findingthepath

I introduced myself here last week sometime. And I haven't had a drink since Saturday. I feel better today than I have. However, I am completely and totally heartbroken over losing who I believe is the love of my life. A man I do not love is practically stalking me, seriously, it's exhausting. Txting and calling and coming by and asking if Ill ever love him forever and why not, and why am I sitting on the couch instead of standing next to him, and why didn't I pick up the phone when he called 5 times in a row (while I'm at work). And my heart just reaches out for the other man, who I just believe in I guess. Work blows this week, and last. I am brizoke, for sure. No cash. Driving a wrecked car, and its raining, so the trunk is wet and stinks. My Dad has lost his mind, he is an addict as well and completely heartbroken over losing my Mom. My exhusband has been depending on me a little too much lately for emotional support. I have had a headache constantly and know it would go away if I went home right now and took a few shots of whiskey. But I wont. And I wont go get high. I will just take a breath and work. After I post these minor complaints. I just feel like every little bitty thing is gonna make me go off and scream and break stuff and run away and possibly literally explode. I am pretty emotional today. Thanks for listening.

Chris2011

findingthepath...I am very sorry you are going through really tough times. Please know that there is only one way to go...and that is UP. Way up. It starts with your staying sober. I think of what I have been doing for a long time, and it was like draining water out of a sink...twirling down, down....and it had to stop. You can stop it too. Take a deep breath, go out for fresh air, a cup of coffee, and get something you can read about staying clean. Remember, with every day that passes, you will feel better and be a step closer to emotional healing. Come back here to talk about it. You can do it...we all can.

Omega060610

I am sorry to hear all the extra burdens you are dealing with at this trying time.

I love your combative attitude though. You have your addiction by the throat.

notaloser

keep coming here, and venting it has helped me tremendously when I feel that way, and so far I've been hanging on without a drink

bevin

External stress sucks, for sure. I'm going through a bit myself right now, but I know that giving up this struggle would be the worst thing I could possibly do. When I get REALLY drunk I also get REALLY overwhelmed with things that I can't do anything about.
I find that walking is about the only thing that helps when I feel that way.
I've also had a stalker in the past and it is...weird and overwhelming. Do you think he's dangerous or just a bit obsessive?

findingthepath

well, I think he is just a bit obsessive. But I'm starting to wonder. I mean, he certainly cannot understand when I ask him to leave that I actually want him to leave, and leave me alone. I'm starting to see some anger, hostility, etc. rise each time we have this conversation. And, I don't know why we are still having it. He should just leave. If I just ignore him, he shows up at my house. I have a kid at home.
But that I can handle. Staying clean and sober and sane, not so sure. Scratch that. I am sure. Just a bit of a hard day. You are all right. Ill take a walk, and go to bed earlier, then it will be tomorrow. :P Thanks everybody.