Facebook - Detrimental to Recovery?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 216
Facebook - Detrimental to Recovery?
After another morning of being encouraged on SR, I logged on to Facebook and became quicky depressed. I obsessively searched for information on an old love. I read once again about my friend’s so-called perfect lives. But, the worst part of Facebook when you are in recovery are the photos of people drinking and having fun and looking good while they are doing it. I’m afraid to even post a current photo of myself because of the damage that alcohol has done to my looks. I know it’s irrational but I don’t need these reminders of my old life. I deleted my account. When I get emotionally stable, I know I will be able to handle it, but not right now. I’m a mature woman and embarrassed that I feel this way. Can anyone else relate?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I don't 'do' facebook so don't really know much, but to my knowledge it's a social networking site and not for recovery so there wouldn't be much help in it as far as I'm concerned.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Why about 20% of the people on my 'friends' list are in recovery.
I made a conscious decision a while back to try to have as many people in recovery on that list as was humanly possible, even have a few from SR.
Haven't equated alcohol with fun in quite some time now.
I made a conscious decision a while back to try to have as many people in recovery on that list as was humanly possible, even have a few from SR.
Haven't equated alcohol with fun in quite some time now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Add me as a friiend! I'm in the same boat. Its like one big high school reunion on there. Everyone brags and puts their best face forward. The drinking and 3am drunk posts really annoy me. I have taken a break from it. If the action doesn't benefit my recovery I stay away from it.
On my way....
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 326
MIB, I literally just got off facebook and looking at pictures of people drinking and looking happy!......But then I ran across one that had a (drunk) girl going down a slip n' slide, and from the tagline on the picture apparently a few minutes later she asked how she got so wet. I remembered how I would do things and forget about them a little bit later - so that actually made me feel better - no more blackouts!!!
I also have one friend on facebook who will talk about partying all evening long on her updates.....but then in the morning when she has to go to work her tune is WAY different, cussing the world and her hangover. Or she will post about how the night didn't go as planned (does it ever when you're drinking?) someone got into a fight, someone was barred from the club, so and so cheated on their spouse/significant other. So in those respects it actually helps me!
Oh yeah, and I have this other friend who you can tell when he's been drinking because he posts really random/or angry messages late at night....then in the morning they're gone!! Posting regret I'm assuming, I can totally identify with that one!
I have a lot of family on FB and most of them don't drink, go to church, etc., so it's a pretty good mix up. I'm finding that the drinkers on my list tend to have a lot of regret (maybe a few good times) when they drink, for the most part it just reinforces why I quit.
I also have one friend on facebook who will talk about partying all evening long on her updates.....but then in the morning when she has to go to work her tune is WAY different, cussing the world and her hangover. Or she will post about how the night didn't go as planned (does it ever when you're drinking?) someone got into a fight, someone was barred from the club, so and so cheated on their spouse/significant other. So in those respects it actually helps me!
Oh yeah, and I have this other friend who you can tell when he's been drinking because he posts really random/or angry messages late at night....then in the morning they're gone!! Posting regret I'm assuming, I can totally identify with that one!
I have a lot of family on FB and most of them don't drink, go to church, etc., so it's a pretty good mix up. I'm finding that the drinkers on my list tend to have a lot of regret (maybe a few good times) when they drink, for the most part it just reinforces why I quit.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 5
Oh I am so pleased that you posted this message MIBluebird.......I really thought that it was just me who has these feelings about FB!
I tend to go on FB when I'm drunk and chat. I really do dread to think what I chat about! Then I feel bad when I sober up and think about what I've done. Then when sober I look at photos of all the "happy" people while at the same time feeling really down and all I want to do is buy a bottle of wine.
I have ruined so many friendships because of my drinking and now on FB I am making myself look even more foolish......I think I'll delete my FB account.
I tend to go on FB when I'm drunk and chat. I really do dread to think what I chat about! Then I feel bad when I sober up and think about what I've done. Then when sober I look at photos of all the "happy" people while at the same time feeling really down and all I want to do is buy a bottle of wine.
I have ruined so many friendships because of my drinking and now on FB I am making myself look even more foolish......I think I'll delete my FB account.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: MI
Posts: 216
Originally Posted by loveon2legs 
Although my life isn't picture perfect, I have found some peace..by looking at pics and seeing others on FB I don't envy them I pray for them...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 1,061
Facebook for me is a part of life, a way I connect with friends and family. I know I need to work on myself and not drink but I don't feel isolating myself is the way to do that, but that's just my opinion.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Bluebird-
I totall understand and can relate. Sure, I can give you some recovery taglines and since I'm an AA'er, I've got great "one-liners", but the truth is...
It's very easy to feel resentful, jealous, and all those bad emotions after looking at facebook.
My advice would be to work on your recovery and work on you and all this other "stuff" will take care of itself.
...and have a little gratitude. I can only imagine what nonsense I would have posted on facebook when I was drinking. Be grateful that's now you on there making an arse out of yourself
Kjell~
I totall understand and can relate. Sure, I can give you some recovery taglines and since I'm an AA'er, I've got great "one-liners", but the truth is...
It's very easy to feel resentful, jealous, and all those bad emotions after looking at facebook.
My advice would be to work on your recovery and work on you and all this other "stuff" will take care of itself.
...and have a little gratitude. I can only imagine what nonsense I would have posted on facebook when I was drinking. Be grateful that's now you on there making an arse out of yourself
Kjell~
Abnormally normal
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
I'm 6 months sober and still very early in my sobriety, but I don't let what other people do on FB w/ their lives dictate how I'm gonna feel.
If I did, I'd never leave my house or attend parties or family functions.
That's just me though..
I actually enjoy staying connected to everybody. It makes sobriety that much bearable.
And when I do come across the drinking or the partying, I either ignore it and don't comment on it or do w/ a silly remark. Nothing serious or life changing.
Take FB for what it is...just a fun site to keep in contact w/ friends.
I too have a couple of friends that are in recovery, but I've been friends w/ them long before I got sober.
The good thing about FB is that its YOUR page and you can decide who you want to stay in contact w/. YOU decide who you want to be friends with.
You can keep it as simple as you want.
If I did, I'd never leave my house or attend parties or family functions.
That's just me though..
I actually enjoy staying connected to everybody. It makes sobriety that much bearable.
And when I do come across the drinking or the partying, I either ignore it and don't comment on it or do w/ a silly remark. Nothing serious or life changing.
Take FB for what it is...just a fun site to keep in contact w/ friends.
I too have a couple of friends that are in recovery, but I've been friends w/ them long before I got sober.
The good thing about FB is that its YOUR page and you can decide who you want to stay in contact w/. YOU decide who you want to be friends with.
You can keep it as simple as you want.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 15
Hi 'm new here!
I am particularly depressed at the moment.....aren't a lot of us on this site!! Looking at all the "happy" photos on FB seems to make me feel even more depressed....like there is something wrong with me!
I am particularly depressed at the moment.....aren't a lot of us on this site!! Looking at all the "happy" photos on FB seems to make me feel even more depressed....like there is something wrong with me!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 273
Originally Posted by sailorjohn
Why about 20% of the people on my 'friends' list are in recovery.
I made a conscious decision a while back to try to have as many people in recovery on that list as was humanly possible, even have a few from SR.
Haven't equated alcohol with fun in quite some time now.
I made a conscious decision a while back to try to have as many people in recovery on that list as was humanly possible, even have a few from SR.
Haven't equated alcohol with fun in quite some time now.
I never used FB just to pick up online friends...there are a few, but not many at all. I don't do the "friend marathon"...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 273
ALSO, if there are particular people who post away about partying...you can hide their feeds without deleting the friendship. I have done this a few times with good friends who post stuff that causes certain emotions that trigger me to drink....
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I think just like in 'real life', it just depends on who you choose to keep in your life. I don't communicate with toxic people in person, or on Facebook, or otherwise.. it's healthier for me that way.
...is learning and growing...
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 573
Great post, MIBluebird!
I'm just gonna say it...I hate Facebook and wish it would go away. It reminds me of all those feelings of insecurity and not belonging and how everyone else seems to have perfect lives. I KNOW that people put their best face forward and all that, but it still bothers me. Also, it didn't help that when I had a FB account (now deleted), I had like 9 friends and within days that hubby got one, he had 95...ugghh. It actually became a big sore point in our marriage for a while there and I know it's because it brought out a lot of jealousy/resentment in me. And it also didn't help that I knew some people with hundreds of friends on FB, but in real life everyday interactions they were rude and pretty anti-social. Yes, I have issues with FB. One day I'll come to terms with this and slowly in sobriety I'm finding a better sense of self. But for now, I can TOTALLY relate, MI.
Oh and BTW, there was a great article about FB and depression in teens yesterday...I read through it and I don't think it just applies to teens but to adults as well IMHO. Here's the link...Doctors Warn About ‘Facebook Depression’ In Teens « CBS Boston
I'm just gonna say it...I hate Facebook and wish it would go away. It reminds me of all those feelings of insecurity and not belonging and how everyone else seems to have perfect lives. I KNOW that people put their best face forward and all that, but it still bothers me. Also, it didn't help that when I had a FB account (now deleted), I had like 9 friends and within days that hubby got one, he had 95...ugghh. It actually became a big sore point in our marriage for a while there and I know it's because it brought out a lot of jealousy/resentment in me. And it also didn't help that I knew some people with hundreds of friends on FB, but in real life everyday interactions they were rude and pretty anti-social. Yes, I have issues with FB. One day I'll come to terms with this and slowly in sobriety I'm finding a better sense of self. But for now, I can TOTALLY relate, MI.
Oh and BTW, there was a great article about FB and depression in teens yesterday...I read through it and I don't think it just applies to teens but to adults as well IMHO. Here's the link...Doctors Warn About ‘Facebook Depression’ In Teens « CBS Boston
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