Alcoholic "status" questioned by an old-timer
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
you can't be serious!!!!
When I first came out of rehab, first of all even before I came out of rehab I had an argument with my doctor which pissed me off royally, then I had an argument with the detox hospital regarding some charges, which pissed me off even more, when I got home, I tried to find a sponsor from the list they gave me, none were available or never returned my call.
I just said to f....them all. This is my life to take charge off not someone elses responsibility. I went to my psychiatrist and just kept weekly touch with her until I settled down emotionally a bit.
All those f==s didn't drive me to drink just cause I couldn't find a babysitter after rehab.
come, on! everyone, get a little back bone!
When I first came out of rehab, first of all even before I came out of rehab I had an argument with my doctor which pissed me off royally, then I had an argument with the detox hospital regarding some charges, which pissed me off even more, when I got home, I tried to find a sponsor from the list they gave me, none were available or never returned my call.
I just said to f....them all. This is my life to take charge off not someone elses responsibility. I went to my psychiatrist and just kept weekly touch with her until I settled down emotionally a bit.
All those f==s didn't drive me to drink just cause I couldn't find a babysitter after rehab.
come, on! everyone, get a little back bone!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 1,149
I certainly dont need anyone or anything to drive me to drink kiki.
I can do that all by myself.
I can assure you I also have plenty of 'backbone' which alcohol can snap just like a wet noodle.
I agree with you though....it's ultimatley up to us to 'take charge'.
I'm actually in a way kind of relieved nobody offered to sponsor me.
There are other ways......f' em.
I can do that all by myself.
I can assure you I also have plenty of 'backbone' which alcohol can snap just like a wet noodle.
I agree with you though....it's ultimatley up to us to 'take charge'.
I'm actually in a way kind of relieved nobody offered to sponsor me.
There are other ways......f' em.
Ethanol Intolerant
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 665
Hooped if you are trying to find a sponsor the same way you are asking for input on this thread, I can see why you feel invisible. Go ahead and start a new thread introducing yourself. This thread is FUBAR and a little long in the tooth, the only people coming here are either staring at a car wreck or participating in one.
Finding a good sponsor is like meeting anyone else. It is a lot of chance, but it is also a matter of sticking out your hand and introducing yourself. You don't have to hang out in the rooms very long to see that huge number of people cycle through, they are there for a few meetings then gone. People get a little jaded. I would also suggest find some stag meetings, you still have some testosterone induced nonsense going on, but it is of a different character.
Finding a good sponsor is like meeting anyone else. It is a lot of chance, but it is also a matter of sticking out your hand and introducing yourself. You don't have to hang out in the rooms very long to see that huge number of people cycle through, they are there for a few meetings then gone. People get a little jaded. I would also suggest find some stag meetings, you still have some testosterone induced nonsense going on, but it is of a different character.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
Originally Posted by Hooped 
I certainly dont need anyone or anything to drive me to drink kiki.
I can do that all by myself.
I can assure you I also have plenty of 'backbone' which alcohol can snap just like a wet noodle.
I agree with you though....it's ultimatley up to us to 'take charge'.
I'm actually in a way kind of relieved nobody offered to sponsor me.
There are other ways......f' em.
I can do that all by myself.
I can assure you I also have plenty of 'backbone' which alcohol can snap just like a wet noodle.
I agree with you though....it's ultimatley up to us to 'take charge'.
I'm actually in a way kind of relieved nobody offered to sponsor me.
There are other ways......f' em.
No, for real, there's no need to compare anyone's suffering. All of our suffering is real and monstrous, to each in our own way.
Wish you all the best!!!!!!!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 270
Originally Posted by Hooped
This go round at things I made it 58 days.
[snip!]
I'm pretty disillusioned with AA at the moment. I know I'm an alcoholic. I know I'm powerless. I just feel that somehow I am not going to be finding any answers anytime soon.......
[snip!]
I'm pretty disillusioned with AA at the moment. I know I'm an alcoholic. I know I'm powerless. I just feel that somehow I am not going to be finding any answers anytime soon.......
The answer to your dilemma is simple, and it is not new - it has not changed in 5,000 years.
Addicted people have always sought sensational schemes to either continue their fix or to postpone their final fix, but the equation has never and will not ever change.
Make a decision to never drink again, in spite of what may come, and suffer, perhaps intensely, for a few months until the body re-acclimates to not having alcohol.
No suffering, no discomfort, no freedom. It is that simple.
- JBC
Riding Barefoot
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 452
Wow, I had no idea this was still going. I have some catching up to do on my thread! Funny thing, not that I have questioned my own alcoholism one bit in the past few months, or years even, but I have been to a few more meetings since I had that experience last Wednesday, and I have heard a few speakers who are a lot like me in the ways that had originally brought on the skepticism. Hopefully eye-opening and informative for the person who still believes that a "true" alcoholic has to have lost jobs, homes, gotte multiple DUIs, etc. With me, I just got lucky... I certainly should have lost my job, I should have had more than one DUI; I was just one that somehow kept slipping thru the radar. I have God to thank for that. That is my only explanation. Everything, every single tiny and every single huge thing, happens for a reason.
Riding Barefoot
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 452
Originally Posted by ThriveLive
@Kiki5711:
With respect, I respond. This is a very important topic and needs to be addressed. Do not just dismiss this as something small & trival. Please go back and read Drunken Basement's post in proper context. I highly doubt that Drunken Basement was being "oversensitive to an old timer." I mean seriously. Many true alcholics wrestle with this thought. "Am I really an alcoholic?" We have a disease that tells us that we do not have a disease. "Functional Alcoholics" compare themselves and their "higher bottom" to other fellow Alcholics who seem to be "lower on the dengenerate scale." This is a progressive disease. A "Functional" but real alcoholic can easily trick themselves into believing they can drink normal. This type of denial leads may lead into a relapse and eventually death because it is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." Words can destroy in a second and this disease is not only a physical allergy coupled with a mental obsession and also, a disease of perception. So, old timers need not say these things. Its arrogant and really affects the mind of the newcomer or the person struggling with questioning if he is truly a "real alcholic." Alcoholics tend to obsess and this question can be torture to one not sure. Afraid to go back out and drink as a "normal" drinker and possibly die or sit in a room feeling like a confused hypocrite. I hope you understand now, Kiki5711.
With respect, I respond. This is a very important topic and needs to be addressed. Do not just dismiss this as something small & trival. Please go back and read Drunken Basement's post in proper context. I highly doubt that Drunken Basement was being "oversensitive to an old timer." I mean seriously. Many true alcholics wrestle with this thought. "Am I really an alcoholic?" We have a disease that tells us that we do not have a disease. "Functional Alcoholics" compare themselves and their "higher bottom" to other fellow Alcholics who seem to be "lower on the dengenerate scale." This is a progressive disease. A "Functional" but real alcoholic can easily trick themselves into believing they can drink normal. This type of denial leads may lead into a relapse and eventually death because it is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." Words can destroy in a second and this disease is not only a physical allergy coupled with a mental obsession and also, a disease of perception. So, old timers need not say these things. Its arrogant and really affects the mind of the newcomer or the person struggling with questioning if he is truly a "real alcholic." Alcoholics tend to obsess and this question can be torture to one not sure. Afraid to go back out and drink as a "normal" drinker and possibly die or sit in a room feeling like a confused hypocrite. I hope you understand now, Kiki5711.
Thank you for responding to this and saying it so much better than I could have at the time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
One thing I know I am not disollutioned about is this, AA is the title of a book, Alcoholics Anonymous. The contents written that book saved my life and testimonial after testimonial the life of others, and shows me a way towards a 2nd chance at learning and trying to live again.
From that book are the fellowships, or the meetings etc.
The 2 are seperate.
I am sure, if it was not for the book, there may have been no forum such as this one for that matter, if considered to an extreme example.
What happenes at meetings sometimes, ( or forums for that matter) is not written from the book. Things over time become diluted. So why not go back to the book, the basic text, do the steps, and share the expirience after taking the steps, seems a novel idea these days.
So when one bags "AA", and is not refering from the actual book, then would it be automatically assumed it's bagging that particular fellowship of AA, but not the book it self?
The other thing I find interesting, there are a few others that are aware of this clarity to, and when they, including myself lately, quote from the BB, we seem to get labled as "Big Book Bashers" or "Step-A-Holics".
And that's ok, it really is, I am not ashamed of it, cos I know where I'm coming from, from . there is no "s" at the end of path.
The moral of this is, this thread has run a marathon race with "contestants" from all over the world! The truth is, what's the challenge? There is no challenge to be honest. It's democracy and benign anarchy. The ancient Greeks worshipped 12 gods, and there was a spot they titled,"the unknown god", and from what I gathered anyone could stand there and state their piece, true democracy. So what I'm saying, at this point of the thread, I am still clear it is not about AA, the book, it's about the fellowships of AA and their interpretation or misinterprtation of the book.
From that book are the fellowships, or the meetings etc.
The 2 are seperate.
I am sure, if it was not for the book, there may have been no forum such as this one for that matter, if considered to an extreme example.
What happenes at meetings sometimes, ( or forums for that matter) is not written from the book. Things over time become diluted. So why not go back to the book, the basic text, do the steps, and share the expirience after taking the steps, seems a novel idea these days.
So when one bags "AA", and is not refering from the actual book, then would it be automatically assumed it's bagging that particular fellowship of AA, but not the book it self?
The other thing I find interesting, there are a few others that are aware of this clarity to, and when they, including myself lately, quote from the BB, we seem to get labled as "Big Book Bashers" or "Step-A-Holics".
And that's ok, it really is, I am not ashamed of it, cos I know where I'm coming from, from
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.
The moral of this is, this thread has run a marathon race with "contestants" from all over the world! The truth is, what's the challenge? There is no challenge to be honest. It's democracy and benign anarchy. The ancient Greeks worshipped 12 gods, and there was a spot they titled,"the unknown god", and from what I gathered anyone could stand there and state their piece, true democracy. So what I'm saying, at this point of the thread, I am still clear it is not about AA, the book, it's about the fellowships of AA and their interpretation or misinterprtation of the book.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
The only time I would question if someone was a real alcoholic in AA is if they tell a newcomer I am sponsoring "you don't need to do the steps because I never did them and Im fine".....that happened in one of the groups I was in.
We should always qualify whether someone is an alcoholic or not when they come in - heavy drinkers in AA who are not alcoholic could kill our members because they won't understand the need for a spiritual experience. They are the ones who just stopped and enjoy the friendship of AA without doing the steps.
Research shows that 20% of the American population suffer from serious drinking problems, but only about half of those problem drinkers are real alcoholics. That means that there are as many hard drinkers as real alcoholics, and since it is easier for them to “stop or moderate”, we may well have more of them surviving in the fellowship than we have real alcoholics in recovery (program). And they offer opinions (instead of Book-based facts) and their opinions will kill us if we listen to them and follow their advice instead of the Book’s. They do not have to adhere to the “rules” (as we must) in order to live.
We are on a “life and death errand”--they aren’t. We must seek it “like a drowning man”--they do not have to. Thus comes the danger of being in a meeting with them: we hear from them the exact opposite of what we need to hear, the opposite of what our Book tells us. We hear statements and opinions that may be the truth for them but are fatal lies for us.
So yeah - qualification is vital. This guy did it really badly.
We should always qualify whether someone is an alcoholic or not when they come in - heavy drinkers in AA who are not alcoholic could kill our members because they won't understand the need for a spiritual experience. They are the ones who just stopped and enjoy the friendship of AA without doing the steps.
Research shows that 20% of the American population suffer from serious drinking problems, but only about half of those problem drinkers are real alcoholics. That means that there are as many hard drinkers as real alcoholics, and since it is easier for them to “stop or moderate”, we may well have more of them surviving in the fellowship than we have real alcoholics in recovery (program). And they offer opinions (instead of Book-based facts) and their opinions will kill us if we listen to them and follow their advice instead of the Book’s. They do not have to adhere to the “rules” (as we must) in order to live.
We are on a “life and death errand”--they aren’t. We must seek it “like a drowning man”--they do not have to. Thus comes the danger of being in a meeting with them: we hear from them the exact opposite of what we need to hear, the opposite of what our Book tells us. We hear statements and opinions that may be the truth for them but are fatal lies for us.
So yeah - qualification is vital. This guy did it really badly.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
The only time I would question if someone was a real alcoholic in AA is if they tell a newcomer I am sponsoring "you don't need to do the steps because I never did them and Im fine".....that happened in one of the groups I was in.
The old timers just put up with it, roll their eyes, look across the room, wink, smile, persevere. It's a circus at times.
But the newcomer walks in, gotta catch him or her before they do or ya lost them.
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