mesh12121

So i had 17 days sober...had extremly vivid hallucinations during detox and am now drinking moderatly only for the fear of losing my mind. i just today realized that some things that i thought happened before the detox never did....i made it up?? I thought i broke in a school and assulted someone in self defense and got away with it because of the self defense...i talked to my wife about the situation and the fact that it was in the media...it never fkin happened?!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been making up these scenarios even b4 the detox or i made them up during and mentally "backdated" them...i also found out that when i was in the detox center my wife in which i allowed the hospital to give full disclosure during detox was told to get a lawyer and file something to the effect of temporary power of attorney because they honestly didn't know if i was going to come out of the hallucinations...true story...noone knows me here so i'll be honest...my wife cheated on me in 2006 and i had a hallucination while in detox that she told me that she did it again recently...back in 06 she lied to a point that really made me question my sanity back then...after 6 months i pulled the whole story out of her so there is trust issues...so this is what i know....i didn't hit nobody before detox...i was never in thee national media for it...my wife did cheat on me in 06...what i don't know is this....has she been doing it again or did i make the whole thing up this time...everytime i hallucinate or "backdate" a halucination it always ends with a conversation with her wether real or fake...the halucinations tied into the previous lies make it hard to tell the difference between truth and reality...the only reason i am sure i'm having halucinations is because i made up a story about being on a hi-jacked plane in california while at the hospital in ohio...while being so vivid it is obvious that it didn't happen...everything else is so vivid and could be viable....all this from drinking...wtf...ever see the movie a beautiful mind....well i'm not russell crowe and i'm far from a genius but it's the only way i can explain it??? I'm not scared though??? I have anxiety disorder...everything scares me??? Not this...why?????????????????????????

Anna

I strongly urge you to talk to your dr.

I think beginning to drink again is a huge mistake.

MsCooterBrown

Alcoholism causes ALOT of stuff we can point our fingers at...but this is a bit deeper ..may be something way deeper going on. I know for me..while embibing daily..problems were magnified but they were not imagined. They were just not as big as my whiskey hazed mind built them up to be. This is something else. I would for sure check in with the doc and stay away from the bottle. Can't be helping any that is for sure.

coffeenut

Since I have quit drinking I haven't hallucinated, had crippling anxiety or a mountain of drama.

Right now, things may seem out of control. Choose one thing to control....your drinking. The rest will fall into place.

Welcome to SR!

Oh, and like Anna said, really you should see a doc.