Newcomer needing help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 3
Newcomer needing help.
Im new to this and hope i am doing this right. My name is Cail, im a teenager and my boyfriend is an alcoholic. Me and him have been dating for about 7 months and have been friends for years. He also is a drug addict. He went to treatment last summer and was sober for two months, then relapsed. I drank last summer when he was in treatment and when he got out, he relapsed with me and I realized that was a very dumb thing for me to do. The last time we got drunk together was in October. From then we were going to try to stay sober and start going to aa meetings together. I smoked weed in November, so I relapsed..then restarted..he relapsed in December, and we both were sober until he relapsed again in February. I have been "officially" sober since november and I find it difficult at times to stay sober and have sips of whine here and there. When I have urges I just get depressed and want to drink/get high. I don't know what to do because I cannot consider myself an alcoholic or a drug addict..my boyfriend thinks it's really easy for me and it sometimes can be, but when I have urges I have no one to go to for help and when I go to aa with my boyfriend i just feel like a loser because Im not an alcoholic and I don't feel accepted into al-anon enough because I have urges and I'm trying to keep sober. I know that I need to stay sober for my boyfriend so I need more help. I suffer from depression and tried to get help once but I didn't feel like it worked. Drinking was my way of helping my emotions and now when I get depressed I have nothing and i need help on what to do to keep myself sober and to help my boyfriend stay sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Cailz17
Welcome
If you have difficulty staying sober does it really matter what you call it?
Maybe it's better to simply accept the problem and think about what you need to do about it?
I don't think people who go to AA are losers. They're people who know they have a problem and are doing something about it - that's pretty admirable to me.
My advice with your boyfriend is focus on your own recovery - that's hard enough.
Trying to keep someone else sober too is futile anyway - your boyfriend needs to want to stop himself...you can't do that for him...he needs to step up to the plate and deal with his own recovery.
Finally if you're suffering from dpression - please get some help.
Just because you feel last time was helpful doesn't mean you can never find the help you need. Sometimes it takes finding the right the Doctor and the right medication - don't give up.
You have some big decisions to make - but you'll find a lot of advice and support here
D
Welcome
If you have difficulty staying sober does it really matter what you call it?
Maybe it's better to simply accept the problem and think about what you need to do about it?
I don't think people who go to AA are losers. They're people who know they have a problem and are doing something about it - that's pretty admirable to me.
My advice with your boyfriend is focus on your own recovery - that's hard enough.
Trying to keep someone else sober too is futile anyway - your boyfriend needs to want to stop himself...you can't do that for him...he needs to step up to the plate and deal with his own recovery.
Finally if you're suffering from dpression - please get some help.
Just because you feel last time was helpful doesn't mean you can never find the help you need. Sometimes it takes finding the right the Doctor and the right medication - don't give up.
You have some big decisions to make - but you'll find a lot of advice and support here
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Hello Cailz and welcome to SR. I think that it is wonderful that you are
evaluating and coming to terms with your drinking at such a young age.
Good for you. It sounds like your life is terribly entertwined with your
boyfriend's and that has got to be really hard to sort out.
At this point worrying about accepting or labeling yourself sounds like it
might not be the most productive. First things, first...you have to help
yourself. There is nothing you can or cannot do that will make one bit
of difference towards your boyfriends recovery. Yep, not one little thing.
If you do concentrate on just you, I believe you will discover solutions for yourself that will lead you to an incredible life.
Dee gave some good advice. Maybe start by attending AA with the understanding that all you have to have is a desire to stop drinking. Ask
someone that you trust to guide you to some counseling services. Take things one step at a time. Continue to reach out here. You will get a ton of support just for you. I hope to get to know you better as you feel comfortable letting us know more about you. Take care and thanks for posting.
evaluating and coming to terms with your drinking at such a young age.
Good for you. It sounds like your life is terribly entertwined with your
boyfriend's and that has got to be really hard to sort out.
At this point worrying about accepting or labeling yourself sounds like it
might not be the most productive. First things, first...you have to help
yourself. There is nothing you can or cannot do that will make one bit
of difference towards your boyfriends recovery. Yep, not one little thing.
If you do concentrate on just you, I believe you will discover solutions for yourself that will lead you to an incredible life.
Dee gave some good advice. Maybe start by attending AA with the understanding that all you have to have is a desire to stop drinking. Ask
someone that you trust to guide you to some counseling services. Take things one step at a time. Continue to reach out here. You will get a ton of support just for you. I hope to get to know you better as you feel comfortable letting us know more about you. Take care and thanks for posting.
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