Six Months + One Day for Eliot
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 22
Six Months + One Day for Eliot
Haven't had a drink since Labor Day last fall.
I'm from Milwaukee but the day before Labor Day was visiting a friend in Madison, WI (Kill the bill?) My friend and I drank, went out & about like usual. The next morning, which was Labor Day, I was sitting on his couch, drinking Brandy and reading; it wasn't noon - waiting for my friend to wake up.
On my way home back to Milwaukee, I had some car trouble and needed a tow. (From Horicon, for anyone who happens to be local!) At the exact same time, my grandmother was moving into a nursing home (I'm 28).
Lots going on.
I don't come from a real strong family, but began visiting grandma almost daily after work.
Anyway. Like all stories, there's obviously so much more to this, but, I was able to draw confidence from the fact that I was being the "good grandson," which helped me to string a few days together sober. At which point, I had a double-dose of confidence. I drew on being the good grandson - while also privately drawing on the days-of-sobriety counter as it kept counting up.
So to the very small outside world that was in tune, it was akin to: "Look at Eliot, such a nice person to visit Grandma." And no one but I knew that also, I was secretly not drinking - taking advantage of the situation with grandma to fill my time away from the bottle - it was exactly what I needed.
So, 6M+1D later, my friends know I do not drink. I've gone through most of the "rough" drinking holiday-type events just fine. In these parts, that'd be fall kickball league, my birthday, Halloween, Christmas season parties, New Year's to name a few. Not to mention now, 26 weekends sober.
A side note: most of you will understand right away when I say that I have not told my immediate family (Dad, brother - no wife/kids of my own). I haven't told them for two reasons. One of which of course because I don't want to get labeled forever. (Ya ya, I know - I know, let's just keep moving. Ha.) But the second reason is, I am quietly loving this "I have a secret" feeling I harbor. Along the lines of, "I haven't drank in six months - but I did it for me, so I didn't mention it." Right, wrong or indifferent - I am admittitedly looking forward to the "Wow...WOW...WOW REALLY?!" response this will illicit.
At times together, my brother's offerend me a drink in the past six months, which I turned down casually. He hasn't thought to ask directly. Neither has my father. If they ask, I will tell them the truth. I'll certainly not lie to keep my sobriety to myself, if that makes sense. But until they desire/think to ask me, I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing, namely: "Oh, no thanks, I'm not in the mood for a glass of wine, water's fine," while very midlly smirking to myself because only I know how powerful this seemingly small moment has been. It's not me simply passing up a beer that one time, but rather, holding the line on a run of sobriety that has now become almost three-times longer than my previous "record."
I began drinking when I was 16.
Went away to college when I was 18.
Got my first drunk-driving when I was 20.
Got my second drunk-driving when I was 23, thus, stopped drinking for 2.5 months and immediately saw a powerful transformation toward the good.
Went back to drinking. Graduated college. Fell into a career. Kept drinking. Blah blah blah. Functioning alcoholic. Rotating liquor stores where I buy from out of shame for seeing the same clerk over and over. Sneaking bottles out to the trash. Drunk, drunk, drunk. All of the experiences that most all of you are so famaliar with - YUCK!
Admitted to best friend that I was an "alcoholic" when I was 26.
Took my last drink when I was 27.
I turned 28 two weeks later; I am 28 now.
I spent approx. ten years of my life layering on incident after incident of all the corrosive, painful - not to mention expensive - consequences of drinking.
I've spent approx one half year of my life enjoying the confidence and general resolve of character that comes with sobriety. As I repeatedly say to my close friends who are fully informed as to my evolution - for the first time in a long, long time, I have a fully clean conscience. Imagine that! Guilt? Shame? Maybe back when I was drinking - but not with sobriety!
Yours with a deliberate disregard for spell-check,
Eliot.
PS I intended on making this very short. But, as any of my earlier posts may fortell, brevity is not one of Eliot's strong suites. (Ringing the firebell though, is.)
PSS I found the confidence to quit my job and go off anti-anxiety medication that I was taking mostly because of my job. Sober, I can quit my job. Clean conscience, right!? Love it!
I'm from Milwaukee but the day before Labor Day was visiting a friend in Madison, WI (Kill the bill?) My friend and I drank, went out & about like usual. The next morning, which was Labor Day, I was sitting on his couch, drinking Brandy and reading; it wasn't noon - waiting for my friend to wake up.
On my way home back to Milwaukee, I had some car trouble and needed a tow. (From Horicon, for anyone who happens to be local!) At the exact same time, my grandmother was moving into a nursing home (I'm 28).
Lots going on.
I don't come from a real strong family, but began visiting grandma almost daily after work.
Anyway. Like all stories, there's obviously so much more to this, but, I was able to draw confidence from the fact that I was being the "good grandson," which helped me to string a few days together sober. At which point, I had a double-dose of confidence. I drew on being the good grandson - while also privately drawing on the days-of-sobriety counter as it kept counting up.
So to the very small outside world that was in tune, it was akin to: "Look at Eliot, such a nice person to visit Grandma." And no one but I knew that also, I was secretly not drinking - taking advantage of the situation with grandma to fill my time away from the bottle - it was exactly what I needed.
So, 6M+1D later, my friends know I do not drink. I've gone through most of the "rough" drinking holiday-type events just fine. In these parts, that'd be fall kickball league, my birthday, Halloween, Christmas season parties, New Year's to name a few. Not to mention now, 26 weekends sober.
A side note: most of you will understand right away when I say that I have not told my immediate family (Dad, brother - no wife/kids of my own). I haven't told them for two reasons. One of which of course because I don't want to get labeled forever. (Ya ya, I know - I know, let's just keep moving. Ha.) But the second reason is, I am quietly loving this "I have a secret" feeling I harbor. Along the lines of, "I haven't drank in six months - but I did it for me, so I didn't mention it." Right, wrong or indifferent - I am admittitedly looking forward to the "Wow...WOW...WOW REALLY?!" response this will illicit.
At times together, my brother's offerend me a drink in the past six months, which I turned down casually. He hasn't thought to ask directly. Neither has my father. If they ask, I will tell them the truth. I'll certainly not lie to keep my sobriety to myself, if that makes sense. But until they desire/think to ask me, I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing, namely: "Oh, no thanks, I'm not in the mood for a glass of wine, water's fine," while very midlly smirking to myself because only I know how powerful this seemingly small moment has been. It's not me simply passing up a beer that one time, but rather, holding the line on a run of sobriety that has now become almost three-times longer than my previous "record."
I began drinking when I was 16.
Went away to college when I was 18.
Got my first drunk-driving when I was 20.
Got my second drunk-driving when I was 23, thus, stopped drinking for 2.5 months and immediately saw a powerful transformation toward the good.
Went back to drinking. Graduated college. Fell into a career. Kept drinking. Blah blah blah. Functioning alcoholic. Rotating liquor stores where I buy from out of shame for seeing the same clerk over and over. Sneaking bottles out to the trash. Drunk, drunk, drunk. All of the experiences that most all of you are so famaliar with - YUCK!
Admitted to best friend that I was an "alcoholic" when I was 26.
Took my last drink when I was 27.
I turned 28 two weeks later; I am 28 now.
I spent approx. ten years of my life layering on incident after incident of all the corrosive, painful - not to mention expensive - consequences of drinking.
I've spent approx one half year of my life enjoying the confidence and general resolve of character that comes with sobriety. As I repeatedly say to my close friends who are fully informed as to my evolution - for the first time in a long, long time, I have a fully clean conscience. Imagine that! Guilt? Shame? Maybe back when I was drinking - but not with sobriety!
Yours with a deliberate disregard for spell-check,
Eliot.
PS I intended on making this very short. But, as any of my earlier posts may fortell, brevity is not one of Eliot's strong suites. (Ringing the firebell though, is.)
PSS I found the confidence to quit my job and go off anti-anxiety medication that I was taking mostly because of my job. Sober, I can quit my job. Clean conscience, right!? Love it!
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