Day 1....Again
 

I have tried on and off the past 18 months to stop drinking. I usually do well for about 2 months at a time and then have a "bad night" where I drink and drink until I don't know what is going on. I had one of those nights last night. I know what happens when I do it, my friends worry, my parents worry, and my girlfriend hates it. Everyone cares a lot for me, but I still can't get rid of drinking in my life.

So I am trying it again, but it seems I only do this after a "bad night" and then a few weeks down the road I slowly get back into my rut. It is scary and I hope I will finally have something click in my head pretty soon that this cycle has to change.

Maybe it's time to try something different.

Why not go to an AA meeting?

If you can remain sober for 2 months but one Bad night derails you , you can do it Keep trying . It is not how many times you fail , it is how many times you do not quit trying . Are you good Golfer ?, as your name starts with Golf . PM me to talk more about it

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Hi golf - I'm with Bingen; 2 months is pretty impressive and shows you're doing something right.

It takes a bit of effort to keep sobriety #1 on our list, especially when things are going well and we can't recall the pain. I find that coming here every day really helps me stay motivated. My willpower never worked very well.

Thanks for the post...... Keep the faith - you really can do this!:ghug3

Yes, 2 months sober shows you're trying...keep trying. Envision who you see yourself as without drinking, then concentrate on being that person. If you lapse, get back up and remind yourself who you are, then strive to be that person again. You'll get to where you're comfortable being you without drinks. So much more you can accomplish, too.

Thank you for the messages. I just am so tried of blackouts and figuring out what happened the night before. I have tried to have a few drinks here and their, but it doesn't work so I really need this to be the last time drinking, but it is scary.

Golf, your situation sounds similar to what mine has been. The older I got, the foggier things would get in the aftermath of a binge. Just got to the point where it didn't make sense to continue that way...too much at risk, not to mention limiting my own potential. No drinking is the method I choose for me. Trying to manage drinking is not effective for me. Scary? Yeah, because you redefine who you are, and that involves real change. But think of the opportunity in that. Think about the things that you'd be doing if you weren't shaking out cobwebs from that night before. It takes time, but it gets easier and more satisfying as you go. I still have hurdles to get past (ie., encountering long time drinking buddies I haven't seen in a while), but I'm more confident that I'll get through them *my way* than ever before. Don't beat yourself up, just concentrate on doing what you know is right for you.

You can learn to deal with the 'bad nights' without drinking.

And, I know how hard it is, but you can do it.

Good for you for keeping on trying.

Hang in there! Keep trying and I agree maybe try something different. It is all about change and the courage to do that. AA works for me and I never thought that could be possible!

Welcome to SR golfinmidwest :)

D

Those blackouts scared me too...all sorts of dangerous things
happened I could have died.

The good news? they stopped immediately when I quit drinking
:yup:

Please stop mucking around....a sober life is so much better
Action and change and hard work....that is how I stay a non drinker.

soberandliving...Welcome to our recovery community
:wavey: