JayT

Not as easy as many of the old timers say, for me anyways. i am slowly letting things go and handing them over to my higher power. In seeking my higher power I reflected upon the fact that without someone out there watching over me I should be pushing daisies. It is a moment to moment thing for me right now with all that is happening in my life. "God, take this away from me" "Grant me the serenity....". It helps. But it is an ongoing process for self discovery and peace. In many ways the AA community is also my higher power right now.

My willingness is there and I have recited the third step prayer. I am now moving onto my step 4. I am excited and anxious about it.

I have read it is all a process. For me it is avery exciting process. Self will did not work for me. The only step we need need to do 100% is one. Progress not perfection right?

Heres to another 24 everyone!
Peace!

Dee74

I found it very hard to cede control of anything...ever.

I've learned in recovery that not only will I not die if I let go of the reins a little, but in many cases it's the right thing to do in the situation

My 'faith muscle' is a lot stronger now

D

Supercrew

I'm with you Dee. I still don't truly understand the concept of "turning it over" I guess either. Does that mean just to forget about it? I mean I am working on my taxes this afternoon, and organizing and getting my receipts and paperwork in order is a highly stressful exercise and I would like to just "turn it over", and forget it, but obviously there would be reprecussions if I did that.

I understand not dwelling on things I can't change, but I have been able to change many things in the past that I thought were hopeless situations by staying actively involved in the situation.

So I guess I really don't understand the meaning of "turning it over". Does it just get fixed if I do this, or is it just a way of saying to let it pass and hopefully the best outcome will prevail if I just forget about it?

Anna

Yeah, I was a supreme control-freak in all aspects of my life. I didn't realize that control issues grow out of fear and trying to control things is an attempt to manage the fear. Of course, we really can't control much of anything in our lives, other than how we react to things. I often say the Serenity Prayer and am quite willing to let go of things now. My recovery journey has been a very interesting one.

Dee74

Well, for me, turning over doesn't mean something or someone else will fix it so I can just walk away LOL

For me it means I do what I reasonably can about whatever's bothering me...and try not to worry unduly about the rest.

Maybe you can set a reasonable limit on the tax work today 'Crew and come back and do the rest tomorrow night or something?

D

Supercrew

I'm not sure I agree with control issues resulting from fear. And I feel I control many aspects of my life especially in regards to how I act, feel, and react to situations. If I am in control of a situation or if I feel as if I can have an impact on the outcome to make me happy or make things better for myself or my family why would I not try to influence it.

Maybe I am just looking at it in the wrong way. Maybe I am just not understanding the concept. Control in my mind is empowering, and it allows me to influence and create the life I want to live. Anything else leaves it up to chance in my opinion.

If I am out of line in this thread I will kindly step away, but if someone can point me in the right direction I would appreciate it.

Supercrew

The taxes stuff is the priority today along with some March Madness, and baseball practice with my son. But thanks for the advice Dee. (Taxes aren't too bad this year, I used to do them drunk.)

So if I get you correctly Dee it is sort of in line with my 2 favorite rules in life:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff.

2. Everything is small stuff.

CarolD

my spiritual journey is far from being small stuff....
it's the core of my recovery...my life...

I take care of my responsibilities and let God handle the outcome.

JT....the more I practice letting go....the easier it becomes.
I use prayer to fine tune it often during my day
That gives me much peace and serenity....

Forward we go..side by side

Supercrew

Carol will you give me an example of something I would let go of? Or a situation where I would use this? I'm still not really understanding I guess.

Dee74

I definitely think my control issues were fear-based, 'Crew, but I can't speak for anyone else.

Same goes with my concept of letting go - it's mine and it works for me.

It's not exactly Richard Bach, because I do believe there's some stuff that's not small stuff - but I have to recognize my limits in dealing with things...

I've had to face some pretty momentous things sober...health scares, people I love ill or dying, natural disasters...thats all very real and it's not small stuff....

but I can only do what I can do...at some point I have to trust I've done all I can and I have to try and let go of the outcomes...

but then we start to get into faith and who exactly I'm turning stuff over to, and I'm not sure you're into that LOL.

D

Supercrew

Thanks Dee!

I guess I will leave it at that. Whatever that means.

Sara1956

JayT! Welcome! Willingness is half the battle Good luck my friend!

LexieCat

Supercrew:

Here's an example. I'm stressed out over doing the "perfect" job on a work project. If I am doing that, I can spend endless hours reading, thinking, planning, imagining myself doing it. Everything EXCEPT doing the actual work. Not that the prep work isn't important, but I can definitely get stuck on it, because I try to imagine all the possible outcomes, trying to make sure I'm not missing something.

If I get moving, decide I will do my best, then it is almost always good enough. I do the work, and then let go of how it will be received.

Same thing works in other areas. Show up, do my best, and let go of what I cannot control.

Supercrew

Thanks Lexie! It sounds like after the initial work is done trust yourself or your first intuition and then move on. That makes sense to me.

JayT

Such great insight folks. Thank you. I feel there are things we cant "hand over", as we have to live our lives in a manner that exudes momentum and quality of living. It is the stuff that I cant control that I find myself handing over and letting go of. "Keeping my side of teh street clean" so to speak. I am really quite new to these concepts and I find myself "hyper" thinking and over analysing alot. That is where I have much to learn in terms of living free of self will and narcasism. I am REALLY digging all of the support and insights that you all are providing. Know that you are playing an important part of my sobriety and "new" way of living.