Saliena

I am at work.. and 63 days ago today... I really F***** up at work... Noone knew it... they though "Wow she isn't acting normal..."... I didn't usually drink during the day... and well that day was gray.. and depressing... and I drank.. all day at work.. it started around 10... and ended around 3... I knew I had to be okay enough to drive home at 6... (not that I was okay by 6.. but I tricked myself into thinking I was). I still drove home. And, on the way I keep thinking (I got away with it!!!). I got home... and my roommate... was sitting on my sofa. His wife had passed away a year before. She was my best friend in the entire world. He told me "I have a problem... I know we share..". That night him and I went to an AA meeting. I still haven't told him of my problem... today I am going to. He went back to drinking after that AA meeting. I keep going and found a sponser... and really worked the program. For awhile he went to AA meetings... and that was enough to keep him sober for 30 days... but, he couldn't do it on his own. Which I am sad for. **** I am not a Saint... Long ways from it. But, I know my truth... drinking for me is worse then the cancer my mother died from. Because, I can hurt/kill others on my way out. Today I make the decision to not drink... And, I hope it will last me through the night... But, I keep coming back.. because I now KNOW... it works if you work it... but you have to work it every day and every night...