gr8t2bme

I messed up. Almost 7 months sober and went to the casino with a friend and drank 4 glasses of wine like it was water. I can't believe how much my body craved it after a couple of sips, I feel as if I want to drink to make up for the 7 months of sobriety I had.
I did this sobriety by myself and never attended AA. Maybe this time around i should go. I haven't drank since that night but am having strong cravings.
I feel real down about failing, I just hope I can hang on. I feel as if I'm hanging by a thread. Thank you for reading my post.

Theresa

least

Get back up and learn from it, then move forward again. I failed so many times but was always encouraged to not give up... and I now have almost 16 months. It can be done. Don't give up.

EmeraldRose

Mistakes are made to learn from...keep going...!
Maybe try some support this time? This way you'd have someone to talk you thru it.

artsoul

I feel for you, gr8t - you did really well up to that point, though, so give yourself a teeny bit of credit!

Left alone with only my thoughts, I don't know if I stay sober..... and casinos scare the h*** out of me to this day (it's like another high).

I hope you get the support you need this time. AA is great. And you can always come here and read every day, so you'll keep the focus going.

Hugs........be tough with that alcoholic voice, but kind to yourself, OK?

Chris2011

Theresa...dont beat yourself up...you can do it again. When tempted, come back here!

NewMe11109

Hi Gr8-

That was my exact pattern. I got through the first six months with my "own" program of recovery and then almost relapsed. (= a couple of AA meetings and then I didn't need AA anymore .. see my story at http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ewme11109.html)

I relapsed in my mind and just didn't follow-through physically, but it is basically the same as you.

Just start again. This is a daily thing and the 7 months you put together most likely improved your health, improved your relationships, got stuff done, etc. So, don't look back in pity or disgust. You learned one thing that doesn't work. So, do something different next time.

I use AA + SR + working with other alcoholics. It has made a huge difference in my life.

Dee74

It's important not to beat yourself up so badly you go back to drinking gr8.

Many of us faltered...I certainly did.

It feels bad I know but it's simply a sign we need to go back to the drawing board

Whats done is done - learn from it, look at what you did wrong - think about what you need to add to whatever you've been doing - then do it.

Don't add to your misery, add to your programme...and move on

D

GodsHolyWill

Hi! I'm so glad you came here where people can give you support! I ask you to please don't beat yourself up over slipping. Tomorrow is a new day and that is really true! Those glasses of wine can really be your last! Rather than hanging by a thread i recommend that you abandon yourself into God's hands and let Him take care of you and lead you to sobriety. That's what I did and He is helping me. I am soon to go to my first AA meeting and I can't wait! There is a spiritual basis to AA so God will walk with you every step of the way. You don't have to do this alone!

gravity

My counsellor once told me that he see's so many alcoholics who view a slip as a major, horrendous life altering failure. It's not in most cases. Use this as a positive experience. It seems to prove that you are an alcoholic and need a solid program.

BTW, before joining AA and attaining "permanent" sobriety, I had many sober periods, all under 3 months. I don't discount them in any way. There was a learning curve for me.

JayT

Tomorrow is a new day. It is important to love and forgive yourself. You should be proud of having almost 7 months. Without a program my life was still unmanagable, even though I was not drinking. No one is perfect. Experiences like yours are an opportunity for growth and awareness. Treat yourself well and reach out....

JohnBarleycorn

Theresa,

It is not entirely a failure. But if you where hooked before, it can easily become a catastrophic failure if you keep experimenting.

Trust me, if you quit for seven months, do not try this. Formerly addicted people will become re-addicted extremely fast compared to those who where never addicted.

I made the mistake of going back to drinking, and it was not long before I was having even more than before I quit. It took me over a year to get the strength and resolve to quit again.

It may be hard for you right now to remember all of the reasons you originally quit, but ask yourself if you really want to go through the trouble again.

Every quit is different. If you get hooked again, it might be easier to quit than the last time, or it might be much more difficult.

Just ride out those cravings. They will pass if you don't feed them.

- JBC

grateful101010

Your sobriety should always be your #1 priority, and yes, going to AA would be helpful this time. You can do it, and by nipping this slip in the bud, you're already on the right track.

Hey, don't beat yourself up over this. I personally think the mistake you made was going to a casino, which are really nothing more than bars with the extra added bonus of servicing an additional addictive behavior, gambling.

There's nothing to do at a casino except one of two behaviors which are addictive and destructive for many of the people who indulge in them - alcohol and gambling.

Yes, you're the one who chose to lift the glass to your lips but what was different about that day than your other sober days - ding ding ding - you got it- a casino.

FACT: 50% of all alcohol is sold to 10% of the population. I would venture to guess that far more than 50% of casino revenues come from people who have a gambling problem.

There's no money in moderation, but there's money in making people think that gambling and its dual addictions are benign behaviors that have no bad consequences.

Veritas1

I think we want to get to a place where we recoil from alcohol as if it were a hot flame.

We know we must never drink.

Unless we are in that place...where drinking is not an option for us...where we have conceded and we know we must never drink, and that we can never safely use alcohol...it remains an option...

Maybe this time it will be different, we may think...

Someone told me that no matter what...this idea that to drink is like to put our hand in a hot flame...must be impressed upon our mind.

We teach children...don't touch the fire, you will get burned...

We must believe that when we drink, we will hurt ourselves...we will drink too much ...again and again...if we are real alcoholics.

This experience helps you to get that full knowledge of your condition.

Now you have two choices...

Try to control and enjoy your drinking, or sobriety.

I am a member of AA, and I truly believe that I would not be sober if not for the program.

I hope it is helpful for you too.

billsaintjames

7 months is a good chunk of time -- it proves that you were doing some things right. Take a look at what went wrong, research new avenues of support, and in no time you are going to be flying past that old 7 month mark.

coffeenut

There can be a learning curve to this sobriety stuff. You realize you screwed up. Learn from it and move forward.

7 months is darn good, btw.

CarolD

Many of us started over before sobriety
became a way of life....

Forward is the correct direction...

gr8t2bme

Thank you all for your advice and support. I never really knew how much of an alcoholic I was until now. Even though it's been 10 days since those 4 glasses of wine I still have strong cravings to drink more. I actually had that demon in my head telling me "just start drinking, it's more fun". I think If I continue to drink that it would be alot worse this time around and I'm afraid of what could happen.
I truly hate this feeling. I guess I never knew how strong and addiction can be. WoW! very scary.

Theresa

Dee74

Are you still thinking about AA Theresa? Maybe it's time get some more support.
No matter whether it's AA, or SMART or some other recovery group, or counselling, try something

D

SSIL75

Sorry to hear you drank but glad you're sober again. You can do this