March7

@ daytrader- thanks- "defiance" is a pretty accurate description of my current attitude- BUT I am going to just do what AA and my temporary sponsor tell me to- every last stupid thing- until I start to understand. Because right now I really don't get the point of a lot of the things I'm being told to do. Like calling myself an alcoholic (DUH, I'm at an AA meeting) or holding hands and praying, or a million other irritating things. Whatever- I'm going to do them ALL. Wholeheartedly, 100% effort, working on the assumption that AAers must know something I don't. I will continue to question everything though. So try not to get too irritated with me you guys!

Floridachick

I had trouble with that bit at first as well. Then I met this guy in rehab.

Frequent Flyer, it was his third pass at rehab. He came there due to an intervention by friends and family that was conducted at his bedside in the MICU. He was hospitalized due to a pulmonary embolism from slammin heroin.

Anyway he refused to identify as an addict. The staff didn't pressure him to do so - but we of course asked out of curiosity during down time. He informed us that he wasn't an "addict," he was just "physically addicted." It was too negative to say about himself, he was into positive self affirmation. It was just a manner of brainwashing, he informed us. If you tell yourself you are an addict over and over, you become one. Talking about addiction all the time just made you want to use.

He washed out after about 5 days. He used in residential rehab, and they had a zero tolerance.

I pray for him regularly, but have no idea where he is or how he is doing.

I have not had a problem self identifying as an alcoholic since then. I didn't want what he had.

aasharon90

Some may say hello my name is ____ and Im
a drunk. Some may also say just their name
with Im new to recovery.

LexieCat

The biggest problem for me is when I have to introduce myself during a work presentation or something. I keep having visions of standing up and saying, "I'm LexiCat and I'm an alcoholic, er, strike that..."

CarolD

The most disheartening intro I've heard.....

"My name is ---- and I am still the sicko freak"

He said that for the 6 years we shared a home grooup
and because he refused to change...I could not disagree.

Darn shame....

recoverywfaith

In the book Came to Believe in the first chapter: The Opening to the Spiritual World the following was written and has always stayed with me:

I now realize that when I first said at an A.A. meeting, "My name is Tom and I am an alcoholic," I was expressing the first truth I had known about myself. Think of the spirituality in such statements. My name tells me that I am a human being; the fact that I can know it, think about it, and communicate it reinforces my humanity and makes me aware and excited that I am!

Congratulations on 2 meetings.

The book can be bought from Intergroup Association, Inc. and is AA literature

ACT10Npack

Just say your name. You don't have to your an Alcoholic. I'm guessing the whole point of going to AA is not use alcohol. If saying it will get you to use alcohol then don't say it.

joedris

I'm reminded of a comment about AA in a book I read. "If you come to an uncharted minefield and see footprints, you had better follow them--very closely."

Don't get so wrapped up about saying you're an alcoholic or holding hands while praying or any of the other trivial issues that seem to irk you. You're tilting at windmills here. None of this stuff is really important.

What is important is that you focus on what's being said in the meetings. You'll find that there's usually a pretty good reason for the suggestions others will give you. They've all been there, done that, and have the T-shirt to prove it. It'll start to make sense if you give it a chance.

reggiewayne

Welcome March 7. I've heard some people say "My name is _____ and I have a desire to stop drinking". Problem solved...

1_day@_a_time

I will continue to question everything though...

Many alcoholics are intelligent people, so we tend to question everything....searching for answers.

If you carefully & slowly read & re-read Step 12 in the 12 X 12, you will find numerous principles like: willingness, admiting complete defeat, acceptance, hitting bottom, etc.

At the bottom of pg 22, it tells me what condition I need to be in in order to recover.

Suggest: questioning everything will only prolong getting better.

The literature suggests I take direction and be coachable.......so I do/am.

DayTrader

Nah..... I kinda recommend having questions...... so long as you're questioning it WHILE yer doing it.
In time, we begin to see the results from all those seemingly "silly" things........that's why we keep doing them.
1Day (above) is right though.....sometimes our perceived "need to know" will severely hinder us from recovering. Good think I don't have to know everything about internal medicine to go through an operation at the hospital (just an example.....). If I waited until I learned everything about the physical body, I'd probably die from the condition that required the surgery in the first place....yanno?


Most of us got pretty messed up while we were living in active alcoholism. Then, with practice, and over time, that messed up life started to feel "normal." We may not have liked all of it but we got accustomed to dealing with it.

Sobriety......getting sober (physically, mentally, and spiritually) doesn't always "feel" good (remember, we got to the point where being an active alkie felt OK) but I promise ya..... it's worth the work, the uncomfortableness and the pain. It's reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally worth it.



.......so ask away!!!

BTW..... if they're AA related questions and you want responses from ppl IN AA, it's probably best to ask them in the "12 Step Support" forum. If you have a ? about a specific step, then u can go to that step and ask. I, for one, don't post all that much outside the 12-Step Support forum other than maybe in the Alcoholism forum. AA's just a little different......and somtimes when I (we) mention something we do......or ask someone new what/why/how they're doing something, ppl not in AA mistake our words as degrading or judgmental. Of course, if you ever want to ask me anything directly, shoot me a private message.



DT

Stang

I would think it's part of "rigorous honesty" that you are suppose to embrace. Alcoholics lie to themselves and others a lot.

Toronto68

March, I haven't gone through the whole thread, but do you hold back on saying it because the word has a lot of disgust attached to it? I would guess so. People don't usually like to identify with things that have negatives attached to them, except for those times when they want to wallow and call themselves losers or garbage, etc.

What's your picture of alcoholic? Is it somebody on a bench who hasn't washed in a month? Is it someone behind bars? Someone with a tank top on who just punched his grilfriend and sits down to take another drink? Or someone who was left beaten in a parking lot after starting a barroom fight? A mother staggering around the house and walking on the baby's arm? Lots of things to think of that you don't want to be.

What if you thought about "alcoholic" as something you are experiencing because you can't drink properly, even though you may not be any of those examples? Or am I not getting at the problem you have in calling yourself one? Does saying you are an alcoholic mean you are ONLY an alcoholic, and ONLY a negative thing? When we look at the bad guy in the news, we don't necessarily allow the picture of that person to be anything other than what we see immediately. We strip them of being a complete person that can be anything good. Is that what you do to yourself if you call yourself an alcoholic?

If a person can learn to say he is an alcoholic, maybe it's because he was finally able to understand certain things need to change; that perfection won't be possible, but certain things have just got to go. I'm not necessarily any of the examples I provided above, but any one of them could have the same relationship with alcohol I had. None of us are ONLY owners of drinking issues and none of us are ONLY evil things.

I don't know if that does you any good, but I was looking for a way for you to work through the barrier in saying it. I suppose you can get the success you want without saying you are an alcoholic, but being able to say it is well known as a good step whether you're in the AA rooms or not.

Pete55

Hi my name is.... and I'm a Gratefull Alcoholic ?

Nikkipoo

March7, I am struggling with the same thing. My plan is to go to my first AA tonight at 7. But I don't want to go. My sober date is Feb 18. So you're way ahead of me in the courage department. I, too, think that AA knows something I don't and at the very least I need to give it a chance. thanks for sharing your feelings with us here at SR

yeahgr8

It has been explained why we say it in meetings on the thread...or at least where to look to find why we say it...

Just a foot note i don't agree that alcoholics are intelligent people at all, i think they are clever people...i was very clever when i came into AA...now i am becoming more intelligent...its quite fun to look up the meanings of the 2 words...might make more sense like it did to me when i understood the difference:-)

1_day@_a_time

I understand what DayTrader & March7 are saying, this is probably about mincing words or the interpretation.

Sure it's good to ask questions, no doubt. As opposed to "questioning everything".

Same goes for intelligent/clever. Words......

We tend to be analyzers, debaters & searching for answers.

When I stop asking so many questions, am able to listen for a change and take direction from someone who has a significant amount of experience with recovery and living a spiritual life, I grow & change.

I had a sponsee a while back & all they did was search and search for answers. Polling everyone.....took them YEARS to get sober, then relapsed again & again.

In Step 5 it tells me if I take advice & accept direction, "I set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty and geniune humility".

Those are good things for my life.

Siouxsen

Last entry I see here is March 2011. Today is May 24, 2011. I have a really bad headache and I hope that today is my final quit date. I don't know if I can do it today because I really want a drink right now. Anyhow, I decided I am going to go back VERY soon bto my daily noon home group. I went almost all of last year and left out of guilt because I kept slipping up. There was a guy in our group counting my days which put a lot of pressure on me (because I let it). I think all and all, now that I think back- I wasn't ready to quit. If I was ready it wouldn't have bothered me that he was counting my days! One of the worst times was when I was sober for almost 3 months. I drank the day before I was due to get my chip. When I didn't go up to get it the following day, the 'days counter guy' came up to me and said why didn't you get up and get your 3 month chip today? I went all the way to 'a town' to pick up a chip for you because we didn't have any 3 month chips here. When I told him it was because I drank the day before he acted very disgusted. I asked him if in the beginning of his being sober if he ever slipped up. He said NEVER. Well, I guess I am different. I screwed up, slipped up. I had to go through a lot of bottles of booze, being sick, feeling like $hit about myself, worrying about my liver, etc. etc. etc. Now I feel done with it. I am sick of being sick and tired. Finally. Still doesn't change the fact I want a drink today. Anyhow, I ended up on this thread because I was thinking how I hate saying My name is so and so and I am an alcoholic. I am a lot more than that! I just felt that it was labeling me like that is the only thing I am in life. Then I was told I can't contribute to any discussions unless I first say my name again and say I am an alcoholic again. And anytime I want to talk I have to say it. If I want to talk 10 times, I have to say it 10 times. I didn't like that. I was stubborn. I left. It was just another excuse to keep drinking.

1_day@_a_time

Yep.

BUT besides all that, do you NOW want to change?

Bottom line.

Enoy

I never really had a major problem with it as far as I can remember. But perhaps I did. when I first went to AA years ago it was "highly" suggested by the courts that I do so.


The funny part is how the procedures have become so ingrained in me.

I was at my son's Kindergarten orientation and everytime a teacher got up and introduced themselves I had to literally STOP myself from saying "Hi xxx" and "Thanks for coming/Glad you're hear... " when they were done.

The room felt so cold and distant when no one in the audience was responding at all to their introductions and closing remarks. lol



I'm just waiting for the day when I screw up and actually let it slip out o_0