New here- hoping for support
 

Last week I was assaulted by my fiance after we returned from the bar for St. Patrick's day. He's had alcohol issues in the past, attended court-mandated AA meetings, and came out of it saying "I'm not an alcoholic because of XYZ".

Fast forward a year after his last AA meeting- he became violently angry at me, threw empty beer bottles at me, hit, kicked, punched, and injured me. He has been in jail for the last week on domestic violence charges.

Despite all that's happened, I do still love this man, but I refuse to put myself in a position where he could hurt me again, and I refuse to be in a relationship with him until he admits to himself that he has an addiction to alcohol.

He is being bailed out from jail today by his friends, and I plan on speaking with him afterwards to see if he is still blaming me/stress/work/life on his abuse, or if he has hit rock bottom and is ready to change.

This week has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I go from being angry at him, to being scared for him, to being ready to move on.

I really don't know where I'm going with this post, but some support would be nice right now. I have information on a few residential treatment programs in our community, but I don't want to come off as pushy.

I hope to get to "know" everyone.

-B

Hi Broken Fiancee

Welcome to SR.

I'm really sorry about your situation but I'm glad you're taking steps to get yourself out of it and keep yourself safe.

Personally I would think again about meeting him - to be blunt, do you really expect that you'll hear anything different than you did last time?

We have Family and Friend Forums you might like to look at too - you'll find a lot of help & support, both here and there :)

Here's a few links - you may already have this information, but it's good information to have.

United States DV Resources by State

D

I have been where you are...twice with physical and once with mental abuse.

I know you don't want to hear it and I know how tough it will be but you HAVE to break free of this man. No happiness lies with him.

Just because you love him doesn't mean you have to be with him. I still have feelings for the last man who abused me BUT my life was hell with him.

PM me if you need to chat.

Welcome to SR BF.

This is the only place that I found like minded people to support me quitting alcohol.

I had felt before, and once decided to quit. But each time I didn't want to quit. I wanted to still drink moderately at social events, etc. I always slipped and fell and did something I would regret. This time I want to quit.

The choice to quit is something that will have to come from your fiancee. When I first joined here I still was unsure if I could moderate my drinking. After reading everyone's stories, I realized that I couldn't. If he is open to it, reading some of our posts may help.

Good luck to you both.