would start to drink. A week or two of high sugar intake might be very helpful. I put B&J on the top of my list but being compulsive was too slow coming off of it. GOOD LUCK

OklaBH

Hope you made it through. I call week 1 "hell week". It was for me anyway. You will get through and be a happier more content person. I relapsed twice and (word to the wise) DONT! The relapse is much worse than withdrawl.

bokkie

I've already let myself down, couldnt even make it through day 2 (who in the hell of it can't get through 2 days...me) need to make a serious plan. The withdrawl got the better of me. it hit me hard

OklaBH

Oh geez Im sorry that happened. I KNOW its hard. I really do. Like I said, I relapsed twice. Oh man that sucked. Make a list of things you can do besides drink. Keep it handy and pull it out when you get the urge. I would go see a Dr too. I know you are on an island but there must be a Dr somewhere. You can do this!

Dee74

I went through years of not making day 3 bokkie.
The important thing is stay committed, and to keep adding things to your programme.

I did it, so I know you can do this.

D

bokkie

I need to discuss this with my family, they are of a mind that I just need to cut back a bit, pace myself.

bokkie

they don't see me drinking beer at 8 am and not remembering picking up my son from school!

Reset

My wife thought the same thing, so when I finally decided to quit, I just quit without telling her. Without telling anyone, really.

For some people that's not healthy but it's what I had to do.

Next time you make a run at it, maybe try stocking up on tea. I drank A LOT of hot tea and for whatever reason it was really helpful.

Jabbadabutt

In the beginning I was really angry with myself for "ruining the drinking thing" and letting it get out of control and screwing it up.....and letting the cat out of the bag that I can never handle alcohol again. And I was angry the most at the fact that I would never again feel "normal" like everyone else who can drink normally. We want so bad to jsut fit in. Over time, those feelings subsided and I realized that it really was not me who caused all that but I had a disease that made me sick and it was progressive, and I was getting sicker by the day. It took some time of not drinking and learnign and healing to appreciate my current state of alcohol awareness and the fact tht alcohol was NOT making ANYTHING BETTER!! I am embracing being sober but ebery now and again I get back to being angry at myself.....it is a struggle, but through counseling and work, I hope to love myself again.

EmeraldRose

Hi Bokkie...*sigh* I know how you feel. It's a battle in your head.
I remember passing out on the couch when my son was in day care and they called to see if I was coming -I was like 3 hours late. He's almost 29 now but I remember it like yesterday.
Anger is part of the process...we are very angry that we can't drink normal. But why does our whole life revolve around it? That is NOT normal.
The day before I stopped I went to work intoxicated. New job, loved it, right across the street. It was the perfect job. I don't remember much about going...I think I kinda black out while I was there but managed to come home (was terminated) and spent the next two days dazed and confused...but knowing BOOZE was not for me after 30 years of this head bashing battle. Enough is enough.
Luckily, I have a patient dog and when I sleep he sleeps but try not to take the anger out on the kids and animals. They don't know how you feel and just like dumb actions while we drink its one more thing we have to feel bad about.
I drank lots of herbal tea and played on the computer. Found this site, called for counseling and rehab. Once you have a set plan it does take some of the relief off of being alone, scared and not knowing what to do. It gives you hope and something to look forward to.
Try again. There are no mistakes...only lessons learned. Try again.

billsaintjames

The best advice I can give you that hasn't been said is...download the AA Big Book and listen to it! I am living abroad in as well, in an area where basically no one speaks English. That doesn't mean we are cut off from English-speaking resources! Get hooked on this forum, research recovery on the net, read testimonials, and download the BB!

Grandnana

Hi Bokkie, I am in the same boat as you. I am praying for both of us.

Zencat

Medical detoxification may be necessary. A MD can prescribe medication that will lessen the symptoms of alcohol withdraw. Having a recovery plan will help too.

Having constant desires to drink early in recovery are very difficult to endure. However going through this difficulty is needed to get through withdraws. Otherwise withdraw will just persist as long the drinking continues.