Charmie

the steps are what take you to the power eddie...not the meetings.
i thought i had never believed...then when i thought back i couldnt deny the fact that when i was little i had prayed...to what i have no idea....where did this idea come from because my family never talked about God.thats my experience though.
its like frothy and keith said...the only requirment is a willingness to believe...thats all.
before that though i sat down with another alcoholic and found out what was really wrong with me...what alcoholism is...out of the big book.when i sat with this lady and read the pages of that book and identified with what was written there...i saw how much trouble i was in....really understood the grave nature of this insiduous illness.by that point i was willing to believe in little green men from mars.
there is a way out for you eddie.i have followed your journey from when you first came here and ive always rooted for you.
if you really want this merry-go-round to stop then seek out someone at those meetings that talks about the solution,not the problem and ask them to help you.if they are on this path they will be delighted you asked.