Oh my god i never thought the hallucinations would be so real!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
Oh my god i never thought the hallucinations would be so real!!!
so i put myself in rehab to detox at laurelwood in willoughby ohio.I had to do a bit of social engineering to get in...i intentially told them i was going to kill myself to get in.it worked except for the fact that i went to jail that night for disorderly conduct...got jumped in jail....and again at the hospital...i never did 1 night in jail until i tried to get help...ne ways i did detox off of xanax/alcohol 15 days sober.....what supprised be was the ammpunt of times that others have been there...13 times? 20 times/ 9 times? ...crazy!!! It was a duel diagnosis unit since i have genaralized anxiety disorder.
I do not recomend trying to detox without help...i had hallucinations to the point that i had to be restrained...i thought i was on a plane and that it was being hi-jacked....in order to save the plane i had to get to the cabin of the plane so i could get ahold of the safety officials to thwart the hijacking....so when the door opened i leaped through the door... bowled through one of the hijackers and made my way to freedom...
In reality i was at rehab...i sat near the doorand when a stna opened the door of the wing i was on i ran through her like a running back...knocked over the cart she was pushing...and got tackled by about 5 people....one nurse went a bit overboard and kept hitting me in the head...he wouldn't stop. I'm trying to explain it and i can't...just trust me. DO NOT TRY TO DETOX YOURSELF!!! I've done acid before and it was comparable to tripping?!?!
I never thought it would be like that...so i'm out with 15 days sober today and still want a drink....wtf is wrong with me...really the only thing i learned was how to manipulate people easier.....i can use the angle that i have a "disease" to gey a few more yrs without much complaints from my wife....whoa is me...i have a disease....and to be honest it was a good treatment center. I can't blame them. I am beyond help.
I do not recomend trying to detox without help...i had hallucinations to the point that i had to be restrained...i thought i was on a plane and that it was being hi-jacked....in order to save the plane i had to get to the cabin of the plane so i could get ahold of the safety officials to thwart the hijacking....so when the door opened i leaped through the door... bowled through one of the hijackers and made my way to freedom...
In reality i was at rehab...i sat near the doorand when a stna opened the door of the wing i was on i ran through her like a running back...knocked over the cart she was pushing...and got tackled by about 5 people....one nurse went a bit overboard and kept hitting me in the head...he wouldn't stop. I'm trying to explain it and i can't...just trust me. DO NOT TRY TO DETOX YOURSELF!!! I've done acid before and it was comparable to tripping?!?!
I never thought it would be like that...so i'm out with 15 days sober today and still want a drink....wtf is wrong with me...really the only thing i learned was how to manipulate people easier.....i can use the angle that i have a "disease" to gey a few more yrs without much complaints from my wife....whoa is me...i have a disease....and to be honest it was a good treatment center. I can't blame them. I am beyond help.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 66
Mesh, I know I shouldn't have, but that story made me roll. I could just see you tripping balls, lol. See what drugs do? Keep on keeping on man, just take it a day at a time, I'm glad you got into a rehab, I'll pray for you.
I've been in hospitals where they tied my drunk ass down and forced a cathatar down me when I was awake! They dispised me at the hospital because I came in almost every other week, drunk angry and full of **** and vinegar. **** Booze and drugs.
I've been in hospitals where they tied my drunk ass down and forced a cathatar down me when I was awake! They dispised me at the hospital because I came in almost every other week, drunk angry and full of **** and vinegar. **** Booze and drugs.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
welcome back mesh 
sounds like you still have some thinking to do tho...that whole manipulation things and using the disease concept to get a few more years out your wife - that's your addiction mesh - you might not have a few more years if you listen to that.
You're not beyond help - don't listen to that voice.
Find help - try anything and everything that will be good for your recovery.
You're at the crossroads mesh - take the right path.
sounds like you still have some thinking to do tho...that whole manipulation things and using the disease concept to get a few more years out your wife - that's your addiction mesh - you might not have a few more years if you listen to that.
You're not beyond help - don't listen to that voice.
Find help - try anything and everything that will be good for your recovery.
You're at the crossroads mesh - take the right path.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: austintown ohio
Posts: 58
I do feel good though right now...picked up a job just to get something to do...i have a strong work ethic...but a few things have to be placed on hold while i adjust to this new life....i'm thinking strongly about just emerging my life into work...i've done that b4 but the stress leads to drinking...i almost went into a meeting tonite but i kinda feel wierd about going myself?! I dunno? One thing that suprised me is the support i have...they want me to succeed...even my mother-in-law. go figure?!?
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: central n00bistan
Posts: 121
Originally Posted by mesh12121 
I am beyond help.
You sick and tired of being sick and tired yet? Ready to do whatever it takes to lead a clean and sober life? Ready to take responsibility for your choices? Ready to help yourself? Cool.
Wakey wakey!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Congratulations on your job.
Employment is great mesh - but it's not recovery.
You almost went to a meeting? so you know you need something...don't let your fear make you drag your heels mesh.
Today could be the first day of your life...if you want it to be
D
Employment is great mesh - but it's not recovery.
You almost went to a meeting? so you know you need something...don't let your fear make you drag your heels mesh.
Today could be the first day of your life...if you want it to be
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Glad you're alive, Mesh.
That stage of withdrawal sounds like you should feel the same way.
I was in your shoes: Ten days in a psych ward about a week after stopping Klonopin and booze after a 10-year run. Add seizures to the trips and you might get the picture.
You have a job? Be grateful. A wife? Wow...some of us lost everything to benzos and booze.
You've walked through the doors of AA and you were grated warmly? Amazing. You felt weird. You still think about drinking.
Walk through those doors one more time and ask for help. It might save your marriage, job and that little thing called life.
That support you felt at the meeting is called a concept of spirituality; they'll be a phone call away to give you the help you need.
Just reach out.
That stage of withdrawal sounds like you should feel the same way.
I was in your shoes: Ten days in a psych ward about a week after stopping Klonopin and booze after a 10-year run. Add seizures to the trips and you might get the picture.
You have a job? Be grateful. A wife? Wow...some of us lost everything to benzos and booze.
You've walked through the doors of AA and you were grated warmly? Amazing. You felt weird. You still think about drinking.
Walk through those doors one more time and ask for help. It might save your marriage, job and that little thing called life.
That support you felt at the meeting is called a concept of spirituality; they'll be a phone call away to give you the help you need.
Just reach out.
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