NEJeeper

So I have had 14 months sober and have been doing really well. I have been getting perfect grades at college and dropped 30 pounds and run/bike/swim and lift weights. I am in great shape and look and feel a lot better. I graduate in May with a BS and will be going to Grad school in the fall. I kicked ass at the GRE's and stuff. I should be feeling awesome right now.

But I think somewhere along the way I screwed myself up. I partied(mostly alcohol and pot) pretty hard from 15 through 24 years old. I feel emotionally ********. I was in a few long term relationships but I had bad taste in women at the time. I have that issue with being a nice guy more recently and have been taken advantage of. I have been single for 9 months or so and I feel like I am 15 again. Everything is awkward as hell and I am stressed I will get rejected. I have a problem letting women in. I mean I never really even dated as a sober person, it is a new experience to me.

On top of all this my bottom was a DUI which resulted in me losing my license for a while, I don't get it back for like a year. In spite of that handicap I am kicking ass at school and my job, still have a car and motorcycle I can't use. I just kind of feel like a piece of **** right now not being able to seriously approach this girl, I never had this problem before.

What have you folks done while getting back into dating? This is so weird to me now, I feel really awkward and anxious about the whole thing. But I have been single for so long now I'm pretty lonely. I just go to school and work and occasionally hang out with some of the guy friends I have since I don't associate with a lot of them since I quit drinking.

NEJeeper

Well that was helpful.

Ghostly

Congrats on the sober time and all the success you've been having!

I have absolutley no advice on dating or new relationships though. Good luck.

GodsHolyWill

Hi NEJeeper! Congratulations on 14 months sober! You have so much to be proud of and you're an inspiration! I wish I could give you some dating advice, but I haven't dated in years. I hope for every good thing for you, stay on the wonderful path!

CarolD

You are making such awesome progress ...

I don't have a clue about dating from a mans point of view
hope some of our guy members will...

mtnmagic

Jeeper - Want to welcome you and congratulate you on the changes you have made in your life and your success. My youngest son is graduating this June with a BS and plans to go to Grad school too. I hope you are very, very proud of yourself. What is your major and are you going for your Master's or shooting directly towards a PHD?

Advice or suggestions on the dating, I can't help you there. Don't be discouraged though. The forum here can be pretty slow on the weekends,
I have noticed. Just hang on, and I know others will be around to give you suggestions. Please keep posting! Would enjoy getting to know you better.

Just reread your post. Hey, not sure where you go to school, but my son is a student at UC Santa Barbara in CA. Many, many of his buddies don't have cars and plenty of them get around by bus and bicycle. Sure doesn't seem to stop any of them to go out on dates. Just maybe you are putting too much emphasis on transportation, because of what happened to you (the DUI) and it really isn't the big deal you are making it. College is expensive and trying to save money by not driving is a very common thing IMHO. Hope this helps a bit.

AmericanGirl

Hi jeeper. Congrats on all your awesome progress over the past 14 months. It really sounds like you've accomplished a lot.

After reading your post carefully I think it would be best if you tried making some non-romantic, non-sexual friendships with women first. That way you can get to know a woman as a person first before thinking about facing rejection or whether or not she will take advantage of you.

Good luck!