thiskidknows

since I last visted...not because I've been doing well, the opposite. Swolled up in the world of heroin. addiction has got worse, method of use has got worse ~ "drug" friends are dying around me, Funeral last friday of a friend who was 25. I've tried methodone, i've tried subotex...I just don't seem to be able to get clean, or get away from my ex (who got me hooked).

I don't know where to turn, I do know that if I carry on this way it will end up one way, dead.

I'm losing everything around me, each day I lose more of the person I was..i moved in October to a new area where i know nobody, first day at the clinic, numbers of dealers...and another addict..I go back to the place i lived to score everyday...I don't know anyone whose not using where i live (infact i don't even contact the numbers i have)...I need help, the clinic i go to are causing more problems then helping..had i stayed where i was i was getting the help, but i was surrounded by people i was using with..now i'm not getting the help that i desperately want and need and I don't know what else to do.

I can't carry on like this. I have nobody to turn too. I need help or I won't be around to get the help. please any help or advice. please I'm sorry i've not been here for so long so have no right to ask for help, i'm sorry for being so selfish and not helping anyone, i'm not able to help me so the last person anyone would want help from anyway is me...i'm only good enough for messing up, and causing more problems for myself. sorry.

Anna

You will find help here at the Samaritans and know that you can do this:

Samaritans Home Page-->

ReadyAndAble

Welcome back. You have every right to ask for—and expect—support. And everyone here helps everyone else—even people who are still using help others, maybe especially so, because it reminds sober folks of where they've been.

I don't know anything about heroin, so I don't have any advice. But I do know a better life awaits you. I hope you grab it. Keep posting!

Chris2011

Please seek out rehab...now. Hang in there...

GodsHolyWill

Please don't be so hard on your dear self! You are very welcome here! I hear a lot of pain in your message, so I'm going to suggest to you what I do! Turn to God, He loves you very much and doesn't want you to end up dead at a young age! he has a purpose for you in this life and he wants you to fulfill it! You are precious! I suggest that you go to an Narcotics Anonymous meeting. You will meet people there that will understand you and support you! Please try to talk to people there and get some phone numbers so that you can call in time of need and that you will now know some sober people where you are living, not just active addicts. You're worth all the effort in the world!

mtnmagic

I want to welcome you back to SR and tell you that I am very glad
you are here. Please check out the link Ann posted and please
keep coming back here for support. You are not a bad person,
you are a sick person who wants to get well. It took courage
to come here and reach out for help.

thiskidknows

Thank you for your replies. I wasn't expecting anyone too as I was sure whats happening in "real" life would happen here as well, so sorry for judgeing you the same, sorry.

I have managed to get an appointment with the community drug service tomorrow at 15:00 so will see what happens as I really dont want togo back on meth (which doesn't agree with my stomach anyway) as I see it as swapping one addiction to another! Also, the hardest thing is how I feel when im back in the real world, with no drugs in my system I struggle so much to cope.

anyway, thank u for ur replies.