First AA meeting and v scared!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
One more thought, NewStart....you said earlier that you felt the person you talked to before on the AA hotline wasn't that helpful. Maybe call back and be honest...I imagine it's a rotating roster of volunteers.
Heck I'd offer to go with you if it wasn't a 1,700 mile drive followed by a 2,000 mile swim, LOL.
Heck I'd offer to go with you if it wasn't a 1,700 mile drive followed by a 2,000 mile swim, LOL.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 38
Thanks Steve I'll pay for your flight lol
I'm beginning to feel abit better about it now, esp as I've been able to 'share' it - its been driving me mad all day.
I've just checked and theres one on Monday night for beginners - its abit of a drive away but the building is a hall so I'm liking the sound of that.
If someone had been sat on a bench nearby I bet they thought I was a crazy person - I certaintly felt like one!
I'm beginning to feel abit better about it now, esp as I've been able to 'share' it - its been driving me mad all day.
I've just checked and theres one on Monday night for beginners - its abit of a drive away but the building is a hall so I'm liking the sound of that.
If someone had been sat on a bench nearby I bet they thought I was a crazy person - I certaintly felt like one!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
If you can't get to a meeting before Monday, definitely go to that one! Really it's not scary and people will understand. It won't be like you're the first person to get to a meeting, then bail out at the last moment.
Hey we're all crazy people, it's why we're here.
Hey we're all crazy people, it's why we're here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 252
Hi Newstart,
I'm a bit surpirsed the folks on the other end of the AA hotline weren't more helpful. I know most of the folks who have handled the hotline for my area and they would have made a big effort to find somebody to attend that first meeting with you.
As Stevie asked, did you explain that it was your first meeting, that you had some anxiety about attending, and that you would like to go in with someone?
And Lexie is right, think of it as a dry run.
I too am very shy and dreaded my first meeting but you'll come to find out very quickly that you will be welcomed as a newcomer.
I'm a bit surpirsed the folks on the other end of the AA hotline weren't more helpful. I know most of the folks who have handled the hotline for my area and they would have made a big effort to find somebody to attend that first meeting with you.
As Stevie asked, did you explain that it was your first meeting, that you had some anxiety about attending, and that you would like to go in with someone?
And Lexie is right, think of it as a dry run.
I too am very shy and dreaded my first meeting but you'll come to find out very quickly that you will be welcomed as a newcomer.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 426
I did just about the exact same thing 3 weeks ago. The first night that I tried, I spent hours at home working up the nerve, left the house plenty early, and made it up to the door before doing an elaborate pump fake and scurrying away. The next night I tried again - same meeting, same routine, and this time I made it all the way up to the door, hand on the knob, ready to do it. A bunch of other folks were approaching from the sidewalk and as they got closer, I panicked and mindlessly just tore out of there and took refuge in the organic food co-op next door. If it weren't so sad it'd have been hilarious. The next week I went again, this time a clear 30 minutes early, and did laps around the surrounding blocks to settle my nerves. When it neared the time to go inside and I sort of just loitered for awhile out front near the smokers, not sure if I was going to bolt or make it in this time. When the smokers headed in, I took a deep breath, stopped thinking, and just walked in behind them. Most inviting bunch of people ever, and completely understanding of my awkwardness.
Keep going. It might take a couple of tries, but eventually you'll get over the threshold. Amazing how paralyzing the fear can seem when you're standing on the outside.
Keep going. It might take a couple of tries, but eventually you'll get over the threshold. Amazing how paralyzing the fear can seem when you're standing on the outside.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Why not ask your best friend to go with you?
I went to my first with an ex lover....
You won't have to drive alone and you could have
a companion for dinner out....
I went to my first with an ex lover....
You won't have to drive alone and you could have
a companion for dinner out....
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Hi Newstart-
You're not the first person, nor will you be the last who showed up, but didn't go in.
Take it easy on yourself. Relax.
It's simply a room full of people, just like you, who have a problem with alcohol/drugs and will welcome you in with open and understanding arms.
There is a solution to your alcoholism/addiction right there in that room and it's free of charge.
Kjell
You're not the first person, nor will you be the last who showed up, but didn't go in.
Take it easy on yourself. Relax.
It's simply a room full of people, just like you, who have a problem with alcohol/drugs and will welcome you in with open and understanding arms.
There is a solution to your alcoholism/addiction right there in that room and it's free of charge.
Kjell
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by NewStart11 
Are you allowed to take people to meetings with you?
Closed meetings are for alkies/addicts only.
Kjell
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 10
Don't feel bad - I had a couple dry runs before I actually summoned the courage to walk in to my first meeting. I'm lucky to have several meetings in my area on different days of the week. So I found one that the vibe felt right for me. They were all very welcoming though. I need to get back in there!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 38
Ok people Im going to a meeting today - and will walk in! Ive found one that is in a church hall so I feel better about going to a bigger one than a small one. Just hope I find it ok.
Anyway the reason for putting this on is cos I know if I dont go then again Ill have to admit it on here. Its a 'reflection' one and I have no idea what that means. I will let you guys know how it goes.
Anyway the reason for putting this on is cos I know if I dont go then again Ill have to admit it on here. Its a 'reflection' one and I have no idea what that means. I will let you guys know how it goes.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I suspect it is a meeting based on the use of the AA book, "Daily Reflections," which is a book of daily short meditations and inspirational thoughts.
I doubt that it will be a "typical" AA meeting. I am not trying to discourage you from going, but I think as a newcomer you would benefit most from an open speaker or discussion meeting. Those are the ones that will give you the best "flavor" of what AA is about.
What I suggest you do is to go, but to be sure to let the people at the meeting know that you are new and ask them for recommendations about what meetings are best for newcomers.
I doubt that it will be a "typical" AA meeting. I am not trying to discourage you from going, but I think as a newcomer you would benefit most from an open speaker or discussion meeting. Those are the ones that will give you the best "flavor" of what AA is about.
What I suggest you do is to go, but to be sure to let the people at the meeting know that you are new and ask them for recommendations about what meetings are best for newcomers.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 38
Thanks Lexie think that would have been best as yet again it didnt go to plan - but i did go!
Got lost therefore went in late so missed the beginning so couldn't approach anybody. from what i could gather, someone spoke who was sat at the table as everyone kept thanking her when they spoke.
It was very interesting and a relief to hear people speak about their sobriety. I could relate to some of what was said when they spoke about the early days. The problem came at the end when someone at the table said the meeting was over and everyone started to get up and go in a circle. I didn't know what to do so left which I feel bad about but I didnt know what I was meant to do or say. Therefore I was unable to speak to anyone from the meeting - but the positive is I went and I will go to another one now - just need to figure out the ending bit!
Just want to say anyone who is thinking of going to one to see what its like - I would say go and try it. Everyone who posted above saying it would be ok are right - it was fine and it felt really good going. it might not be for everyone but it can't do any harm to see what its all about.
Thanks again for the posts about this!
Got lost therefore went in late so missed the beginning so couldn't approach anybody. from what i could gather, someone spoke who was sat at the table as everyone kept thanking her when they spoke.
It was very interesting and a relief to hear people speak about their sobriety. I could relate to some of what was said when they spoke about the early days. The problem came at the end when someone at the table said the meeting was over and everyone started to get up and go in a circle. I didn't know what to do so left which I feel bad about but I didnt know what I was meant to do or say. Therefore I was unable to speak to anyone from the meeting - but the positive is I went and I will go to another one now - just need to figure out the ending bit!
Just want to say anyone who is thinking of going to one to see what its like - I would say go and try it. Everyone who posted above saying it would be ok are right - it was fine and it felt really good going. it might not be for everyone but it can't do any harm to see what its all about.
Thanks again for the posts about this!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Great, I'm glad you went!
Now that you've made the hurdle of walking in and finding you aren't gonna be eaten up, I suggest you try some other meetings. Each meeting type and individual group is a tiny bit different.
Now that you've made the hurdle of walking in and finding you aren't gonna be eaten up
, I suggest you try some other meetings. Each meeting type and individual group is a tiny bit different.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
