Scared and Alone
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1
Scared and Alone
I have been drinking a bottle of wine a night. My drinking goes through phases but for probably the past month or two I have been drinking every day. And as of last week I started picking up a little bottle of whiskey to put in my coffee so I could discreetly drink all day!
I am scared. I am afraid of accepting that I have a problem, because I can not imagine life without wine. I hate myself for this! I am incredibly depressed and have so many personal issues that I can not even begin to focus on or help because I am always drunk.
I am very young, so its also complicating to think about - because its very typical for people my age to get wasted all the time. Most of my friends do. But not like me...
Is this a phase in my life, or is it the beginning signs of a disease?
My friends are concerned about it, my family is concerned about it, and I HATE being worried over - I know it is out of love...but it makes me so angry and uncomfortable. I just want to disappear. Not to mention I live alone so it is Incredibly easy to drink as much as I want with no judgement.
Please say something to make me feel better. Thanks.
I am scared. I am afraid of accepting that I have a problem, because I can not imagine life without wine. I hate myself for this! I am incredibly depressed and have so many personal issues that I can not even begin to focus on or help because I am always drunk.
I am very young, so its also complicating to think about - because its very typical for people my age to get wasted all the time. Most of my friends do. But not like me...
Is this a phase in my life, or is it the beginning signs of a disease?
My friends are concerned about it, my family is concerned about it, and I HATE being worried over - I know it is out of love...but it makes me so angry and uncomfortable. I just want to disappear. Not to mention I live alone so it is Incredibly easy to drink as much as I want with no judgement.
Please say something to make me feel better. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 267
Hi! 
I'm so glad you came here! There are a lot of great people here with a lot of experience with this disease that will support you! It's late at night in the USA right now so I don't know if you'll get a lot of responses right now, but if you don't just add an update to your post in the morning so it can go to the top of the list. People will be around! I'm really new so I don't have any advice to give, but I think you are really smart to be evaluating your drinking situation at a young age!
I'm so glad you came here! There are a lot of great people here with a lot of experience with this disease that will support you! It's late at night in the USA right now so I don't know if you'll get a lot of responses right now, but if you don't just add an update to your post in the morning so it can go to the top of the list. People will be around! I'm really new so I don't have any advice to give, but I think you are really smart to be evaluating your drinking situation at a young age! Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
Hi Dana
Welcome to SR
Well I don't think it's normal, at any age, to be putting whiskey into your drink so you can secretly drink all day...whatever you want to call it that's some pretty concerning behaviour and I think you know that...you wouldn't be here otherwise
The good news is there's a lot of us here who know exactly how you feel.
I couldn't imagine life without booze either.
I'm way older than you I suspect ,but I drank all day every day for years.
I had friends and family worried for me, which I resented and felt embarrassed by.
I hate myself and my life, but I made all kinds of excuses for myself so I could continue because I was deathly scared of living life without drinking.
I'm nearly 4 years sober now and it was the best decision I ever made
You'll find a lot of help and support here, and a lot of ideas about where to go and what to do for help.
If you've been drinking a while, and drinking regularly I recommend you see a Dr.
Detox can be difficult for some of us, and it's best to be safe.
D
Welcome to SR
Well I don't think it's normal, at any age, to be putting whiskey into your drink so you can secretly drink all day...whatever you want to call it that's some pretty concerning behaviour and I think you know that...you wouldn't be here otherwise
The good news is there's a lot of us here who know exactly how you feel.
I couldn't imagine life without booze either.
I'm way older than you I suspect ,but I drank all day every day for years.
I had friends and family worried for me, which I resented and felt embarrassed by.
I hate myself and my life, but I made all kinds of excuses for myself so I could continue because I was deathly scared of living life without drinking.
I'm nearly 4 years sober now and it was the best decision I ever made
You'll find a lot of help and support here, and a lot of ideas about where to go and what to do for help.
If you've been drinking a while, and drinking regularly I recommend you see a Dr.
Detox can be difficult for some of us, and it's best to be safe.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 551
Hello, I am so glad you found this site. Back in late December I made a plan to stop drinking, I was also drinking wine (as much and more than you) and living alone so no-one really knew the extent, I knew it was getting out of control and things were starting to spiral. I never imagined I would be able to stop. Well fast forward I am now close to 80 days with no drinking! I am a new person, I am happy, confident, prettier, slimmer and enjoying people. If you told me this back last year I would say no way could that happen, in fact I really did not care if I lived or not, looking back I feel sad i did not believe that I was worth much more. This is a really good start for you to come here, this site has been so great for me. I detoxed by opening up to a doctor and putting all on the table and said i need a plan so that I don't have major withdrawals, the doctor gave me medication, and I saw a councellor ever two weeks and this site every day. It is hard but once you put one foot in front of the other and start to see the benefits and how good things can actually be with out it it is truly amazing. Hugs to you and please keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 665
Welcome Dana, I decided a little over a month ago that I was drinking more than I wanted to. I was depressed and had many personal issues that I was either ignoring or dealing with poorly due to being buzzed or flat out drunk most of the time. I usually drank beer in front of people and kept a bottle of whiskey hidden most of the time.
I took the same first step you are taking. I came to this forum. Withdrawal can be dangerous, I recommend seeing a doctor also. My advice is find a way to stop drinking now, while you are young, before you do serious damage to your life and your health. You will find a lot of support and information on this site.
My life is so much better. All my problems haven't disappeared but sometimes it seems that they have. I'm dealing with my life much more productively. I feel good about my life and my future now. My friends and family are proud of me.
Keep checking in. I look forward to getting to know you.
I took the same first step you are taking. I came to this forum. Withdrawal can be dangerous, I recommend seeing a doctor also. My advice is find a way to stop drinking now, while you are young, before you do serious damage to your life and your health. You will find a lot of support and information on this site.
My life is so much better. All my problems haven't disappeared but sometimes it seems that they have. I'm dealing with my life much more productively. I feel good about my life and my future now. My friends and family are proud of me.
Keep checking in. I look forward to getting to know you.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
I think you are being really smart to look into what alcohol
is doing ....and regardless of age...it's a ; li... liquid toxin.
Please keep posting...you don't have to be alone ..
I think you are being really smart to look into what alcohol
is doing ....and regardless of age...it's a ; li... liquid toxin.
Please keep posting...you don't have to be alone ..
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Hey Dana...you are not alone here, that's for sure...there's quite a few forum regulars who are quite young. I'm glad you have support from friends and family.
I also recommend talking to your doctor, as a first step. For many people, quitting without support is extremely difficult. Whether it's group support (AA is the most well-known but there are many other types of groups and programs), a counselor familiar with addictions, online meetings and resources like this forum....
Keep reading and posting.
It's possible to have a great life sober, but just about everyone here knows how scary the thought of quitting is! You are taking the first step by reaching out and acknowledging a problem, so good for you. ((hug))
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Woodbridge Virginia
Posts: 67
Dana
Because you posted on here I think you already admited you have a problem. And that's not easy to do. But is necessay for you to get the help and support you need.The fact that your family recognizes you have some issues and are not enabling you is hugh. You are going to need their support. But you can do this. We all know what you're going through, you're not alone. But I would get professional help to detox because it can be dangerous to do it on your own.Please keep us posted and you're in my prayers.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Welcome!
It is really hard to accept that we are addicts and that we can never drink again. But, don't let it overwhelm you. Focus on the day and getting through the day without drinking. If others around you are pointing out your drinking problems and you are trying to figure out a way to drink secretly all day, those are big red flags. And, the certainty is that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It will get worse if you don't stop it.
It is really hard to accept that we are addicts and that we can never drink again. But, don't let it overwhelm you. Focus on the day and getting through the day without drinking. If others around you are pointing out your drinking problems and you are trying to figure out a way to drink secretly all day, those are big red flags. And, the certainty is that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It will get worse if you don't stop it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
Welcome,
The "dis-ease" is that obsession to drink. Then when you bend to that obsession, ask your self do you crave to drink more after the first drink and cannot seem to stop.
I know from my own experience, this obsession became overwheliming, that it seemed real to drink alcohol.
Try AA, find out from long term sober members about the real alcoholic, take your time to find out about this physical "condition" and what it means. When you identify from other recovered alcoholics you cannot stop after the first drink, after you succumb to the obssesive thoughts of drinking as we once did, chances are you are alcoholic.
If that be the case, then abstinence from drinking alcohol may be the safer bet.
Ofcourse, the journey then becomes learning to live sober a day at a time, it is such a blessing to be free from alcohol.
Is this a phase in my life, or is it the beginning signs of a disease?
I know from my own experience, this obsession became overwheliming, that it seemed real to drink alcohol.
Try AA, find out from long term sober members about the real alcoholic, take your time to find out about this physical "condition" and what it means. When you identify from other recovered alcoholics you cannot stop after the first drink, after you succumb to the obssesive thoughts of drinking as we once did, chances are you are alcoholic.
If that be the case, then abstinence from drinking alcohol may be the safer bet.
Ofcourse, the journey then becomes learning to live sober a day at a time, it is such a blessing to be free from alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Dana, welcome to SR since your drinking is worrying you then it is a problem. I too couldn't imagine life w/o my wine it was a part of me, when I was very young I just figured everyone drank to get drunk but I kept drinking to get drunk long after I was no longer young; and as a result I don't remember most of my 20s, 30s or 40s. I also was an extremely depressed individual for about 30 yrs, but funny thing, once I stopped drinking and started working a recovery plan I'm no longer depressed, the issues that depressed me are still there but now I can deal with them instead of trying to drown them and myself in wine. Don't waste your life in a bottle it's so much more beautiful with a clear mind.
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Hi Dana,
As a big fan of the X-files I appreciate your screen name. Hope it doesn't mean that you "trust no one" as the show advised!
SR is a great site to test out your thoughts and ideas about your drinking and read what others have to say. Sometimes folks disagree, but it can be a lively exchange of views.
I too was a wine drinker and it was becoming a real problem for me even if no one had spoken to me about it. If friends and family are concerned it is possible that they are seeing things in you that you aren't aware of and worth considering seriously.
A couple of thoughts to reiterate what others have said:
1) see your doctor and be honest about your concerns and drinking. some general practitioners may be reluctant to label you and may see if you can moderate your comsumption. Many (most?) of us found that didn't work for us. If your doctor doesn't immediately label you an alcoholic don't take this as a license to keep on drinking. Listen to yourself on this if you think it is a problem.
2)Life after drinking can be great! Healthier, happier, more productive. This is even if you aren't hungover all the time at the moment. Even if you were only drinking once or twice a week. Look to see what people on SR have to say about this and maybe look at the gratitude thread?
3) Most of us found that being sober took more than just stopping drinking. There are many types of support (AA, therapy, etc) but rethinking your life can have many far-reaching positive effects so try not to think of this as work so much as an opportunity.
Keep posting, and welcome! I only stopped drinking 4 months ago but no longer feel scared and alone, in part thanks to the community here on SR.
As a big fan of the X-files I appreciate your screen name. Hope it doesn't mean that you "trust no one" as the show advised!
SR is a great site to test out your thoughts and ideas about your drinking and read what others have to say. Sometimes folks disagree, but it can be a lively exchange of views.
I too was a wine drinker and it was becoming a real problem for me even if no one had spoken to me about it. If friends and family are concerned it is possible that they are seeing things in you that you aren't aware of and worth considering seriously.
A couple of thoughts to reiterate what others have said:
1) see your doctor and be honest about your concerns and drinking. some general practitioners may be reluctant to label you and may see if you can moderate your comsumption. Many (most?) of us found that didn't work for us. If your doctor doesn't immediately label you an alcoholic don't take this as a license to keep on drinking. Listen to yourself on this if you think it is a problem.
2)Life after drinking can be great! Healthier, happier, more productive. This is even if you aren't hungover all the time at the moment. Even if you were only drinking once or twice a week. Look to see what people on SR have to say about this and maybe look at the gratitude thread?
3) Most of us found that being sober took more than just stopping drinking. There are many types of support (AA, therapy, etc) but rethinking your life can have many far-reaching positive effects so try not to think of this as work so much as an opportunity.
Keep posting, and welcome! I only stopped drinking 4 months ago but no longer feel scared and alone, in part thanks to the community here on SR.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! I had all those emotions myself before I stopped drinking: scared, alone, depressed....... not to mention the hangovers and anxiety (like my nerves were exposed). I just decided I couldn't take it anymore, and it sounds like you're at that point, too.
With the help of this forum, I managed to get through the first couple days (although I'd definitely recommend getting medical help). I just made it my #1 goal to be sober for that 24 hour period. I allowed myself to order out some really good food and made that my temporary reward for getting through the day.
Find something (anything) to do when you would normally drink and hang out with us. I think you'll see that it's only scary trying to imagine a sober life. The reality is that you'll get calmer, stronger, happier....... just try it!
Hugs going out to you.........:ghug3
With the help of this forum, I managed to get through the first couple days (although I'd definitely recommend getting medical help). I just made it my #1 goal to be sober for that 24 hour period. I allowed myself to order out some really good food and made that my temporary reward for getting through the day.
Find something (anything) to do when you would normally drink and hang out with us. I think you'll see that it's only scary trying to imagine a sober life. The reality is that you'll get calmer, stronger, happier....... just try it!
Hugs going out to you.........:ghug3
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