Ugh hit me today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 111
Ugh hit me today
I am at two weeks sober today. I feel really good, had been feeling REALLY good for about a week, but then things just turned. Yesterday in my IOP we were drug screened - which was very disconcerting to me the first time it happened, as no one told me it would happen and I felt like I was in jail or something. And then my urine was too diluted to get a result, which is very frustrating because I am trying to be healthy and drink a lot of water, and I don't want to dehydrate myself after wokring out just do I can pee more yellow-ly. And it's very embarrassing.
So then today I just woke up crazy stressed out, everything feel like it's piling up. My sister is having a baby, we're talking about planning the shower, I'm buying a house, which is going smoothly but I have to think about moving and spending money and procuring homeowner's insurance... now I've "woken up" and realize my house is dirty and I've gained a lot of weight and I'm eating a lot of junk food and people are telling me not to and NOW I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE COLOR OF MY PEE.
Okay, it's a little childish. But stress is what's pushed me to drinking before, so I'm trying to be observant and solve one problem at a time.
Just needed to vent. Thank you.
So then today I just woke up crazy stressed out, everything feel like it's piling up. My sister is having a baby, we're talking about planning the shower, I'm buying a house, which is going smoothly but I have to think about moving and spending money and procuring homeowner's insurance... now I've "woken up" and realize my house is dirty and I've gained a lot of weight and I'm eating a lot of junk food and people are telling me not to and NOW I HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE COLOR OF MY PEE.
Okay, it's a little childish. But stress is what's pushed me to drinking before, so I'm trying to be observant and solve one problem at a time.
Just needed to vent. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 67
Vent away!!! Yep... life can be a bit much sometimes. You've got a lot of balls in the air, that's for sure. But you've got the right attitude: Tackle one issue at a time. Give yourself some space to breathe. It doesn't all have to be solved today.
Perhaps, too, if you don't already you might recalibrate how you think of some of the things that are stressing you: You're planning a party for your sister? A lot of work, yes, but it's going to be a fun time for all and what an occasion to celebrate. You're having to get insurance? Good for you, you're buying a house!!
Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, the last thing I want is a lot of "happy/sappy talk'' coaching but I found that reminding myself of my blessings also helped balance out the ughs.
I think it's great that you're working to get your life in order. Congrats on your sober time...it will keep getting better!
ddog
Perhaps, too, if you don't already you might recalibrate how you think of some of the things that are stressing you: You're planning a party for your sister? A lot of work, yes, but it's going to be a fun time for all and what an occasion to celebrate. You're having to get insurance? Good for you, you're buying a house!!
Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, the last thing I want is a lot of "happy/sappy talk'' coaching but I found that reminding myself of my blessings also helped balance out the ughs.
I think it's great that you're working to get your life in order. Congrats on your sober time...it will keep getting better!
ddog
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Hi Theatredork,
I kinda giggled, because it is funny when people's personality comes out even as they are upset, they throw in a little humour.
That is great about the new house, so you don't have to worry about cleaning the old one! Next problem, you are eating junk. Right on! That helps you stay off the booze and you will even out and guaranteed you will loose loads of weight when your body evens out.
As regards the pee, well you didn't fail! And like the cop car behind you in traffic, now you get nervous. But, you are thinking of the old you! There is no need to be nervous, you are not doing anything wrong!
Re babyshower, I would let that to someone else. I know you might think that is wrong but you need to simplify, simplify, simplify!
There are people who enjoy doing that kind of stuff, let them at it. Your sis wants a sober you and if that means not being stressed by organizing the baby shindig, she will be fine. Of course if she is pregnant, she might be as crazy as you! LOL.
There is also this thing called a "pink cloud" and that is where we are really happy just for being sober. It wears off and we are left wondering what happened?
Go easy on yourself. One thing at a time. I am famous for the "all or nothing business". I lump everything in a big heap and go, "OH SH!t!" and run away, getting nothing done.
Like a scene in a play, (clever reference to theatre) break it down into smaller scenes.
God, I am brilliant.
:ghug3
I kinda giggled, because it is funny when people's personality comes out even as they are upset, they throw in a little humour.
That is great about the new house, so you don't have to worry about cleaning the old one! Next problem, you are eating junk. Right on! That helps you stay off the booze and you will even out and guaranteed you will loose loads of weight when your body evens out.
As regards the pee, well you didn't fail! And like the cop car behind you in traffic, now you get nervous. But, you are thinking of the old you! There is no need to be nervous, you are not doing anything wrong!
Re babyshower, I would let that to someone else. I know you might think that is wrong but you need to simplify, simplify, simplify!
There are people who enjoy doing that kind of stuff, let them at it. Your sis wants a sober you and if that means not being stressed by organizing the baby shindig, she will be fine. Of course if she is pregnant, she might be as crazy as you! LOL.
There is also this thing called a "pink cloud" and that is where we are really happy just for being sober. It wears off and we are left wondering what happened?
Go easy on yourself. One thing at a time. I am famous for the "all or nothing business". I lump everything in a big heap and go, "OH SH!t!" and run away, getting nothing done.
Like a scene in a play, (clever reference to theatre) break it down into smaller scenes.
God, I am brilliant.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
if you want your pee to be more colorful....try to take your vitamins throughout the day..what your body does not absorb will show in the pee.
i have my homeowners policy bundled with my car insurance for one stop shopping, very easy..
cleaning and junk food...that one i could use help with myself.
i have my homeowners policy bundled with my car insurance for one stop shopping, very easy..
cleaning and junk food...that one i could use help with myself.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Theatredork-
(said with kindness b/c I know how you feel)
Welcome to this thing called life
Keep posting.
Kjell~
PS - don't worry about the drug screens. That's just your alcoholic ego talking.
(said with kindness b/c I know how you feel)
Welcome to this thing called life
Keep posting.
Kjell~
PS - don't worry about the drug screens. That's just your alcoholic ego talking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 111
Yes, I posted with a little humor because I know it's all just life. And I also realize my problems are faaaar smaller than some other people. And some of these things are not even problems... it just felt odd because I had been feeling really good... then the counselor and I talked a little about the urine concentration thing... and I wanted to cry for the rest of the session (stupid tears coming and going, couldn't talk about it because we were having a presentation from a guest).
And so it goes... emotions exist, they don't always show themselves conveniently, and I need to learn how to deal with them without turning to alcohol. So maybe it's convenient that I had this odd little breakdown while I am in my treatment program, so I can seek out tools. I'll talk about it in my group today.
Thanks.
And so it goes... emotions exist, they don't always show themselves conveniently, and I need to learn how to deal with them without turning to alcohol. So maybe it's convenient that I had this odd little breakdown while I am in my treatment program, so I can seek out tools. I'll talk about it in my group today.
Thanks.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by theatredork 
And I also realize my problems are faaaar smaller than some other people. And some of these things are not even problems... .
It's good to be grateful and we all have problems.
I promise I wasn't trying to minimalize yours.
Since I quit drinking, my life hasn't been easy (I've had and have a long period of reconstruction), but my biggest problem is living with, well..., me.
Sounds like we all have that in common.
Kjell~
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 507
I agree! Definitely don't worry about those drug screens. Having just "graduated" from an IOP program, I know exactly how you feel. And it IS the alcoholic/addict in us that makes us worry. Who else would care whether their pee was just right for a screen? I remember being asked for a sample on a Monday (they usually did it Thursdays) and I got so worried I was being watched more closely for some reason. I overreacted all evening in my mind and then found out they'd simply decided to test half of us on Monday and the other half Thursday. Totally understandable, totally innocent and not worth an ounce of the anxiety I mustered.
I've been extremely anxious for weeks and weeks. It's interfered with my job and it interferes with my relationships. I realize I was probably masking it for years with alcohol. So now I've got an appointment with a therapist I hope to see regularly and an appointment with a psychiatrist. Now that alcohol isn't a factor, I can sit down with professionals and attack the real issues in my life.
I've been extremely anxious for weeks and weeks. It's interfered with my job and it interferes with my relationships. I realize I was probably masking it for years with alcohol. So now I've got an appointment with a therapist I hope to see regularly and an appointment with a psychiatrist. Now that alcohol isn't a factor, I can sit down with professionals and attack the real issues in my life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Yes, it is life and it's not always easy, and sometimes it can be very stressful.
Try to just focus on accomplishing a couple of things each day, and things will get done. Making lists can help and prioritizing tasks helps too.
Try to just focus on accomplishing a couple of things each day, and things will get done. Making lists can help and prioritizing tasks helps too.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I'm with Anna - I used to look at everything I had to do as one huge mountain and panic...
now I try to break things down, make reasonable realistic goals for myself, do what I can at a steady pace, get help if I need it...and let go of the stuff I have no control over or no business worrying about
D
now I try to break things down, make reasonable realistic goals for myself, do what I can at a steady pace, get help if I need it...and let go of the stuff I have no control over or no business worrying about
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome...and may I say that if its only a baby shower and a move you have on your plate -you're not doing bad. It could be (alot) worse!!
First off, ask some family to help with the shower...I'm sure you aren't planning on planning the whole thing alone! Make a list of who does what and stick to your list.
When I move, I like to go through each room and just throw stuff away. You may have a better outlook on discarding items sober than you would drunk. Take it one room at a time and immediately throw out what you've bagged by each room -so no temptation of rummaging through the bags and save. That will elliminate hoarding. LOL
As far as the 'pee' goes...not sure what the problem is. Healthy urine is not yellow but more of a yellowish clear. Sounds like the water is working for ya.
One step at a time, one day at a time...keep it simple.
First off, ask some family to help with the shower...I'm sure you aren't planning on planning the whole thing alone! Make a list of who does what and stick to your list.
When I move, I like to go through each room and just throw stuff away. You may have a better outlook on discarding items sober than you would drunk. Take it one room at a time and immediately throw out what you've bagged by each room -so no temptation of rummaging through the bags and save. That will elliminate hoarding. LOL
As far as the 'pee' goes...not sure what the problem is. Healthy urine is not yellow but more of a yellowish clear. Sounds like the water is working for ya.
One step at a time, one day at a time...keep it simple.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I still have difficulty realizing I can only do so much - I'm not a superhero..... I'm throwing a shower (bridal) myself this weekend, and I've redone all my flower beds and pressure washed my house and painted some of it.... and I still am going to clean the inside of the house, shop, cook, etc. etc....... And that's just one of 100 things I'm juggling as a single working mom. So yeah, I hear you!
I will say that at two weeks, I was lucky to do a little work during the day and if I got the dishes done, I was really happy. Things were pretty overwhelming then. So...... I just wanted to say that it's OK to let things go for now, to not worry about your diet, and keep things simple. If you've been sober today, it's been a good day!
I will say that at two weeks, I was lucky to do a little work during the day and if I got the dishes done, I was really happy. Things were pretty overwhelming then. So...... I just wanted to say that it's OK to let things go for now, to not worry about your diet, and keep things simple. If you've been sober today, it's been a good day!
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