they said i should introduce myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: south australia
Posts: 6
they said i should introduce myself
Hi people.
I just discovered this site today & thought I'd register. Maybe this site & its forums will help me. I'm not doing too well...
I've been drinking like mad for almost 7 years, after my life pretty much fell apart when I was hit by a car 10 years ago. At first it was a tool to help me get back to having a social life. It VERY quickly got out of control.
I've been through in-patient detox programs 3 times over the last 2 years, the most recent at the end of Nov last year. I've tried AA but found it anything but helpful.
I'm now in a loving relationship, I'm engaged to be married & have 3 beautiful soon-to-be step sons all under 10 years old who I love dearly.
But I've started slipping again. I don't know why. I'm craving a drink something fierce. I'm trying to be strong, but I feel like tearing out my hair. I'm really good at beating myself up for my failings & I consider this a massive one. I'm meant to be tougher than this.
I could really use someone to talk to who might understand & somehow be able to help.
I just discovered this site today & thought I'd register. Maybe this site & its forums will help me. I'm not doing too well...
I've been drinking like mad for almost 7 years, after my life pretty much fell apart when I was hit by a car 10 years ago. At first it was a tool to help me get back to having a social life. It VERY quickly got out of control.
I've been through in-patient detox programs 3 times over the last 2 years, the most recent at the end of Nov last year. I've tried AA but found it anything but helpful.
I'm now in a loving relationship, I'm engaged to be married & have 3 beautiful soon-to-be step sons all under 10 years old who I love dearly.
But I've started slipping again. I don't know why. I'm craving a drink something fierce. I'm trying to be strong, but I feel like tearing out my hair. I'm really good at beating myself up for my failings & I consider this a massive one. I'm meant to be tougher than this.
I could really use someone to talk to who might understand & somehow be able to help.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Dynamite - sorry to hear you're struggling but so glad you're reaching out for support..... this place has helped me stay sober for 10 months now.
Sometimes it doesn't take a reason to start drinking again. We only have to "forget" the pain it causes us and take recovery for granted..... It sounds like you have the tools to stay sober (since you've been to rehab), but you're not active in any kind of program. Am I reading that right?
Perhaps an addiction counselor or psychiatrist might be helpful, too.
We're here for you!:ghug3
Sometimes it doesn't take a reason to start drinking again. We only have to "forget" the pain it causes us and take recovery for granted..... It sounds like you have the tools to stay sober (since you've been to rehab), but you're not active in any kind of program. Am I reading that right?
Perhaps an addiction counselor or psychiatrist might be helpful, too.
We're here for you!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hi and welcome to sr.
Ok....so no AA...have you considered other programs like smart?
I work with a life coach and use SR for support...I have 8 very happy. And solid months after years of failed attempts. I hope something here will give you what you need
Ok....so no AA...have you considered other programs like smart?
I work with a life coach and use SR for support...I have 8 very happy. And solid months after years of failed attempts. I hope something here will give you what you need
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: south australia
Posts: 6
i'm now in a 12 week goal-oriented counselling program, once a week with 2 drug/alcohol workers. i just started last week. i'm not sure it'll help, but no amount of support is too much as far as i'm concerned.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
Welcome Dynamite! If AA is off the table...there is NA, Smart, Counseling...also there's people like me just use SR. LF's suggestion of a life coach is intriguing. Point is find a support network.
SR has a chat and there are frequently people in it, although with you bein in Australia, I know a lot of the times MAY not fit your schedule depending on what you got going on. Point is - Consider checking that out if you are looking for people to talk to. Or...just post on active threads. Some of em get goin pretty good.
Good luck and keep us posted.
* Edit - didn't see your last before I posted, but a lot still applies.
SR has a chat and there are frequently people in it, although with you bein in Australia, I know a lot of the times MAY not fit your schedule depending on what you got going on. Point is - Consider checking that out if you are looking for people to talk to. Or...just post on active threads. Some of em get goin pretty good.
Good luck and keep us posted.
* Edit - didn't see your last before I posted, but a lot still applies.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Central New Jersey
Posts: 12
Hi and welcome DG,
Despite having failed before does not mean that you will not succeed. This is a wonderful Site where you will find new friends from around the globe that will be here to support you.
Despite having failed before does not mean that you will not succeed. This is a wonderful Site where you will find new friends from around the globe that will be here to support you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hi there! Congratulations on your engagement and Im sure this will only help you in your recovery.
As for AA, try going to different meetings before u dismiss it out of hand. Eventually u will meet people at a meeting that u click with. I had the same issues when I started going.
If that doesnt work, try alanon or smart recovery.
If neither of these work, pray
As for AA, try going to different meetings before u dismiss it out of hand. Eventually u will meet people at a meeting that u click with. I had the same issues when I started going.
If that doesnt work, try alanon or smart recovery.
If neither of these work, pray
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by DynamiteGrrl 
I could really use someone to talk to who might understand & somehow be able to help.
Welcome Dyna Girl,
There's some folks here from your part of the world. I work nights, so the time difference for everyone East works out great for me !
I went back to my very first post; last April, ......and wanted to share what Least wrote to me that night;
.........Welcome to the family of SR! So glad you joined us. Congrats on deciding to stop drinking. Stopping now means eliminating that huge pile of risk from drinking. All the bad things that can happen WON'T happen if you stop now. Are you doing anything else for support in your sobriety? There are many programs and methods out there for staying sober, this site included.
I wish you well. Sobriety rocks!
Somehow, it was exactly what I really needed to hear that evening. I would think about every aspect of what she meant that first couple of weeks. Couldn't wait to get back here to read posts everyday too !?!
Hope you'll find what I've found here.
take care,
unlearning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: russia
Posts: 343
Hi Dyna, and welcome.
We are virtual strangers, so I may be way off base here, hope soon to be virtual friends.
I just thought reading your post, engaged? yup, I'd be stressing too, but feeling guilty about stressing, if thats what I thought I was stressing about.
You're commited to a change in life, that's always stressful.
Hope I didn't offend, just a thought.
We are virtual strangers, so I may be way off base here, hope soon to be virtual friends.
I just thought reading your post, engaged? yup, I'd be stressing too, but feeling guilty about stressing, if thats what I thought I was stressing about.
You're commited to a change in life, that's always stressful.
Hope I didn't offend, just a thought.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hi DynamiteGrrl, welcome! In your post you wrote, "I'm really good at beating myself up for my failings & I consider this a massive one." I used to feel the same way. For me, it helped me to understand alcoholism better in order to realize that this wasn't a failing, it was an addiction, something governed not by my conscious brain but the less developed parts of it. And it also helped me to get out of a cycle of beating myself up in general because that's what led me to do things that were bad for me even knowing they were bad. For me the only solution was to quit entirely and work on repairing my sense of self-worth. Glad you're here!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: south australia
Posts: 6
Thanku to all of u for your messages.
I spent a bit of time in the chat room yesterday & managed to get through a massive craving without going to the bottle shop. Talking to some of the SF people helped.
After 9hrs it finally went away & I went to bed with a smile on my face & a little sense of pride for my small victory.
My partner told me a story last night that I really enjoyed. Maybe you will too -
In a very poor community in Mexico, five poor families together own a donkey. The donkey is very important to them. Without it it's much harder for them to earn any money, or to transport their goods to market, or work their fields.
One day when it's very hot & their well has dried up, the donkey wanders off looking for water. But it slips and falls down 5m, deep into the dry well. The donkey isn't hurt, but stuck in the bottom of the well.
The families talk a long time about how to get the donkey out. They need their donkey & are very poor, but after long & hard debate they decide they can't help him so they will bury him in the well & somehow try to get another donkey.
So with shovels the families start to shovel dirt into the well to bury the donkey.
The first shovel-full of dirt lands on his back. He shakes it off and tramples it underfoot. Another shovel-full of dirt lands on his back. He shakes it off and tramples it underfoot.
The dirt keeps coming, and every time the donkey shakes it off his back and tramples it underfoot. As the families keep shovelling in dirt, the donkey keeps trampling it underfoot until...
The well is almost full of dirt and the donkey has trampled down more than 4m of dirt until he's almost at the top, and exhausted as he is, he climbs out.
I'm not a great story teller, but I loved this one. Maybe you will too, because no matter how much dirt is shovelled on top of us, we can trample it under our feet and raise ourselves to the light & crawl out of the hole we've fallen into.
Have courage friends.
Xx
I spent a bit of time in the chat room yesterday & managed to get through a massive craving without going to the bottle shop. Talking to some of the SF people helped.
After 9hrs it finally went away & I went to bed with a smile on my face & a little sense of pride for my small victory.
My partner told me a story last night that I really enjoyed. Maybe you will too -
In a very poor community in Mexico, five poor families together own a donkey. The donkey is very important to them. Without it it's much harder for them to earn any money, or to transport their goods to market, or work their fields.
One day when it's very hot & their well has dried up, the donkey wanders off looking for water. But it slips and falls down 5m, deep into the dry well. The donkey isn't hurt, but stuck in the bottom of the well.
The families talk a long time about how to get the donkey out. They need their donkey & are very poor, but after long & hard debate they decide they can't help him so they will bury him in the well & somehow try to get another donkey.
So with shovels the families start to shovel dirt into the well to bury the donkey.
The first shovel-full of dirt lands on his back. He shakes it off and tramples it underfoot. Another shovel-full of dirt lands on his back. He shakes it off and tramples it underfoot.
The dirt keeps coming, and every time the donkey shakes it off his back and tramples it underfoot. As the families keep shovelling in dirt, the donkey keeps trampling it underfoot until...
The well is almost full of dirt and the donkey has trampled down more than 4m of dirt until he's almost at the top, and exhausted as he is, he climbs out.
I'm not a great story teller, but I loved this one. Maybe you will too, because no matter how much dirt is shovelled on top of us, we can trample it under our feet and raise ourselves to the light & crawl out of the hole we've fallen into.
Have courage friends.
Xx
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