almay777

Hi everyone - thankyou so much for your kind words. The only thing I am sure of is I want to stop. If I didnt, I would not be here, asking for help. I still do not have a day one :-(. But I have not had a drink today and am just taking it one hour at a time in the hope I can get to bed time without having picked up a drink. I know once I have day 1, I can concentrate on day 2, then 3 etc. I am so tired because I can never sleep. This is because I drink so much that I just lay there feeling my eyes and face ache with exhaustion, but there is nothing I can do about it. I hope if I do not drink for a few days and manage to actually sleep, then things will be clearer.

JoeStrummer

Those are very encouraging words almay. I often feel that I have no business advising other alcoholics on this site because am so new to sobriety myself, but because I am new my memories of both my drinking days and withdrawl are still very fresh, and I am still in the stage where every day of sobriety is fresh and exciting.

We've all been where you are today my friend, and we all know how tough it is to get through those first few days. I am always inspired by posts like the one you made this morning. Hang in there buddy. Lots of people here are on your side.

Auggie

Yes, we all know how difficult the first few days are, but getting to the other side is such a fantastic feeling. Just put one foot in front of the other. I definitely took each hour by hour and minute by minute sometimes. My thoughts are with you. Be strong.

Kjell

Hi Almay-

It sounds like you are powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable.

(which is the first step in AA)

I'm now 15+ months sober, but reading your post brought me right back to my last "days" of drinking. I remember feeling completly and utterly hopeless, worthless, and I was full of guilt, fear, shame, and remorse.

...but I couldn't stop. I honestly couldn't stop drinking no matter what was going on.

By working the steps of AA the obession to drink has been removed and I have a design for living w/ out alcohol that I needed, then later wanted.

...but I'm not special. This solution is there for anyone who is willing to do the work.

You never have to drink again.

We can and do recover and you can be living proof.

Kjell~

SSIL75

I'm exhausted today (various reasons) and was being a baby about it before I reminded myself that for YEARS I did exactly what you're doing. Going to bed wasted and never getting restful sleep. I swear it drove me a little mad and absolutely fed into my addiction. "Wired and Tired". All the time.

Make this your day one. You have NOTHING to lose. Whatever your brain is telling you you'll be missing out on is a LIE. I couldn't sober up until I realized that.

Dee74

SSIL75 is right Almay - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain here.
Some days were hour by hour for me too.

Thats why IMO supports really important. I hope you'll consider keeping yourself plugged in here a little more - and I think looking for real life support is a great idea too.

Get all the reinforcements you can Almay. You can do this

D