JTele

I'll start by saying that I've been sober for 30 days now after drinking rather heavily for about 22 years. By "rather heavily" I mean that my regular routine of drinking included about a four to eight beers every day while missing a day or two on occasion. In addition, I've been known to binge perhaps once, maybe twice a month, but never into complete blackout. On the other hand, I've always had very little difficulty holding myself to having one or two drinks at certain social events while sometimes abstaining altogether. Also, my drinking has never caused for me to become involved in any issues with the law, my friends, my job, or my family other than occasional concerns experessed by my wife. I guess you could say that I was functioning quite well for that entire 22 years.

It wasn't until one dreadful morning when I awoke with terrible panic attacks (never had them before) that I decided to quit drinking once and for all. I knew it was due to drinking, and I just knew that I had to put an end to it before it became worse. These attacks continued on while prompting me to find some information on the internet which eventually led me to SR. Long story short, the day I quit drinking was the day I made the decision to absolutely and positively quit forever no matter what. I made it my mission in life!

With that said, the last 30 days has been complete chaos and turmoil mixed with a joyful sense of sobriety that I haven't experiened in years. Other than enduring about three weeks of pure hell from withdrawal, I have yet to have any temptation to have a drink. In fact, I've become rather repulsed by the idea.

So, my question is this: am I an alcoholic? just a heavy drinker? or a problem drinker? The reason I ask is because SR has provided me with a ton of information - I thank you for that - and on occasion I've been questioned as to whether or not I am truly able to maintain my quest and convictions for sobriety without having any outside help. While I have no doubt in my mind that many of you have had far more serious problems with alcohol than I have, just the fact that alcohol has given me some serious health issues was enough for me to make the decision to quit. While I'm certainly not saying that it's been easy or that the game is over by any means, I sincerely feel that all I really need in order to reach my lifelong goal of sobriety is to think about my future with my wife, kids, and grandkids, and this isn't to mention the constant reminders of how horrible I felt during early withdrawal. The bottom line is this: I've simply made the decision to remove this rotten and poisonous aspect of my life because I know deep inside that it's been literally killing me. I prefer the alternative.

Sorry for the long post, I didn't mean to do that. And, thanks everybody! SR is truly a wonderful place! I honestly can't express this enough!

Onewithwings

You may not be alcoholic by that description (although only you can say for sure) but your drinking is causing problems and it's wise to stay away if it is causing you issues.

ETA: There are a few other non-alcoholic, non-addict people who use this site for support in their endeavors to quit drinking/using. Nothing wrong with that, just be aware that you may not relate to everything written here.

JTele

Well, if I put in another way, I came here thinking that I was indeed an alcoholic. Upon viewing many of the threads here, though, I've quickly come to realize that there's a rather large number of folks here who have seriously hard-core alcohol problems, and I most certainly understand why so many seek out help in programs such as AA and others. I can only applaud them for taking whatever means is necessary to obtain sobriety. In the end, whether or not I agree with others really isn't at all as important as it is to become sober.

least

I wouldn't worry about the label of alcoholic or whatever. I'd just be glad to have stopped drinking before anything really awful happened.

sailorjohn

Call it "Bob" if it makes you feel better, but I think you've already answered your question.

Btw, I've always found labels very useful in my life, nice to look in the fridge and find that there are labels on the contents within, makes life so much easier.

JTele

Yeah, I agree! Labels are simply that: labels. It's just sort of strange when I tell friends that I've quit drinking only to get the response: why? I just tell them that it isn't agreeing with me any longer.....LOL. In my heart I know I have a problem, and that's probably all that really matters.

Mark75

Exactly....

You can't base whether you are alcoholic based on external events, consequences... Those are dependent on your situation, behavior, etc... I was always well behaved, well, mostly

If you think there is a problem, there is. If your problems go away when you quit drinking... there you go! Stop drinking.

Play your Telecaster instead.

bellakeller

[QUOTE=JTele;2885910 there's a rather large number of folks here who have seriously hard-core alcohol problems, and I most certainly understand why so many seek out help in programs such as AA and others. .[/QUOTE]

You probably just don't read about the vast number of us for whom drinking had little consequences in the relative scheme of things. My bottom hasn't the element of drama some others do. Example; I didn't have the withdrawals you seem to have suffered. My own drinking horror could easily be another drunk's idea of a walk in the park but for me it was just as painful as any other's bottom. That's why I looked for change and when I found I couldn't keep sober on my own, I made more changes and now have a program of recovery to rely on, which happens to be AA.

Best of luck to you!

doggonecarl

I don't know what you are, but what you AREN'T is a normal drinker. By "normal" I mean someone who doesn't exceed the medically recommended daily intake, who suffers no consequences from their drinking. Someone who doesn't come to recovery forums and ask if they are alcoholic or just a problem drinker.

Looking for a way to lessen the problem, or the description of the problem (label) is just your alcoholic mind looking for a way to let the addiction, and the alcohol, back into your life.

JTele

Well, even if I label it as "Bob" (thanks, sailorjohn), I honestly don't believe I have any other choice but to remain sober.

Inafishbowl

I felt the same way. No consequences, functioning well. Even NOT drinking most days. But my heart was telling me something was wrong. The universe was sending me signs (the deaths of my mom and husband due to alcohol) and I chose not to listen. On the Richter scale of alcoholism, I had to be thrown from a 5 to a 10 in a matter of about 3 hours. I wish I listened to my heart in the first place. I think the ones who quit for good simply because their heart is telling them to stop, are remarkably lucky.

Rickie

The fact you made it here bro, probably means you are. This forum is a godsend. Stay safe.

Raindance

Even if i'm not, I don't ever want to be, so i'm going to quit before I find out just how bad it can get.

Rickie

You know what's coming man. So I think you're thinking is pretty spot on!

Damage limitation

R

LaFemme

I fall into the camp of people who don't care about the label. I am probably an alcoholic, but by even debating the question I open the door to drinking again, so I don't even go there.

Instead, I am someone who does not drink. The end

PaperDolls

The only requirement for AA is a desire to quit drinking.

Are you an alcoholic? I can't say, only you can.

For me, when my 'brain' would tell me I'm not really an alkie, I'm just a problem drinker etc. etc ..... I know now that was my disease talking. That's just me.

Glad you found us!!

JTele

First, thanks everyone for your replies! It's really appreciated! Secondly, I placed some emphasis in my post on labels without carefully thinking about it, but it's really neither here nor there. It just isn't all that important. I came to SR while thinking I was an alcoholic, and I will continue to believe I am. It's actually been the responses of friends and acquaintances within the last 30 sober days who've made me wonder, for they've never known me to be a heavy drinker. I probably hid it quite well. The fact is, drinking has had a profoundly adverse effect on me in recent weeks, and I clearly needed to come to the conclusion that I could no longer drink. Period! So, here I am....30 days without a drink and counting! I just refuse to go back to those drinking days under any circumstances.

dbearw

Being an alcoholic (in recovery) isn't so bad!!

Zube

JTel-

"So, my question is this: am I an alcoholic? just a heavy drinker? or a problem drinker?"

Sounds to me like you're an alcoholic with a heavy drinking problem.

Welcome to SR!
Zube

JTele

Ok, ok, ok.....LOL.....can we forget about the labels now?......