Strange realization... I miss hangovers.
 

I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes I miss hangovers. They were a form of numbing just like drinking was. Maybe numbing is the wrong word-- they made me feel like my nervous system was actually burning, in addition to all the other bodily symptoms you all understand too well. The better word is "distraction." I was in physical pain all day every day until I could start drinking again every evening. There wasn't much room in my mind for anything other than dragging my body through the day and doing what was expected of me before I could crash. Now I feel intensely present in my mind and my body. It's like coming in from the cold and feeling your hands and feet warm up again. It stings like that.

I think I get it. Hangovers used to be a good escuse for me to do nothing. Now I don't have that excuse. :)

You sound to me like you're really having trouble coming to grips with life WTS.

That was me in one of my sobriety attempts - I didn't do anything about what I was feeling and the result was inevitable.

I only lasted 2 months so I can't even begin to imagine how tough it must be for you.

Be smarter than I was, look for some help...

whether it's a recovery group or some kind of counselling, seeing your Dr or whatever...wanting to be numb is not a healthy way to live life or a natural thing to look forward to.

D

I remember the last couple times I was hung over, it was a Saturday and got on my Harley and went for a long ride, I had no business being on a bike after 30 beers the night before.

I felt nothing, I rode all day alone and finaly rode home that night just to drink again...

That Sunday was my last hangover 30 days ago, I think i know the feeling you talk about but for me It was the sobering up more than the hangover itself.

I was in bad shape in the end and I got so drunk when I drank that hangovers didn't even hurt anymore, it was simply me sober.

You got some good sober time if your signature is accurate, IMO don't spend time thinking about or experiencing hangovers, it ain't worth it...

I missed the hangovers myself, to an extent, for a bit. Nerves on fire and physical pain didn't allow for much self-reflection.

But, I am finding it ever more difficult to remember the day-after feeling, so in time, we do forget the pain, but that carries its own risks.

People always say when you get sober you feel better. It's true. You feel pain better, anxiety better, sadness better, etc.... Once I found recovery I started to find happiness better, contentment better, and love better....

Hang in there. I'm not sure how far along you are but I can assure you I don't miss the hangovers. The shame, the guilt, the constantly looking over my shoulder waiting for the shoe to drop. No thanks. Recover will do just fine for me!

I think I know what you mean. Hangovers gave me a 'day off' from life and allowed for a lot self reflection, nurturing, and a lot of resolve to start over.

I only got hangovers in the end...I wish I had gotten them earlier because I hated them so much, they made me feel so horrible....that it helped me stop drinking.

I'm sorry...I don't get it.:(

I know what you mean. I feel " homie" when I get sick...I get to take care of myself: it's a form of nursing your wounds: the pain you feel the next day allows you to take care of yourself, after all the destructive things you did while drinking. Since you have not drank, your body is still wired to subconciously want that. Does this make sense to you? hope you know what I mean.

My last hangover was Sunday and while it wasn't my worst ever, it was pretty bad. Enough to make me do absolutely nothing all day but lay on the couch with the shades drawn, suffering. I didn't want to shower or prepare food for myself. I was sweating, shaking, had zero coordination. Depression. Headache, swollen tongue, lungs on fire. I could go on and on but you get the picture. I won't miss that.
On the other hand, it was a day OFF. I couldn't do anything productive if my life depended on it. In a twisted way it's like forced rest. What I'm getting out of this thread is that I need to start scheduling some time for myself where I allow myself to just do nothing for a few hours each week. NOT hungover. I don't want to ever say I miss hangovers. So thanks for posting this, I think I just learned something important.

For me hangovers were a punishment that I did welcome because I thought I deserved them for drinking when I knew I should not. I would actually tell myself, that it was my punishment and would wish worse then what was on myself. They were pretty bad as they were, believe me, and sometimes would last for a few horrible days. I hated them and how I thought about them shows the level of self hate I had for myself. I shudder now just thinking about this.

I always try to avoid hangover by drinking more the next day. To try to get myself to sleep again. I don't miss that at all. I do miss drinking and feeling alive but I will get over that.

In the end, I was going thru withdrawals every damn day... and I don't miss that at all. The anxiety was crippling and I never want to feel that way again.

I hope you can find some peace of mind.:hug:

Absolutely get it. When I was drunk, I didn't think rationally and when I was hungover I couldn't think rationally. Now I can't stop thinking and although I don't miss the hangovers at all, my mind is all over the place.

I kknow what you mean...i took 5 months off to get the initial work done to get sober and when i returned to the same job i was thinking wow this is like torture, whats changed so much? And it finally dawned on me that before i was hungover until about 2pm then shaky until 5pm until i started drinking again...

I guess this kind of means i am going to have to (well want to really) find something else to do, i.e. something i enjoy doing...

i would get intensive barfing with hangovers....constantly retching and unable to eat anything for hours, which played havoc with my blood sugar levels (i was pre-diabetic). so i was not only barfy, i was shaky and hungover with zero energy and i looked like death warmed over.

I do NOT miss hangovers at all. i welcome the morning and feeling GOOD with energy to do things....like drink coffee and eat a real breakfast.

Yeah I think i used to use my hangovers as an excuse as to why I did not get anything done, or an excuse to be short with people, or .....wait for it......an excuse to drink again to feel better. All around drinking was one big excuse for me, inside my head I made it okay to feel bad, to be unhealthy, in the end I blamed my drinking. It took on its own persona, my alter ego, my Tyler Durden (Fight Club reference).

Wow I don't get it either. I had horrendous hangovers that lasted at least 2 days (which is why I rarely drank 2 days in a row), my stomach felt like there were daggers inside poking out and my head ached so bad I just wanted to die; they didn't numb me at all I was intensely aware of the pain and the shame/guilt that I had done it to myself and the regrets for things I'd done while drunk. I often would try to bargain with God during those times that if He just took away the pain I'd never drink again. I now absolutely LOVE waking up early in the morning watching the sun rise listening to the birds sing, it's my favorite time of day.

I had acne as a young teen and I remember when it started to clear up. Looking in the mirror and feeling sad and confused. I wanted it back.

I still don't understand what that was about. But I will say it's 22 years later and only in the past 7 (sober) months have I started to get comfortable with happiness and ease.

:hug:

I think I sorta get this...when I was hungover, I could rationalize being rude to people and saying mean things because, hey I didn't feel good so f**k you,world. But I was also rude and mean to myself...I never called in sick (even when I felt like dying) because I saw it as punishment to me for having had the lack of self control/weakness to drink too much...yipes, what a crazy time that was and I hope it all stays in the PAST!!!

Thanks for a thoughtful post...