LovesToTravel

I try to steer away from the posts that I can tell are about a relapse. Sometimes I just gotta read em....just like the road kill...don't wanna look .... but I do. I do wonder if reading here is helping me or hurting me. Keep it One Day At A Time.

Kjell

Hi John-

I totally understand and it's not completly ludicrous.

I'm an AA'er and I still have ideas of drinking. I also believe I always will (again, from time-to-time).

When this happens, and it does, then you better believe I tell someone (like you are) and then I get moving on some step work OR get to helping someone else pronto.

Listen...I get tired of SR sometimes too. I even get tired of AA as well, but this is coming from the brain of someone who got tired of life (or was so scared) and darn near drank and drove myself to death. It's alcoholic/human nature to grow complacent with ourselves.

Sounds like it's time for you to step your recovery up a notch.

Kjell~

Kjell

That's great and I couldn't agree more.

...but for me, that wasn't my normal nature (sshhh....I used to be very, very selfish) and I didn't come to this way of life until after I recovered from my alcoholism.

Kjell~

least

The stories of relapse aren't the least bit yummy to me, they scare me and make me happy that I no longer want to drink.

theatredork

It does get me sometimes. I'm early in recovery too. But I tend to come here when I'm already thinking about drinking, anyway, and so it does end up helping. Tonight I'm going to a concert - I'm not going to drink, and you have to buy a membership to get beer anyway, but still... I was thinking about alcohol, so that was why I came here.

Hooped

I don't need SR to convince me to drink ... I can do that all by myself.

SR is like a lifeline for me and I am so grateful its available.

ACT10Npack

No, SR doesn't do that do that for me. On the other day, AA does.

vida

This bugger is always waiting at no point does a person have cured. I find lots of newcomers who share more about time out have not been around enough in recovery to obtain any experience yet in living a life of recovery. The only experience they know is drinking. It can seem appealing to not feel, be selfish and its just plain easier to drink than work on self. But each time this cycle happens there is NO GUARANTEE OF RETURNING TO THE RECOVERY. I see new members think they have a choice to quit when they sick again. A sort of revolving door recovery. No growth happens and the time out lengthens. Thoughts arent fact my friend. Keep close to your meetings and your sponsor...............

yeahgr8

I was just thinking how nice it was for SR to get the "blame" it's usually AA or the tardiness of the number 10 bus...i sat with a guy for a coffee once when i first got into recovery who said that i needed to be careful about going to so many AA meetings as it had made him drink again...i will never forget that as one of the all time funnies i have ever heard:-)

WatchTheSky

I get a similar feeling, but for me, it's because I go to SR when I really want to drink. So the thoughts are already there. Reading about other people's relapses doesn't really trigger me. It makes me sad for them, but it doesn't usually make me want to drink. Thinking about drinking often does make me want to drink.

bellakeller

sorry. deleting a non-constructive post.

Dee74

Well SR's never made me want to drink - but it has helped me not drink on a number of occasions, and I'm still grateful for that.

D

julez

Honestly, SR HAS made me want to drink a couple times, and thats why I decided to take a break. I still attend AA, and I can still see the benefits that SR offers, but I just needed to get out of the computer, and back into my own reality. I don't BLAME SR at all, or anyone who posts here. It was just something that, at the time, I needed to chill on.

ReadyAndAble

Sometimes, yeah, I'll see someone posting about a one-night relapse and I'll think, gee, it might be nice to take a tiny break from all this recovery work....

So then I look around for a post where someone's "tiny break" turned into a bender that stretches across months or years, and the inclination leaves me.

Pretty good mental training for the real world, actually.

stacylove

Yes sometimes when ppl were using it made me jealous, however, when I relapsed I was then jealous of the ppl who were clean. I'm still a wreck though, so my opinion is whack!

FallenAngelPDX

This is how I feel... I see all the posts on here (and granted I'm new so I guess take what I say with a grain of salt) and I get jealous when I think about other people using... it's kinda messed up I guess. But I think it comes from the fact that I haven't recovered yet, I'm still working on it. If I had no reason to work on getting better I would be out getting high all the time.

I do remember, however, that it's always the day after that makes me feel worthless and alone, so I try to remind myself why I am working on recovery. I agree with people on here who say maybe you should take a break, or at least a break from reading about other people's relapse. It's okay to be a little selfish and only post about you if that's what you need to do in your current moment of recovery.

LexieCat

I've never seen a relapse that looked good to me.

When I read about people struggling to stay sober, it puts me back in mind of what it felt like to absolutely KNOW, every day, I was going to drink whether I wanted to or not. Not a happy place to be. By the time I quit, the only thing alcohol was good for was immediate relief from the pain of not having it in me.

michelle01

I was once on a site where a portion of members were experimenting with moderation, there was a lot of discussion about it (I find it hard to think of one of these experiments that was successful, invariably they seemed to cause misery, and most eventually chose abstinence)... and I couldn't read too much of it in my early days, as it would put ideas in my head. There were also certain songs and music I avoided, that I associated with drinking. I can understand how it can all be taken that way, however I find that nostalgic stories about drinking and posts that question the value of sobriety don't really affect me anymore.

I've seen some people interpret it all as 'Everyone relapses, I can expect to at some point myself then.' I'm of the view however that relapse isn't a part of recovery, though if you do relapse, you learn what you can from it and try to move on.

I had my own share of relapses but I don't think they made things any easier for me, through hard experience I came to appreciate that it just isn't worth it.

Kjell

...and it's also important for us to remember where we came from.

Lest we forget...

billsaintjames

JohnBC, I sort of know what you are talking about.

When I was contemplating quitting drug use, I used to visit a certain website that compiled disastrous "trip reports" of drug use. I told myself that I was reading these stories for "support" and to scare me off. But really, I was reading them to convince myself I could handle these drugs. I wanted to convince myself that I hadn't *completely* ruined my health or my life, and so it was fine for me to use drugs.

I simply cannot visit that website. It gives me a rush just reading the stories, no matter how disastrous they are. That probably says more about the depth of my drug addiction than anything else, and I suspect that a forum such as this could have the same affect on someone addicted to alcohol.

I am absolutely not accusing you of doing the same thing on SR. That's just an experience I'd like to share in case anyone can relate to it.