What part of _____ don't people understand?
 

Fill in the blank.

I'm getting really tired of the little wars going on around here. I do understand this isn't exactly a free speech zone, but the generalizing of certain groups of people needs to stop.

Those who are solid in recovery have no need to bash other people's methods or reasons why they do or don't do certain methods for recovery.

Why can't folks stick to their personal experiences instead of judging what other people do or don't do? Can anyone answer this question?

Everyone's personal experience is just as valid as everyone else's.

I think about every word I write before I post--I didn't always do that before. I've got censors self-imposed.

Can't we all just get along?

I dont know what brought this on but I havent seen any bashing. The long termers know when someone is making it harder on themselves and try to help.

Hey Bam!

I think it is because so many people are in different stages of recovery and some people are also less familiar with SR. I know when I first got here I got a lot of posts deleted (and I always try tone careful online). When I see a postthese days that makes me angry I now try and look at it from any direction and ask myself if my response will help anyone...especially the thread originator.

But it took me a bit to get there And a lot of words from Dee.

Hugs.

If there wasn't all sorts of different views and opinions shared right here in first stages of recovery and/or later on, then we would all be brainwashed to just look at it from one way.

The reality of the world is "all of us" with all our differences and all our likes.

I try not to get involved too much anymore but I know that when I was drinking I was so afraid that AA was the only way and so despondent at the thought that it was my only way out. Truly a life of drinking seemed preferable to me.

So for me it's not about bashing other people's recovery choices but a kind of desperation I feel to give others HOPE that there is a way out of the hell of addiction without a 12 step program. Even 'real' alcoholics and drug addicts ;)

I feel the same way about thinking before I write anything. Not because I feel like I might say something mean but because I feel like if I say anything about how I don't attend AA I might get half a dozen people trying to make me feel guilty about it. I can't afford any feelings of guilt this early in my recovery. In fact I tried AA for a few years but all of the judgement I received in the rooms about how many meetings I attended, how much I shared, what I shared, how much service I did, whether or not I believed in God etc. is what keeps me from the rooms today.

Sometimes I post that I don't do AA or that I am atheist and I'm not asking for opinions but I get plenty of them. The bottom line is that there is more than one way to skin a cat and if someone doesn't choose AA for their recovery they should be respected for their decision. We should stick to support and staying sober here no matter which method we personally choose for ourselves. I am glad that many have found success in staying sober in AA but it isn't the only way.

this is a vast community of people who are sharing experiences in sobriety and getting to that point.

we have to be lenient and rather *stretchy* for lack of a better word.

and there are always people who will try to interact just for the sake of arguement(sober or not)...those are the ones I just try to ignore. you know what they say about opinions...everybody has one.

I have found that i cannot interact with some and some i just read for information. when in doubt, i do without...(posting).

but i use SR for both interaction and support...and i would be less educated and I would NOT be sober if i didn't participate here.

Bam,

The Mods here work very hard to keep people following the rules.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would PM a Mod with a particular issue, rather than posting on the board. Please don't assume that we see everything and just ignore it. The way to deal with an issue is to PM one of the mods and include a link or use Report a Post.

I firmly believe that our SR community is the best!

I wouldn't take internet personalities too seriously Bamboozle. In the end of the day it's probably just some average joe with an abudance of time on their hands, sat clicking 'Refresh' every 5 minutes for the majority of the day. :)

I like that, the idea of being "stretchy". :)

I freely share what has worked for me, and I will encourage people to try AA if they haven't and are avoiding it only out of fear or what they have "heard" (there's a lot of misinfo floating around). OTOH, if someone is following another path and they are succeeding, more power to them, and I will cheer them on just as enthusiastically as if they were picking up a chip at a meeting. There are a lot of non-AA success stories around here, and whatever works for the individual is valid.

I do think there are many people who benefit greatly from the structured way of self-exploration that AA promotes, and I know there are some who failed at every other way of staying sober who succeeded with AA.

But an atmosphere of mutual respect, and neither presuming nor pushing an agenda on anyone's part beyond a wish to be helpful, is of great value on a forum like this.

And I think the mods here to a GREAT job of keeping things civil, even when the discussion gets lively. And discussion is a good thing. It sometimes clarifies things in my own mind, and makes me consider other ideas besides my own.

i have used the Ignore Button and it Really Helps my Enjoyment of SR! good topic Bam..

Using the Ignore Button is great advice.

Where is the ignore button?

if you click on the person's name you have the option to 'add them to my ignore list'.

Thanks for the advice!

Why not just ignore their post? Just because you disagree with someone doesn't really justify ignoring every contribution they make. In my opinion of course. :)

What if one day they give out good advice, and you miss it?

Just my 10 cents. :)

I agree with You Rickie but there sure are one or two people I have seriously consideres ignoring...I am sure there are those who feel the same about me:)

Question...does the ignore button go both ways...say if I ignore Fandy (you know I never would:)) would she then not see my posts? Would she then not be able to send me pm's? Just curious:)

Hugs Fandy!

thanks for telling where the Ignore button is, i was searching all over my own control panel too.

LeFemme; "nobody puts Fandy in the corner"....(Patrick Swayze said this):a213:

You were absolutely correct in posting this as it brings up a point that everyone should recognize. There are people out there who feel that their program is the only program and won't hesitate to let you know that.

When I see such pronouncements, I think of Plato's observation that Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something.

Ignore the fools. Find your own path to sobriety.