Been here before, finally joined up!!! Newbie Alert
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 102
Been here before, finally joined up!!! Newbie Alert
Hi people of this forum,
I have to start by saying that this forum has been helpful in the past, very helpful. Your stories have answered questions for me longer than I have even paid attention to. Thank you.
So I'm new, I joined as part of a lifestyle make over. I have anxiety and depression and I drink because of it. The drinking has been the same for years and years (I'm in my early 30's) moderate and regular. A few things have happened in my life that made me aware of the problems alcohol creates.
I had the typical verbally abusive drinking BF who finally snapped off one day and strangled and punched me. I left not long after and cut all ties, it's been over 3 years of no contact. My parents were always drinkers, like me, regularly without many problems, however the last time I flew out to visit my dad he was a real jerk. He was overly emotional, nice to my brother, cruel and insulting to me and then one night he got so wasted he fell off the couch after "falling asleep" onto the wood floor. He's in his 70's and the fall didn't wake him. I was disgusted and said outloud, "you can just lay there you *expletive* you make me sick!" He got up about 20 minutes later.
Then there's me... I have had a handful of blackouts in my life, done the stupid stuff, drove drunk in high school without remembering that I had even driven. Drank too much in college. Settled down and lightened up until this last year when I met some people and had the "second childhood" summer. After realizing this, which took more than 6 months, I have weeded problem people away from me and this is part of my new start I guess. Here I am.
My mission is to come here, read, learn, stay positive, manage my depression and anxiety (I'm going back to the doc to get that in order next week), drink less and stay healthy (eat better, sleep better, etc). I know I will become a problematic drinker if I don't get mindful now, and my family and friends drinking is beginning to take a huge toll on me emotionally. One of my friends is a severe alcoholic, I can't be around him anymore, I love him, he tried to go and get help, bailed at the last minute, he's sick all the time (falling down, confused, vomiting, shaking and still drinking) I know that I will see him die. It's horrible.
That's my story, I'm glad to make contact with you.
I have to start by saying that this forum has been helpful in the past, very helpful. Your stories have answered questions for me longer than I have even paid attention to. Thank you.
So I'm new, I joined as part of a lifestyle make over. I have anxiety and depression and I drink because of it. The drinking has been the same for years and years (I'm in my early 30's) moderate and regular. A few things have happened in my life that made me aware of the problems alcohol creates.
I had the typical verbally abusive drinking BF who finally snapped off one day and strangled and punched me. I left not long after and cut all ties, it's been over 3 years of no contact. My parents were always drinkers, like me, regularly without many problems, however the last time I flew out to visit my dad he was a real jerk. He was overly emotional, nice to my brother, cruel and insulting to me and then one night he got so wasted he fell off the couch after "falling asleep" onto the wood floor. He's in his 70's and the fall didn't wake him. I was disgusted and said outloud, "you can just lay there you *expletive* you make me sick!" He got up about 20 minutes later.
Then there's me... I have had a handful of blackouts in my life, done the stupid stuff, drove drunk in high school without remembering that I had even driven. Drank too much in college. Settled down and lightened up until this last year when I met some people and had the "second childhood" summer. After realizing this, which took more than 6 months, I have weeded problem people away from me and this is part of my new start I guess. Here I am.
My mission is to come here, read, learn, stay positive, manage my depression and anxiety (I'm going back to the doc to get that in order next week), drink less and stay healthy (eat better, sleep better, etc). I know I will become a problematic drinker if I don't get mindful now, and my family and friends drinking is beginning to take a huge toll on me emotionally. One of my friends is a severe alcoholic, I can't be around him anymore, I love him, he tried to go and get help, bailed at the last minute, he's sick all the time (falling down, confused, vomiting, shaking and still drinking) I know that I will see him die. It's horrible.
That's my story, I'm glad to make contact with you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 715
Hi Presstoe
I know for me to start recovery I had to initially stop seeing my heavy drinking friends and even now after some time it's still uncomfortable watching someone go down the addiction cycle - especially family.
Welcome to SR
I know for me to start recovery I had to initially stop seeing my heavy drinking friends and even now after some time it's still uncomfortable watching someone go down the addiction cycle - especially family.
Welcome to SR
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by Presstoe 
drink less and stay healthy That's my story, I'm glad to make contact with you.
If your goal is to "drink less" then you may be in the wrong place.
Abstinence is our way and if that's your goal, then welcome!
Kjell
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Texas
Posts: 150
It might be helpful for you to look at the Friends and Family section, and maybe learn a little about Al-Anon. If you can moderate, then you're not alcoholic but those threads may help you deal with the alcoholics around you.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
Welcome back!!
Good you're consulting a doctor! Beware, however, the possibility of drugs being prescribed for the depression/anxiety. This can be easily replace the alcohol abuse. I have dealt with both of those in recovery and I'm learning how to deal with me better today. Taking more pills only kept me trying to find a solution in the bottle when the problem was my thinking. Now that I'm working on my thinking - my depression and anxiety are SO much better!
Good you're consulting a doctor! Beware, however, the possibility of drugs being prescribed for the depression/anxiety. This can be easily replace the alcohol abuse. I have dealt with both of those in recovery and I'm learning how to deal with me better today. Taking more pills only kept me trying to find a solution in the bottle when the problem was my thinking. Now that I'm working on my thinking - my depression and anxiety are SO much better!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,510
Hi and Welcome,
I was also someone who self-medicated anxiety/depression with alcohol. I had to get my depression properly treated before I could begin to recover, because I really didn't care enough otherwise.
Removing toxic people from your life is a really good idea. I had to do that too, and a surprising benefit of that was that a couple of amazing people appeared in my life shortly after.
You will find lots of support here!
I was also someone who self-medicated anxiety/depression with alcohol. I had to get my depression properly treated before I could begin to recover, because I really didn't care enough otherwise.
Removing toxic people from your life is a really good idea. I had to do that too, and a surprising benefit of that was that a couple of amazing people appeared in my life shortly after.
You will find lots of support here!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Presstoe - I find this place to be key to my recovery. It's great that you want to do something about your drinking. I understand the desire to still drink a few here and there, but I was never successful in being consistent with that. I was always planning/looking forward to, that next drink.
I take an anti-depressant because I've had periods of depression since college. Alcohol makes both depression and anxiety much, much worse, so just removing it from your life will probably help a great deal.
See ya around the forum......
I take an anti-depressant because I've had periods of depression since college. Alcohol makes both depression and anxiety much, much worse, so just removing it from your life will probably help a great deal.
See ya around the forum......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 102
Wow, thank you all for the posts. I've considered much of this already, for example I don't like pills- my mom was addicted to Xanax before her death. I have to be very wary. I had my own little moment with Vicodin, and I don't care what kind of pain I am ever in, I won't touch the stuff NEVER EVER!!! Thanks for sharing on that one Whiskers... I agree. I also understand the toxic people thing that Anna brought up. I was driving home from work this evening and I actually said to myself that the people in my life who were leading me down a bad path were "toxic", actually their whole family is toxic, the non drinking children they have who are in their 20's are just as dysfunctional without the booze, they make bad choices, have senseless drama in their lives, cheat on their significant others and hang around other toxic people because they don't seem to know anything different. I feel so bad for them, they pushed me away because I couldn't deal with them and I told them so. It's just sad.
On another note, one of the primary fears I had in joining this site was the fact that I still drink alcohol (that's why I didn't join before). I hear what Kjell is saying, but I know that there are people on here who are friends and families of alcoholics who are not in recovery and do drink. To begin a path of mindfulness I have to do some work, talk about my feelings, see where I'm at and the end of the road may mean that I stop drinking completely.
I'm not looking to be in the wrong place, I don't wan to offend anyone, but I'd be lying to say that I never drink. Am I really in the wrong place? Are there certain topic forums here specifically for zero tolerance abstinence and others for people like me? Someone on here is addicted to World of Warcraft, where does that fit in??? (joking...) Help me out here because I feel in my heart that I could benefit from this community because of how alcohol has affected my life, the lives of the people I care about and the changes I am trying to make.
Thanks so much for all of your replies!
On another note, one of the primary fears I had in joining this site was the fact that I still drink alcohol (that's why I didn't join before). I hear what Kjell is saying, but I know that there are people on here who are friends and families of alcoholics who are not in recovery and do drink. To begin a path of mindfulness I have to do some work, talk about my feelings, see where I'm at and the end of the road may mean that I stop drinking completely.
I'm not looking to be in the wrong place, I don't wan to offend anyone, but I'd be lying to say that I never drink. Am I really in the wrong place? Are there certain topic forums here specifically for zero tolerance abstinence and others for people like me? Someone on here is addicted to World of Warcraft, where does that fit in??? (joking...) Help me out here because I feel in my heart that I could benefit from this community because of how alcohol has affected my life, the lives of the people I care about and the changes I am trying to make.
Thanks so much for all of your replies!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
No, you don't have to quit drinking completely to be here, or to gain from other's experience. I was drinking when I first got here, too, though I quit the next day......
The only thing is that even having one drink is a no-no when you're an alcoholic. It because when we drink, we usually can't stop, so it's dangerous for us to even entertain the idea. So abstinence is pretty much the aim for us.
But people are welcome here if they know alcohol is a problem in their lives, whether they've stopped completely or not.
The only thing is that even having one drink is a no-no when you're an alcoholic. It because when we drink, we usually can't stop, so it's dangerous for us to even entertain the idea. So abstinence is pretty much the aim for us.
But people are welcome here if they know alcohol is a problem in their lives, whether they've stopped completely or not.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 715
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 102
Artsoul, yeah, you're right- actually signing up here was a big step, a big step that reads: "Maybe you shouldn't drink at all" Whether or not it's way out of control for me, it's just not fun when you know people who are killing themselves with booze and they're mean to you. It's really painful to watch, sometimes I lay in bed and cry about my friend as if he has already died because he's just never there anymore at all.
I'm going to check the Friends and Family area, thanks for the suggestion!
I'm going to check the Friends and Family area, thanks for the suggestion!
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Presstoe-
You are more than welcome to be on this recovery website. I, thank God, have no control over who is on here and who isn't.
I just wanted you to know what we're all about here.
Welcome to SR
Kjell
You are more than welcome to be on this recovery website. I, thank God, have no control over who is on here and who isn't.
I just wanted you to know what we're all about here.
Welcome to SR
Kjell
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Hi,
As someone who no longer drinks, but does take antidepressants for long-term depression and anxiety, I hope you don't equate vicodin and xanax with antidepressants. Clearly no drugs are to be taken lightly, but I'm one of many who owes my life to proper use of these drugs!
Welcome. I think SR is a good site for someone who is questioning their own drinking patterns. I learned tons while lurking about the progressive nature of alcoholism, the different ways that alcoholism manifests itself, and how people have come to grips with it in their own lives.
As someone who no longer drinks, but does take antidepressants for long-term depression and anxiety, I hope you don't equate vicodin and xanax with antidepressants. Clearly no drugs are to be taken lightly, but I'm one of many who owes my life to proper use of these drugs!
Welcome. I think SR is a good site for someone who is questioning their own drinking patterns. I learned tons while lurking about the progressive nature of alcoholism, the different ways that alcoholism manifests itself, and how people have come to grips with it in their own lives.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Island of Misfit Toys
Posts: 102
Hi Danae,
No, I don't lump benzos and narcotics in with SSRI's. I've been on and off antidepressants for 10 years now. One of the few that had the least amount of side effects was Cymbalta, but it messed me up mentally and physically in the long run and it's not good for the liver. Since I have been off it for 6 months I still have yet to have a solid bowel movement. When I initially tapered off I had horrible withdrawal, flashes and waves of electricity in my body, 10-15 bowel movements a day, anxiety, sweating...
When I see the doc I'm going to tell her, she's the same one I saw last year who prescribed it, she said I was doing well on it, but I felt like I was becoming manic, I made a lot of bad choices, lost one of my jobs and it seemed to make me invincible to alcohol. I got absolutely no hangovers no matter how much I drank and that just increased the frequency of drinking- there was no longer that sensible barrier that made me moderate.
I can't take that particular drug again. I do take Klonopin PRN, not very often for panic attacks, like maybe once a month I'll have one. I ultimately want to take a more holistic path, eat right, get the proper sleep, stop drinking, exercise and find a balance where I don't need any medication. I don't think my depression is so severe to the point where that would be impossible, but it would be work, lots more work than a pill and no vacations to la la land with pot and booze.
Thanks for introducing yourself, I can let you know what the doc says next week!
No, I don't lump benzos and narcotics in with SSRI's. I've been on and off antidepressants for 10 years now. One of the few that had the least amount of side effects was Cymbalta, but it messed me up mentally and physically in the long run and it's not good for the liver. Since I have been off it for 6 months I still have yet to have a solid bowel movement. When I initially tapered off I had horrible withdrawal, flashes and waves of electricity in my body, 10-15 bowel movements a day, anxiety, sweating...
When I see the doc I'm going to tell her, she's the same one I saw last year who prescribed it, she said I was doing well on it, but I felt like I was becoming manic, I made a lot of bad choices, lost one of my jobs and it seemed to make me invincible to alcohol. I got absolutely no hangovers no matter how much I drank and that just increased the frequency of drinking- there was no longer that sensible barrier that made me moderate.
I can't take that particular drug again. I do take Klonopin PRN, not very often for panic attacks, like maybe once a month I'll have one. I ultimately want to take a more holistic path, eat right, get the proper sleep, stop drinking, exercise and find a balance where I don't need any medication. I don't think my depression is so severe to the point where that would be impossible, but it would be work, lots more work than a pill and no vacations to la la land with pot and booze.
Thanks for introducing yourself, I can let you know what the doc says next week!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Hi Presstoe: I agree with the others who say welcome whether or not you plan to give up drinking completely. You're concerned about the drinking issue and that's enough. And no one's going to tell you to give up drinking. That's for you to decide. Going to the doctor and being honest and candid with her is a very good move. I assume you have lots of confidence in her skill and knowledge in dealing with any problems you may have. I found a lot of variety in the 40 or so years I was going to doctors and drinking. So it makes sense to be careful in that respect. Also, as others have said, it makes sense to steer clear of folks who are "toxic", whether in or out of your family.
Good luck and again welcome to SR. Let us know if we can be of any further help.
W.
Good luck and again welcome to SR. Let us know if we can be of any further help.
W.
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