ulfr

This morning am not feeling so good.
I want drink because am feeling a little panicked about a family gathering at my mums on Sunday.
My step sister her husband and step brother are coming from england to my mother and step dad for a visit witch is fine but my step sister will have her baby with her am not sure how old the baby is.
She want pictures of us with the baby , witch means i have to hold the baby.
Am scared i might drop the baby . and my voices some times tell me to hit people and am scared they will tell me to hit the baby . i dont want to do that but i find it really hard to control my thoughts and voices
My husband will be with me the whole time am there but am still scared about it
am on medication for the voices witch are helping but they voices are still there.
My mum and dad dont know about me having the voices as if i was to say anything my mum would say am just attention seeking ( my mum thinks anything mental health is attention seeking )
It will be the first time i have met my step brother and i dont want to make a bad impression .

ronf

Willow, My heart goes out too you. YOU must come first in this situation. Plan it with your hubby, Go over every scenario and how you plan to act or react. Hold his hand the whole time your there. I don't like encouraging anybody to lie, but maybe a fake flu bug will keep the baby handling to a minimum. Let hubby hold the baby for the pics ? Make up a signal, a word that tells hubby you need to get out of there NOW. This is just how I would handle it. I hope others will chime in with there advice.

Family, the original "f" word

Ron

Coolmummy

I totally agree with ronf. Plan it all out as best you can. Argh! people who don;t understand mental illness make me really frustrated. I've suffered from severe depression for a lot of my life and my mother is very much of the 'well you have to pull yourself together' brigade! It's so difficult. If things get scary for you, try to remove yourself from the situation. Go upstairs, or just into another room. Thinking of you.

Reset

Willow if you don't want to hold the baby, DON'T! You might think there's pressure there but trust me, nobody is going to be upset if you say something like, "oh I'm a little nervous about it and wouldn't want to drop her, but she's very beautiful." A lot of moms are already on edge when other people hold their babies so don't stress out about that.

Good luck. I'm sure you'll be fine.

smacked

If you think there is any danger of you hitting the baby.. don't hold the baby.

I hope things go well for you.

Anna

Oh Willow, don't put pressure on yourself. And, I'm sorry your Mom doesn't get that mental illness is not attention-seeking.

A lot of people are nervous holding babies, so just say how pretty the baby is and don't stress about it.

Dee74

I have cerebral palsy so I'm nervous holding babies.
In fact other people seem nervous too....so, unless I can sit, I usually give it a miss

You're an adult - you don't have to do anything you don't want to do Willow

I'm sorry your family don't understand - but I'm glad your husband will be there by your side.

D

MsCooterBrown

I think this would be one of those situations where you can show up fashionably late and leave early. Babies make alot of people nervous. It will not be out of line if you just say you are too nervous about holding babies. Stay close to hubby and have your escape planned out..code word is a great idea.