WhiteKnuckles

So my story is about the same as many others on here. Drinking too much, way too long. Know I have a problem, know what I need to fix it, just trying to get over the hump. A few years ago, it was an aggravating problem, an inconvenience, but I told myself it wasn't really affecting my health or relationships. Fast forward three years or so and I feel terrible much of the time, and I seem to have lost my patience and goodwill towards other people. Even family and friends. The person who has taken over my head even when I am not drinking terrifies me. I spend way too much time indulging the "friends" who share my same set of values...drinking to get drunk, and being miserable the rest of the time, and not enough time nurturing the relationships that are positive in my life. Who lives like this? I see all kinds of people around me having hobbies, and clean houses, and clear eyes, and I think, for the love of God, what is wrong with me? Why am I CHOOSING to live this way? I hate it, hate it hate it hate it, I hate myself, I hate the things I do when drunk. I do love that there are solutions, and coping mechanisms out there, for those who seek them out.

Anyway I am sure most of you have felt the same way or at least similar. Hope you guys are doing okay and that everyone has a good, sober night tonight. Or at the very least just a sober one. Best wishes.

WK

Dee74

I very much identify with this, WK. I'm so glad that guys gone
Good to have you with us

D

artsoul

Welcome to the forum, WK - I can relate to your post, too. I'd often swear not to drink after a morning of feeling ill, yet be back to it by evening. I finally had to admit I just couldn't stay sober - not on my own, anyway.

I'm glad you're here - getting support made a huge difference for me.

recoverywfaith

Anna

Welcome!

This disease also turned me into someone I loathed.

Thank heavens that is behind me now.

You can do this and we are here to offer lots of support.

WhiteKnuckles

Thank you guys very much for the warm welcomes. I know I am not going to drink tonight, and the best times I have these days are the mornings I wake up after a completely sober evening. So, something to look forward to. Thank you guys again. I'll be around.

WK

KellyToronto

I can totally relate to your story, as can others on SR, WK.

Someone told me that "alcohol giveth, and then it taketh away"...that makes a lot of sense.

Kelly