Sara1956

I am new here and have problems of my own so I don't know what's best.
But, I think that recognition and addmission that there is a problem is a step in the right direction.
I'm going to try to learn from all of you.

Dee74

Welcome aboard Sara

I think recognition and admission are great things, but action is the ingredient that brings it all together

Hope to hear more of your story soon.
D

least

I gave it up for good over a year ago and my life's never been better. I'm happier and there's virtually no risk in my life anymore, at least, none from drinking. No legal, moral, or health risks and I'm saving a lot of money too by not spending it on wine.

I hope you succeed in sobriety. I'm loving my sober life.

IndyOG

My personal experience has convinced me that's the difference between the alcoholic drinker and normal drinkers. When one gets a little light headed and says something stupid or gets loud the normal drinkers mind says,"whoa, I'm getting tipsy and better stop". The alcoholic wants more and their mind says 'Ladies and Gentlemen, Start your engines' Were having fun now"!

FrothyJay

Could it be because you have no effective defense against drinking? That you are powerless over alcohol?

Alcoholism manifests as a physical allergy-- once we activate the craving, we do not typically stop drinking until we are unconscious, hospitalized, or incarcerated. We cannot stop.

Baffling, isn't it? I can't tell you how many times my best intentions failed.

The worst part of alcoholism is the realization that nothing stops us-- not our family, our children, our health nor our jobs. The AA definition of alcoholism is someone who is completely powerless over alcohol-- who cannot stop despite the "frothy emotional appeals" of our loved ones.

If he came back tomorrow, what would that fix? You'd still be an alcoholic, which means this situation might repeat itself in short order. I understand how painful the unraveling of our lives can be, but I'm trying to point out that until you treat your alcoholism, stability and peace will be hard to find.

Have you been to AA?

Snarf

I'm sorry to hear about the problems you're experiencing. My fiancee (we've been together 7 years) told me multiple times that our relationship was over, and I think it really was a couple times. Somehow I was able to weasel my way back into her life. But each and every time, I would go back to drinking and doing ridiculous things and sabotaging our relationship.

The last time I got arrested (DUI #2) I was positive our relationship was over. I knew I had crossed the line. But I put down the alcohol and got myself to an AA meeting, and I went to 4 meetings that day. I found this site that night. And I buried myself in AA meetings and reading and posting on SR.com. She began to see a change in me, and she was willing to try to work things out if I continued to do the right things. She had heard me tell her countless times that I would change, but this time she had to actually see it with her own eyes. Now, almost a year later, I haven't had a drop of alcohol, I make much better decisions, and our relationship is better than ever.

That's pretty much a long-winded example to show that if you want things to change, you've gotta change things. If alcohol is ruining your relationship with you spouse, and you want to keep that relationship intact, it would probably be a good idea to get rid of the booze.

SSIL75

Welcome! It sounds to me as though you've been putting your energy into 'getting a handle on' your drinking and learning how to control it, etc. As we can all attest.. this is all useless and pointless. Once you focus on how to never.drink.again.ever you'll likely see your life turn around.

For some (not me) this means AA.. others go to private therapy. Or just use this site or whatever. You basically do whatever it takes to make sure you never pick up that first drink.

Hoping you feel some peace soon!

RebelAngel

Hi & welcome, as you discovered, there is so much collective help & support here. I am very newly sober, but the one thing I can be ABSOLUTELY, TOTALLY SURE about is that I cannot drink alcohol again. Ever.
I wish you all the best & recommend we pay particular attention to the long-term sober for wisdom & guideance and the newly sober for support.
(AGHH, that is NOT to say that the newbs aren't wise or the long-timers are unsupportive before anyone takes offense... :-) )