EmeraldRose

I think I considered myself a 'functioning A' because everything in my daily life was a habit and I had it mastered. My husband once said to me "I never knew anyone that could drink so much and function so well'. At that time I was honored I was thrilled I was elated that my plan was working. But after we split and I started drinking again, my life changed, my habits changed, I got lazy and stupid hence, losing my job. Now I know it was all a lie...everything...I couldn't function...I was dying inside.

I wasn't a big social drinker and don't hang out in bars. I didn't have a job (or any job right now) that demands social engagements so staying away from outside influences is easy. It's the war that I may someday have in my own head. But if friends were to say..."You're not drinking??" I'd nonchalantely say no. No need for explanations or excuses. If they persist...then maybe I'd want to evaluate our friendship.

joedris

If someone questions the fact that you don't drink, explain that you're on medication that adversely reacts to alcohol and leave it at that.

As to the "high functioning alcoholic", I was one. It's an accurate description and has nothing to do with denial. Nor is anything to be proud of, or for that matter ashamed of. It was what it was.

I was very successful in life, full scholarship to college, good career with all the right advancements to better paying jobs, married with three children, all of that stuff. I never lost material assets from my drinking, never lost a job, never had a DUI. This is not bragging, it's a statement of my life.

Along with the fact that I was a high functioning alcoholic, I was also a high bottom drunk. My bottom, when I reached that bottom it wasn't because of any great emotional trauma or loss. My health was fine, my job secure.

And at that time I was drinking 2 liters of Vodka every day, 7 days a week. I needed a drink before I could brush my teeth in the morning. But I still went off to work and performed very well.

But at some point I had a spiritual awakening and it occurred to me that enough was enough. I checked into detox and from there into a 4 week rehab program. I attend AA meetings 5 nights a week and have been sober for a number of years. There was nothing earth-shattering that led me to this decision.

The important point that needs to be made here is that when I walked through the doors of AA, my past was irrelevant. We all get there by different roads, and the roads aren't important. What's important is that I was an alcoholic just like everyone else in there. The high functioning/low functioning/high bottom/low bottom categories are worthless now. We all suffer from the same illness and work to help one another stay sober.

Don't let anyone force you into or out of a recovery program. If you think you have a drinking problem and choose to stop drinking, by all means do so. As I said earlier, the medication story usually shuts people up. You don't owe anyone an explanation for your decisions.

WatchTheSky

This is a really insightful thread! I was a high-functioning alcoholic and was so ridiculously proud of how well I functioned. Looking back, I didn't fool people as well as I thought I did. And I spiraled so quickly that it was only a matter of time before I lost a lot. Personally, I don't believe that high-functioning is just a stage. Some people still seem to qualify as "high-functioning" for their entire lives, miserable though they are.

NobleCause

Work is a tricky one - I am in an industry permeated with a bit of a work hard/play hard mentality, and the office events and social obligations that come with it are nearly always booze centered and extravagant. I've found that having a couple of close colleagues in the know (simply in the know of the fact of my not drinking, not necessarily in the know about why) has been a tremendously helpful buffer. Helps to keep me accountable and maintain my resolve when I'm in that mix, and they also actually tend to shelter me from any other awkwardness or questions from the masses.

I was at various points a high functioning alcoholic, a low functioning alcoholic, and a non functioning alcoholic. I've had such polar highs and lows in the past few years that it dizzies me to try and categorize what I was when.

becoming

NobleCause - I really like your idea of having a couple of close colleagues in the know. I have been considering letting one colleague in particular know. Not sure to exactly what extent just yet. I am very close to her and we both have shared personal information with each other in the past. Like you said, I think having her know would help shield from the awkwardness and/or questions from others. Great suggestion and many thanks!

Joedris - I really appreciate you sharing a bit of your story. I particularly relate to you saying that nothing earth-shattering led you to quit, but it was rather more of a spiritual awakening. This is what I feel like happened to me. I had my share of very bad drinking incidents, but when I finally decided I was done, there was no specific "bottom" that prompted it, it was just more of an internal shift in my perspective. I also really like your suggestion on explain that I am on medication that adversely reacts to alcohol. I am still contemplating using this reason. Thank you for your post!

1 day @ a time - I am definitely like you in the fact that my mind has the tendency to over complicate things lol. Thank you for your insight & advice!