hate2bhere

I hate the fact I can't stop drinking anymore. I have drank heavily since I was 14...now 43. I drink at least 1 pint of vodka a day...at the very least. Polished off a fifth yesterday. The anxiety when I try to quit is overwhelming. Two years ago I quit for almost 2 years. The thought of walking into another AA meeting is mind numbing. How can I get through a couple days w/o drinking.

jamdls

Hi h2bhere, welcome to SR. This is a great place to start but medical attention may be what you need. I hope you get some help.

lushly

Becareful with detox. If you can afford it go to a inpatient treatment center or see your Dr. It can be very dangerous to do it alone. Welcome and good luck ! Remember this is only a suggestion. Sleep and drink Gingerale sherbert floats. Very comforting.

ronf

hate2bhere, Mornin bud. My heart truly goes out to you. I have been exactly where you are right now. I stumbled in and out of AA for 5 yrs, went through detox twice in that time.

1. Walk, stumble, or crawl to the nearest E.R. Suck up all the honesty and courage you can find in yourself and tell them your terrified, you need to detox. You will find yourself in a SAFE place with people who care, and will take care of you. Work, insurance, money just DON'T matter right now.

2. You will always be welcomed back to AA !! I was !! While in detox ask for someone from AA to come talk to you. They will be happy to make the call, and the person from AA will be glad to talk and welcome you back.

Thank you for posting. You helped someone stay sober today because you did.

Your friend, Ron

Anna

Hi,

Yes, do check with your dr before you stop drinking because detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous.

I found that changing my routines helped a lot in the early days. Drive home from work by a different route, plan to be doing something else in the evening when you would have been drinking, call a friend, get out for a walk, play with a pet, do whatever it takes to get through a day.

Dee74

Hi H2BH

I agree with everyone else. I think seeing your doctor would be a great first step.
Welcome to SR

D

riptide

I agree with every one you should see a DR. Ask about state run detox center it's free
I spent 4 days in detox it was the best thing i could have done.
I to started drinking at 14 and am now 43 I drank 12 to 24 beers a day and am now 29 days sobor. What ever you do please get help keep posting and good luck

hate2bhere

Thanks for the advice...I will look into the free detox...I was not aware youcan detox for just a few days...I was under the assumption it was 30 days. AA is a HUGE problem for my wife....she gets extremely resentful when I was attending meetings. We have kids and she doesn't like having them by herself so thats a big pull on our marriage...make no mistake I chose to go back out, but she sure didn't mind that I quit attending aa meetings. I did better last night...just 1/2 pint of vodka. I am going to try and wean myself off so the shakes aren't so bad.

Thanks for your response/support

lushly

Your wife is as ill as you are and she is used to your drunk behavior. Maybe after you detox watch the kids and ask her if she might like to attend an alanon meeting. Give it a shot, but remember there will always be some excuse as to why you can't attend recovery meetings. I have a bunch of them myself. I wish you and your family the best

artsoul

Welcome, h2bh- I hope you can find a place where you can detox (I would assume so, since you're in Louisville)..... if I'm not mistaken they're usually 3 or 4 days max......

I identified with your post because I went back to drinking twice after a few years of sobriety. This thing is definitely progressive..... it was harder to quit this time, I was drinking more/more often, and the misery got worse too. I think I appreciate being sober now more than I ever did.

It's too bad that your wife isn't more supportive of your meetings. Were you going every night? What about getting a baby sitter for a couple nights/week and she can go do something she likes to do too............(?)

Does she understand the seriousness of this? (it's like being a diabetic and having to take your insulin everyday - it's just that our treatment is staying in recovery and getting support).

I think you'll really like it here....... Let us know how you're doing!:ghug3

hate2bhere

Well I guess God answered a prayer..sort of. I ended up getting a bad stomach flu...I have not been able to drink or eat much at all but water and gatoraide. Lost 6 lbs, but mostly haven't drank anything for about 72 hours. How long does detox usually take ? Am I out of woods for any serious health concerns for detoxing on my own ? Last night was a bitch. Night sweats totally soaked the bed and pillow.

CarolD

that flue sounds like de tox to me....but I'm not a doctor.
Don't hesitate to call yours or get to an ER if you run
into difficulties.

What difficulties? please read this link

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

De tox can vary...usually over with by day 4 but there are
too many variables to know for certain.

Welcome to our recovery community....
all my best to you and your family

Auggie

This sounds like it would be a really good time to see your doctor. Sick and detoxing sounds like no fun at all. I don't know how long you are at serious health risk from detoxing. I know everyone is different. My symptoms starting subsiding in about 3 or 4 days. Have you started working on a plan to stay sober once you are feeling better?

LoftyIdeals

Sounds like answered prayer, indeed. I'm on day 15. Drank daily the equivalent of a half fifth of vodka, either in vodka, wine or beer, or a combo. In December I got more depressed than I have ever been, and finally went to see my doctor two months later in February to ask for antidepressants. For me, they have helped me stay away from booze. I gave up smoking cold turkey 7 weeks ago. I realized I also needed to dry out, so I gave up drinking for Lent. I don't think I'll drink when Lent is over, at this pace of recovery. But, I'll be heavy on this site that week, because it will be a slippery time. I happened upon this site last week, and it has been the greatest help to me that I can imagine.

Visit here often throughout the day. You will not be alone in your new journey. I had to fess up to my doctor about things I didn't want in my records to get here. He was more understanding than I would have guessed, and has been great. Maybe he is even honoring my request not to note my med records, who knows.

H2Bhere... I don't like meetings for a variety of reasons, including the one you shared. This is my new meeting place...at my own need and convenience, and where I can share more freely than I have ever in meetings. The support has been phenomenal. When/if you see your doctor about your flu, tell him or her what you shared here; that the flu helped you achieve a goal of reducing your drinking. You might be surprised by the conversation that ensues.

EmeraldRose

Welcome hate2bhere. I certainly did not think after I started drinking that I would 'end up' like this either. We are here for you...this is a great place to come if you have a craving or need to talk. I've heard that it takes 6 minutes for a craving to come and go...if you can keep yourself busy thru that time I think you'll make it.
I'm sorry you're wife isn't more supportive...maybe she could go to meetings with you if you coud find a babysitter. It sure would be more productive for you if you had support at home. Well, its just good you are here...one day at a time....!

reggiewayne

Welcome back. I'll I add, is if you've gone to AA you know you can't "wean off". That's like trying to put a fire out with gasoline. Like many have said, the only way to do this is to detox. Whether that's at home or the hospital is up to you, but seeing a Dr. seems like a must.

AA works, you know that. It does take action on your part. If you're waiting for a sudden feeling to come over you and change your mind about drinking, that's probably not going to happen. Our feelings follow our actions, never the other way around...

Best of luck to you!

hate2bhere

Well,

I made it another night...it was much better last night. I didn't sleep much, but I was more at ease. Thank you all for your suggestions/support. I casually mentioned AA and Alonon to my wife last night. I never shared this but my past sponsor's wife took my wife to alonon meetings last go around. She went for about 3-4 months and decided it wasn't for her. She is not open to it right now. She did ask what night I wanted to attend AA...not sure she meant it though.

Anyway...its just called progress. Its the longest time I gone totally alcohol free in 2 and 1/2 years. When I was first in AA last time, a lot of people cautioned that when you go back out, its much harder to come back than it was the first time and the drinking is also usually worse....damn they were right.

Thank goodness for my kids (4) because they can give me plenty of distractions from drinking if I just pull my head out of my a## long enough to listen and notice !!

Thanks again

SoberRightNow

As others have said, just do be careful going cold turkey. My doctor told me about another patient of his who stopped abruptly and suffered a brain haemorrage. Scarey stuff.

You are in a better place than me. I'm taking medication now to get through the mornings (shakes, convulsions, sweats) which is helping but I've decided I can't stop until I have a proper plan in place.

Went and had a good chat with our local addiction centre today. I'd really like to hear that you had sought some medical advice.

Best of luck and well done for making it this far. I did three days dry then fell off the wagon extremely heavily.

hate2bhere

Wow...7 days without a single drink. I haven't done a stretch this long since Nov '08. I am starting to feel much better and actually right now I have had no cravings. Its lent now and my friends accept that I gave up drinking for lent...actually about 1/2 of them also give it up too for lent. Thats my plan for today...thats about as far as I can plan for now. Still not sure about recommitting to AA...the stress it causes at home and all. Anyway, thanks to all that listen even if you don't respond. I can tell that there are a lot of good caring folks on here that TOTALLY understand how hard alcoholism is on ourselves and our family/friends.

Take care

Germanos

Hey, congrats! 7 days is a really big deal, stay strong my friend. I have been using reading as my outlet to escape habitual thought patterns. I have been through 3 books in the last 4 days, but it really helps... especially when you can't sleep.