Tapering off to avoid the DTs?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: France
Posts: 58
Tapering off to avoid the DTs?
Hi all,
This is my first post and would like to thank everyone - finding this (and another site, more later) has been a real help in keeping me sane for the last two days.
I have known for a while now that I needed to stop drinking. I'm 32 and have had a problem since about age 16, when I had my first period drinking daily. I stopped and things started going well, after a while I said to myself I am better now, I can control it. Same story once again, then again. At 21 I got married and spent the next 4 years sober. Then I moved to France... and decided to get some dutyfree - there is so much beautiful wine here I can't miss out I said, and surely now at 25 I can control it. After all, I've grown out of it. 7 years later, separated, I have finally realised that no matter how much I try and fool myself, I will *never* be able to control it. It went ok for the first couple of years, but since then it has gone from once or twice a week to 7/7. BTW, thanks for your sticky Dee74!
Last year I had a month off and had a pretty hard time (no sleep, hands shaking, temper all over the place, etc.) but I got scared this time. I went to my doctor last week to get help and he hooked me up with some support clinics - the first one I couldn't get an appointment till 12th April, so I called him back and managed to get an appointment elsewhere for 7th March (next Monday!). He told me with what I was drinking I should just reduce until stopping - going cold turkey could be dangerous.
Then the weekend happened.
I crashed bad and on Monday couldn't get out of bed. I got up on Tuesday after only getting a couple of hours sleep and started to panic. I had to stop RIGHT NOW. I didn't want to risk the DTs though... I went back to my doctor and he put me on sick leave. I was still panicing though - I HAD to stop but couldn't. Then I went home and started searching the internet - my doctor wasn't impressed but wasn't against what I came up with. I came across a site (+ this one) that has kept me sane for the last two days (can't post link - google "hamsnetwork How To Taper Off Alcohol"). I was terribly scared that once I start drinking, I simply can't stop. Once the buzz hits something switches off and I lose control. However, if I drink at a rate slightly less than my extraction rate (need to check this with a doctor), there will be alcohol in my blood, and that will reduce the risk of serious withdrawal - after all, I haven't actually "stopped" but no buzz so no loss of control. Obviously a detox clinic is the optimal solution but as mentioned in many places, getting that on your health record can be a big problem.
I have been "sober" now for 4 days, and am now calm enough to hopefully see me through until Monday, when I get to see an addiction professional who can really help me. I know the road ahead will be long and difficult but at least this is the last time!
Anyway, I just thought I'd share my experience (panic) and see whether anyone else has tried this.
This is definitely NOT medical advice, and anyone thinking of this needs to talk to their doctor BEFOREHAND.
This is my first post and would like to thank everyone - finding this (and another site, more later) has been a real help in keeping me sane for the last two days.
I have known for a while now that I needed to stop drinking. I'm 32 and have had a problem since about age 16, when I had my first period drinking daily. I stopped and things started going well, after a while I said to myself I am better now, I can control it. Same story once again, then again. At 21 I got married and spent the next 4 years sober. Then I moved to France... and decided to get some dutyfree - there is so much beautiful wine here I can't miss out I said, and surely now at 25 I can control it. After all, I've grown out of it. 7 years later, separated, I have finally realised that no matter how much I try and fool myself, I will *never* be able to control it. It went ok for the first couple of years, but since then it has gone from once or twice a week to 7/7. BTW, thanks for your sticky Dee74!
Last year I had a month off and had a pretty hard time (no sleep, hands shaking, temper all over the place, etc.) but I got scared this time. I went to my doctor last week to get help and he hooked me up with some support clinics - the first one I couldn't get an appointment till 12th April, so I called him back and managed to get an appointment elsewhere for 7th March (next Monday!). He told me with what I was drinking I should just reduce until stopping - going cold turkey could be dangerous.
Then the weekend happened.
I crashed bad and on Monday couldn't get out of bed. I got up on Tuesday after only getting a couple of hours sleep and started to panic. I had to stop RIGHT NOW. I didn't want to risk the DTs though... I went back to my doctor and he put me on sick leave. I was still panicing though - I HAD to stop but couldn't. Then I went home and started searching the internet - my doctor wasn't impressed but wasn't against what I came up with. I came across a site (+ this one) that has kept me sane for the last two days (can't post link - google "hamsnetwork How To Taper Off Alcohol"). I was terribly scared that once I start drinking, I simply can't stop. Once the buzz hits something switches off and I lose control. However, if I drink at a rate slightly less than my extraction rate (need to check this with a doctor), there will be alcohol in my blood, and that will reduce the risk of serious withdrawal - after all, I haven't actually "stopped" but no buzz so no loss of control. Obviously a detox clinic is the optimal solution but as mentioned in many places, getting that on your health record can be a big problem.
I have been "sober" now for 4 days, and am now calm enough to hopefully see me through until Monday, when I get to see an addiction professional who can really help me. I know the road ahead will be long and difficult but at least this is the last time!
Anyway, I just thought I'd share my experience (panic) and see whether anyone else has tried this.
This is definitely NOT medical advice, and anyone thinking of this needs to talk to their doctor BEFOREHAND.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi Toto, welcome to SR I seemed to lose control during the first glass of wine so tapering off was never an option for me I hope it works for you at least until you can get professional help. Read all you can here and post often.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Hi Toto...looking forward to going to a professional is great. I felt the same way when I had an appt. but the problem is you still have to struggle before ou get there and when you leave...the next day and the next...I'm glad you took that first step. Like you, I had drank on and off since about 16...late 40's now and its time!! It's a rollercoaster ride and hard to get off when the ride stops...then we stay on just hoping it will stop. Accepting the problem and acting on it is a great thing. I wish you the best of luck Monday.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 665
Welcome Toto,
Yes, Seeing a doctor is a very good idea. Quitting can be very dangerous. I made my decision to quit on a Monday and set my quit day for Thursday. During that time I got rid of all hard alcohol in my home. I only drank beer. I drank fewer beers each day. I enlisted the support of my friends and family. I wrote out a list of all the reasons I wanted to quit and how much better my life would be alcohol free. I used the worksheets provided on the SMART recovery website to help clarify my thoughts.
I checked in here at SR several times per day, both reading what other people had to say and posting my own. This is a really supportive group of people.
I haven't had a single drink since that Thursday. I am on day 22 now. I also started attending SMART Recovery meetings in my neighborhood.
You should be able to find a local AA or Smart or other recovery group in your area. I'm finding these meetings very helpful.
I look forward to getting to know you better!
Yes, Seeing a doctor is a very good idea. Quitting can be very dangerous. I made my decision to quit on a Monday and set my quit day for Thursday. During that time I got rid of all hard alcohol in my home. I only drank beer. I drank fewer beers each day. I enlisted the support of my friends and family. I wrote out a list of all the reasons I wanted to quit and how much better my life would be alcohol free. I used the worksheets provided on the SMART recovery website to help clarify my thoughts.
I checked in here at SR several times per day, both reading what other people had to say and posting my own. This is a really supportive group of people.
I haven't had a single drink since that Thursday. I am on day 22 now. I also started attending SMART Recovery meetings in my neighborhood.
You should be able to find a local AA or Smart or other recovery group in your area. I'm finding these meetings very helpful.
I look forward to getting to know you better!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
I'm glad you're continuing to talk to your dr.
Please let us know how your appointment goes, and do believe in yourself and that you can stop drinking. Look around here and you'll see many who have.
Please let us know how your appointment goes, and do believe in yourself and that you can stop drinking. Look around here and you'll see many who have.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: France
Posts: 58
Thanks for your help and support everyone.
I'm very hopeful I can keep to the programme until Monday, as I'm approaching this strictly as a "medical" exercise. I did a lot (most in terms of quantity) of my drinking in my bedroom for the last year or so - pretty much so no one could see just how much it was. I was also hiding bottles of whisky - in a bag straight to my room then when empty (usually two days later) straight out to a recycling bin a block away (looking to make sure no one saw me). I got frequent comments from flatmates about the amount of beer and wine I would go through, with the resultant mass of bottles and cans that needed to be cleared regularly. They just couldn't see the whisky as well... The tapering exercise takes place in the kitchen, with 1L bottles of crap beer (it's only for the alcohol, so I shouldn't enjoy it) and a measuring cup. I'm doing 1 std drink (international, 10ml pure alcohol) per hour for 5 hours per night. There is nothing social about it - I stand at the breakfast bar and consume the beer in around 5-10 mins (should probably try and drag it out longer) and then move on. Anyway, it has helped me get over some serious panic attacks!
I'm very hopeful I can keep to the programme until Monday, as I'm approaching this strictly as a "medical" exercise. I did a lot (most in terms of quantity) of my drinking in my bedroom for the last year or so - pretty much so no one could see just how much it was. I was also hiding bottles of whisky - in a bag straight to my room then when empty (usually two days later) straight out to a recycling bin a block away (looking to make sure no one saw me). I got frequent comments from flatmates about the amount of beer and wine I would go through, with the resultant mass of bottles and cans that needed to be cleared regularly. They just couldn't see the whisky as well... The tapering exercise takes place in the kitchen, with 1L bottles of crap beer (it's only for the alcohol, so I shouldn't enjoy it) and a measuring cup. I'm doing 1 std drink (international, 10ml pure alcohol) per hour for 5 hours per night. There is nothing social about it - I stand at the breakfast bar and consume the beer in around 5-10 mins (should probably try and drag it out longer) and then move on. Anyway, it has helped me get over some serious panic attacks!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! Glad you decided to join us - the support here has made a huge impact on my recovery.
I think most of us can relate to sneaking the drinks in and out, the feeling that we can drink again because "this time will be different." I think it's great that you didn't just keep drinking heavily until your Monday appointment. We just never know when a binge could lead to something really bad.
Keep checking in - we're rooting for you!!
I think most of us can relate to sneaking the drinks in and out, the feeling that we can drink again because "this time will be different." I think it's great that you didn't just keep drinking heavily until your Monday appointment. We just never know when a binge could lead to something really bad.
Keep checking in - we're rooting for you!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: scotland
Posts: 6
just be careful doing it alone some doctors need to educate themselves on this field as mine said just stop that's the only way 5 days later i woke up in intensive care in my local hospital i had taken a seizure while driving on the duel carriageway five days after stopping lost my car and nearly my wife bad rta no one ever told me this could happen if you just go cold turkey with drink so be very carful when you get of it [just my own exsperince] you will do it m8 cause if i done it any one can, also all i can say is someone up there was looking out for me that day and they will be looking out for you aswell
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 665
Originally Posted by TotoBidule 
I did a lot (most in terms of quantity) of my drinking in my bedroom for the last year or so - pretty much so no one could see just how much it was. I was also hiding bottles of whisky - in a bag straight to my room then when empty (usually two days later) straight out to a recycling bin a block away (looking to make sure no one saw me).
I know you can make it through this and it is sooo worth it! It just gets better and better with each day of sobriety.:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: France
Posts: 58
Hi all. Day 5! Tapering went to plan last night so all good. My state of mind is still all over the place. This morning I had to go and do some administrative stuff and went from all good, to anxiety, to all good joking with one of the staff, to everything is fine I'm making a big deal out of nothing, to I need a drink, to serious anxiety, to all good again! I'm starting to get periods of clarity and purpose back in my thinking that I literally haven't had in YEARS. After only 5 days! I'm not kidding myself though - for me to get back to where I was at 25 could be years.
I sat down and started 4 lists - immediate, short, medium and long term goals. By my calculations I'm going to get back around 70 hours a week, and they need to be filled. After around 1.5 hours on the lists, I think I'm already going to have to start prioritising - there is soooo much I want to do! :-) Over the last 5 years I have gone from doing less and less to doing absolutely NOTHING but drinking.
Thanks to all of you - at this very moment I am in a very good place, and you are all a big part of that.
I sat down and started 4 lists - immediate, short, medium and long term goals. By my calculations I'm going to get back around 70 hours a week, and they need to be filled. After around 1.5 hours on the lists, I think I'm already going to have to start prioritising - there is soooo much I want to do! :-) Over the last 5 years I have gone from doing less and less to doing absolutely NOTHING but drinking.
Thanks to all of you - at this very moment I am in a very good place, and you are all a big part of that.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
With respect, you aren't qualified to be your own treatment center or recovery program (none of us are). I hope that if you feel you need some assistance, that you'll reach out and get some help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: France
Posts: 58
Originally Posted by smacked
With respect, you aren't qualified to be your own treatment center or recovery program (none of us are). I hope that if you feel you need some assistance, that you'll reach out and get some help.
...Been to see my doctor 4 times in the last week, and have an appointment at an addiction clinic on Monday at 9am. I have some questions about whether AA will be the right fit for me, but I'm in a big city so there is sure to be an alternative. I'm hoping to get some sort of support group lined up for Monday afternoon/night with the help of the clinic - will probably be AA to see if that is the right fit. I ABSOLUTELY need help. Until Monday I have to survive with what the doctor told me (don't go cold turkey), the help that I have been able to get here and elsewhere on the net, and what feels right for me at the time (which I admit changes every half hour or so). I'm just trying to hang on in the best way I know how...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: England
Posts: 70
Yo.
I'm 25 too. It's a rocky road, as drinking is almost essential at socialising at our age.
Stay strong, and don't be tempted to drink when the old "It's Friday - I deserve it" destructive thought process starts.
I can't take my own advice, but hopefully you can.
Take care, R
I'm 25 too. It's a rocky road, as drinking is almost essential at socialising at our age.
Stay strong, and don't be tempted to drink when the old "It's Friday - I deserve it" destructive thought process starts.
I can't take my own advice, but hopefully you can.
Take care, R
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Been to see my doctor 4 times in the last week, and have an appointment at an addiction clinic on Monday at 9am. I have some questions about whether AA will be the right fit for me, but I'm in a big city so there is sure to be an alternative. I'm hoping to get some sort of support group lined up for Monday afternoon/night with the help of the clinic - will probably be AA to see if that is the right fit. I ABSOLUTELY need help. Until Monday I have to survive with what the doctor told me (don't go cold turkey), the help that I have been able to get here and elsewhere on the net, and what feels right for me at the time (which I admit changes every half hour or so). I'm just trying to hang on in the best way I know how...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: France
Posts: 58
Day 6. Man did I underestimate how hard Friday was going to be... Reading and posting here pretty much got me through it! Tonight is going to be a mammoth effort though. One of my flatmates is really cool about everything, the other one decided it would be a good idea to invite 7-8 people over for drinks... Thank god our flat is huge and unless they get trashed I probably won't hear a thing (my room is about 20m from the lounge). I would go out but I went out for a walk along the waterfront (500m away) yesterday late afternoon and had a really difficult time. Drinking (as long as not drunk) in public areas is absolutely fine here in France, and on a balmy late winter afternoon in the sun you can be sure you'll see people drinking everywhere. It made me happy before but it wasn't so nice yesterday!
Anyway, I'm still sober and that is the important thing.
Anyway, I'm still sober and that is the important thing.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
The first weekend is THE hardest....... hang in there because it really does get better. At some point you'll be able to walk along the waterfront and enjoy it even more than you ever did while drinking..... it will be magnifique!
Hang in there!!!
Hang in there!!!
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