becoming

Even sober Sunday’s are a struggle for me. I have anxiety/depression along with my drinking problem. All three got really out of control when I began my MBA in addition to working full time in 2008. I am still doing both and I do the bulk of my school work on the weekends. While easier to tackle school work without a hangover, some days I just feel paralyzed by the academic pressure. It’s funny because I worked two jobs, 7 days a week, for nearly two years without it fazing me, but throw in tests, papers and looming assignment deadlines in addition to work and it pushed me over the edge. When I leave it all to Sunday the anxiety is exceptionally bad. I used to never be a procrastinator but as my anxiety began to morph into depression I began avoiding things that caused me stress. I am currently medicated and see a therapist regularly, but some days are still really hard, especially being in early recovery. Just needed to vent, thanks for listening.

Dee74

hi becoming...I answered your other post.

I used to be a last minute man too...I actually think I got a buzz by doing things that way...but the anxiety got worse and worse, and my alcoholic coping methods were pretty poor.

I eventually learned to pace myself - doing a little every day, or whenever I could, really helped me.

I also learned it's ok to ask for help from my supervisor/teacher if I was a little overwhelmed with the workload.

best of luck with your continued study,
D

spryte

Hi,

When I went to grad school I almost drove myself crazy with the stress. That's when my addiction really began to take hold.

Looking back when I was in grad school, I was working all the time. I was such a hard worker. I read before my classes even. I did all my reading.

I think the pressure came from expectation. I expected big outcomes. It wasn't enough to study and know the stuff: I needed good marks, awards, recognition.

Looking back, I shouldve relaxed on all that. I was smart enough to get there in the first place, I was working hard, the rest was bound to fall into place. It would be GOOD ENOUGH.

I should've spent more time socializing SOBER, volunteering, and enjoying the new city that I was living in. I should've allowed more things into my life besides school.

Your situation is different in that you're procrastinating, if I understand you correctly? I'm a big procrastinator, and I don't always follow this, but I think it's good to set milestone deadlines for big projects.

When it comes to daily habits, I think it's good to commit to sitting down and doing something for just a half hour every day. No days off. It's just a half hour. I am always amazed at how a task that looks comlpetely gross looks better after I've just tinkered around with it for 5 or 10 minutes. And then I'm off to the races. And I spend more than a half hour at it.

But I get myself to the table by making a small time committment.

I also find walks in the fresh air good for pretty much everything: stress, depression, anxiety.

You're doing great with so much on your plate; you have my admiration! And like Dee said, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.

becoming

Thanks guys I really appreciate the replies! Today was just a tough day all around. Early sobriety is no fun and I am still getting used to not being able to have "reward drinks" when I am down with all my school work.

Dee - I am like you in that I sometimes get a buzz from doing things last minute. I should definitely work on pacing myself better. The problem with me is once I am done with work for the day and home at like 7/7:30 I am mentally drained. Early mornings are not an option either bc I get up at 5 everyday get my workout/yoga in, which I think is really important especially at this stage of the game. Oh well, I least I only have one more year of school left, yay!

Spryte thank you very much for expressing your admiration, that really means a lot to me! I am trying really hard to balance my responsibilities, conquer my addiction, and just be a better person all around. Excellent advice on tackling thinks little my little, and getting out in the fresh air for walks! My thanks again to both of you. Have a night/day!

artsoul

I'm amazed at your schedule..... it sounds a bit overwhelming as it is, and then to add early sobriety........that's pretty incredible.

I felt pretty tired and unmotivated in the first month or two especially. I found that I had to cut down on some things to keep my sanity. I don't know if you can do that with work and/or school, but I would sure try......

The end of the school year was always to hardest for me...... it's like that last hour of a long journey - it seems to last forever....... I hope you can find a way to refresh/renew yourself (you already know alcohol won't do it!):ghug3

coffeenut

You're right, early sobriety is tough. Coming here and venting was just the thing to do. Welcome to SR!

becoming

artsoul - thank you so much for your reply and your kind words!! It really means a lot to me. I am absolutely finding that I have been feeling very overwhelmed and unmotivated with regards to my schoolwork. Not a good combo at all. I just feel like I need to spend time on myself right now and my recovery. I am very thankful that I only have one year left. You are right that I need to find new ways to relax and renew. I have been going to the gym a lot, doing yoga, reading and spending a lot of time with my loved ones. Just wish I had more time for those things.

coffeenut - thanks very much for the reply and you are right, venting here helps so much = )

My best to you both!