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Old 03-10-2011, 08:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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For Those Struggling with Boredom


I used to get home from work, crack open my first bottle of wine for the night and drink and smoke until I passed out...I might read without actually absorbing the information, I might eat something junky. I'd let the dogs take care of themselves in the yard and get annoyed if they wanted my attention. On weekends I'd be lucky to hold off on the drinking until after noon. Empty bottles lined my counters and piles of cigarette butts filled my patio. My spare bedroom was supposed to be my art studio but it had become a repository of lost dreams and talent.

When I got sober I didn't have a clue what to do with my time. I went to bed early, really early and slept a lot! I surfed the internet and found SR and poured vast amounts of time into the place. I did not want to drink but I was clueless what else to do. I did not know what, if anything, I wanted out of life, even my art. The alcohol was gone but there was nothing to replace it.

I worked with a Life Coach, she gave me assignments. Ever so gradually I started to do things again. I cleaned my house, then I began to redecorate. I took my dogs to a play group. I was functioning but my life had not done the instantaneous 180 I thought it would once I got rid of alcohol.

The process has been gradual, and at first the steps were so small that progress was hard to measure. At 3 months the change seemed miniscule. But now it seems huge and it was only achievable by a thousand miniscule steps.

Last night I got home from work, took the dogs on a 4 mile walk, had a healthy home made dinner, and spent 3 hours repairing the duvet my dog (bad dog) ripped. Every day is filled with wonderful, productive stuff, to the point that there is never enough time in the day. Spending an evening fixing a blanket might not sound particularly exciting to some (it wouldn't have appealed to me 8 months ago) but it turns out a life filled with usefulness and purpose is so rewarding.

Weekends are now spent in the studio, filling commissions and creating art. My house is a home, my dogs are happy and well cared for. There are no bottles overflowing my kitchen and my patio is devoid of cigarette butts. The spare bedroom is a lovely guest room.

It takes time, patience and work, but life can be amazing again. Don't Give Up!
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:23 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Good stuff, whenever I get bored I remember all the exciting times I had in prison, never a dull moment there...
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:25 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I am really happy for you. It sounds life you have gotten things back in order and you have made great improvements to introduce happiness into your life...
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:26 AM   #4 (permalink)
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How wonderful!! You are really living your life and your recovery is glowing!

May I ask...how does one find a "life coach?"
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I always just try to seek out and talk to other addiction people when I am bored. Wave. Say Hi. I actually do that all the time. I love this thread though. I can't wait to put some of it into ACTION.
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:37 AM   #6 (permalink)
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LaFemme, I'm happy to read that you are doing great. Keep it up and I hope life gets even better.
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:41 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Thank you for sharing! And for all of the newbies...there are a millions of stories, just like hers.
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:43 AM   #8 (permalink)
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You are so right LaFemme! The empty bottles, the neglect of myself and my home were just the beginning. My only focus was alcohol and did I have enough. I used to read 2 books a week and the whole paper on Sunday's. I couldn't focus on a book and eventually canceled the paper. It was a chore just walking to the Paper box across the street.

When I quit drinking I had to relearn how to live again. Like you said it was gradual process. Like waking from a self induced coma!

It seemed to take forever, we want immediate change. Also we don't realize the progress we've made until we look back on our lives. It's like an ah ha moment!

I'm so happy your life is filled with order and productivity. Thanks for your insightful post. It made me reflect on how much my life has changed for the better. I didn't realize how far I've come in the 9 months I've been sober.

Best Wishes To You!
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:51 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I can't wait for springtime, to plant flowers (and tomatoes), take the dog for a nice long walk, talk to people outside and enjoy my free time.

my house is clean (well somewhat), there is real food, clothes are washed and put away, the car is serviced and I again enjoy some hobbies. I read books, magazines and am productive and happy.

ahem, yes, where does one find a real Life Coach, how do we know how to spot someone capable and not a fake? are there certain certifications?
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Hi LaFemme!! Thank-you for the post!! it's always good to remember where we came from and how far we have come on our journey!!
At times I do feel bored, but I would rather feel bored..than to feel nothing at all!! passed out in bed...and waking with a major headache...and wishing somebody would shoot me!!

Thanks for the reminder!!
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Old 03-10-2011, 08:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Fandy, I'm also looking forward to planning my garden

Re: a Life Coach...well, mine kind of happened by fate. She does not deal in addiction specifically but if you are interested pm me and I can give you her contact info. Finding a good LC can be tricky because they aren't always certified. I think it's a lot like finding any type of therapist...do some reading, do some research and interview a number of people to find the right fit.
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:25 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Hi LFemme, you just reminded me to do my laundrey today. I agree, its babysteps all the time, but with babysteps the changes are hugs. My house too is much cleaner, my cats healthier and I think my work is improving. Also my writing is improving. There are so many things to do. I also communicate more with people and make people feel better about themselves. It is amazing what a life without alk does. I was at a business dinner yesterday and they ordered a bottle of wine. I had 2 diet cokes instead had a good time. I actually relaxed. It is amazing how normies can talk 3h over 1 bottle of wine for 4 people..... If it would ahve been me I would ahve needed 4 bottles for myslef in the 4h....
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Old 03-10-2011, 09:33 AM   #13 (permalink)
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so a Life Coach is similar to a therapist as opposed to a Personal Trainer?

i am thinking that if i find the correct type of person it might be covered by my health insurance
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:06 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I know that some are covered by insurance...mine is not, but is thinking about getting the degree that would allow her to be covered.

I joke that it's like going to therapy and not blaming your parents for everything
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:10 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Just wanted to say thanks for the great post. Your posts are always so insightful and uplifting. They give me inspiration and encouragement, and a reminder of where I have been and where I can be. Life is so much better without alcohol. Just to get up and feel good each day and be productive is an accomplishment in itself for some of us who literally have had days we couldn't drag ourselves out of bed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:17 AM   #16 (permalink)
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How wonderful!
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:23 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Lafemme-

What an awesome post!

I too, needed a "life coach" of sorts. I have a sponsor (AA), but it's the same idea as far as I needed someone else to do my thinking for me in the beginning as I was learning how to live and stay sober. I needed a new design for living and one that did not include alcohol/drugs.

I also really liked your comment about "my house is a home". I know exactly what you mean by that.

Kjell~
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:49 AM   #18 (permalink)
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LaFemme, I relate completely. No more bottles cluttering my counters, no more piles of junk sitting around. I take care of myself and my space much more consistently now. I don't have a life coach but I try to think like my own Concentrating on the future & my goals, etc, instead of dwelling on the past.

Thanks for the great post!
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:21 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Thanks for posting that - its help lift me from my crappy day
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:22 AM   #20 (permalink)
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If someone had told me I was going to be busy and purposeful 12 to 14 hours a day 2 yrs ago, you could have knocked me over with a feather.
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