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What do you do when your spouse doesn't think you have a problem?



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What do you do when your spouse doesn't think you have a problem?

Old 03-19-2011, 09:33 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
The New Me starting 1/11/09
 
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
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Hi Rachel -

When I joined SR and AA, I thought I was a "High Functioning Alcoholic" and not like everyone else because I hadn't had all those bad things happen to me.

Today, I realize that High Functioning is a STAGE of alcoholism, not a type.

But, for the spouse, they may not understand this.

A book that you could get for your spouse is: Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic: Professional Views and Personal Insights
by Sarah Allen Benton

I liked this book as it addressed my "type" in a more scientific way and then proved to me that I was full of @*&#^@. Today, I'm just an alcoholic who won't drink today.

Hope that helps.
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Old 03-20-2011, 06:15 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Thank you NewMe, because the last couple of days I've (well the addict side of me) been trying to convince myself that I am a "heavy drinker", not an alcoholic....and of all places I deduced that from is "Under the Influence".....the addict brain I tell you....searching for any excuse to drink. I need to read a book that will shoot that theory out of the sky.
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Old 03-20-2011, 03:30 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Rachel, I know this has been on for a few days and I haven't read all of the replies, but I wanted to chime in that I've had a similar experience - my boyfriend recognizes that I have a drinking problem but doesn't see it as severe. I came home from my first real AA meeting and he was like, "so now you see how people are much worse that you?" And I was like, yeah, it's true most of the people in my treatment program and in AA have had really serious consequences/drink a lot more in volume than I do/have tried illegal drugs/whatever. But the stories are the same when it comes down to it - loss of control, insecurity over behaviors... all of that... if I continued down the path I could very well end up in a worse situation. Isn't it better that I'm realizing these behaviors are unhealthy and addressing it at 30, when I'm relatively physically healthy and no DUI, etc., than if I was 60 with liver failure and homeless?

I think it's about him wanting me not to feel so bad about myself - so maybe your husband is the same way. He's telling you not to be too hard on yourself. He's trying to be supportive, maybe and doesn't see that he's feeding the addict in you that's telling you to drink. But I think we can only decide for ourselves if we have a problem.
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