The worst kind of hitting bottom
 

Once again I'm reaching out.

I have continued to struggle with my binge drinking. A few years ago I was sober for about 6 months -- thanks to the support and guidance I received here at SR -- but I blew it and returned to my old ways.

Now, I realize I desperately need help (and yes, AA). The problem is, right now I'm so down I don't have the energy to leave my house. I'm scared. I'm fighting suicidal thoughts.

I'm truly alone. My job has been eliminated. My husband has abandoned me emotionally. My mom just died a month ago. I'm empty. Alone. And untrusting right now. In the past, I've always had hope. But I can't find any right now. This is the best I could do reaching out.

Alcohol is annihilating me.

Hi Prettypoison. Welcome back. And even though you've taken a few on the chin, you CAN do it. Can you get to a meeting or call a 24 hour line tonight? Right now, perhaps? Being alone and feeling alone is horrible. There are people waiting to talk to you and help. It gets better as you get better. :ghug3

Hi and Welcome back!

I know there is hope for you!

Things have gotten worse for you, as you said, but they don't have to continue to worsen. You can do this!

Hi Pettypoison sorry to hear you are going through this. My thoughts are with you I hope you can hang on and get the help you need.

Welcome back prettypoison.
Sorry to hear things aren't so good.

I think the worst thing we can do in situations like these is let our fear dictate to us.

Keep posting here, ring your local AA asap - start reaching out and climbing out of the hole you've dug...

We've all been there - you are not alone - you can do this! :)

D

Prettypoison-

What if I told you that you could go to a place where everyone will understand?

To a place where they'll welcome you for who you are and what you've done?

To a place where they have a solution to your alcoholism and are grateful to show you how to get and stay sober?

Go to AA and soak it all in.

We can and do recover and you can be living proof.

Kjell

The best thing I ever heard, I heard at my first AA meeting: You NEVER have to feel this way, again.

If you want an infusion of hope, get to a meeting. TODAY. If you call AA, they may have someone available to take you to a meeting.

Thanks so much for welcoming me back.

I'm grateful to know someone understands where I am right now -- and I truly appreciate the support. It was difficult for me to admit the state of mind I'm in currently. It's dark and awful.

I hate what I've done to myself with alcohol. Drinking and self-destruction I could do just fine by myself -- but picking myself up by the bootstraps -- not so much.

I will take the next step even though I am terrified. And quite ashamed of myself.

Thanks everyone for encouraging me.

My dear friend, I was in the EXACT same spot you are in a mere 7 days ago....I have had a horrible couple months......it IS dark and it IS awful. I don't know what hit my switch, maybe the same thing that brought you here today.......I made up my mind that I wanted my life back....no matter what it took. So I rode it out on the couch for a few days and here I am.

If I can do it anyone can cause I was in a very bad way.....drinking all day.....fear of everything........dreading everything, it was horrible.

I am here to tell you that there is hope, my friend. I promise you that. I am only 7 days sober but my whole life has changed in that short amount of time, and it can for you too. First thing is to get your head on straight. Then deal with all those things you THINK are a nightmare.........they will be much less with a little time away from that poison, life-sucking stuff. One thing at a time, keep it simple, I have witnessed your strength in the past.......I am always here for you..........PM if you need me. Hugs to you. Join me in a new life.

Welcome back! I remehber exactly where you are coming from. The lack of hope was to me the most terrifying. But I promise you...there Is hope. Go to a meeting and you can find it...all you have to do is reach out for it.

If you can't make yourself go today...stay here with us.

Hugs.

VC my friend -- I accept your invitation to join you in a new life.

LaFemme -- the loss of hope is a new and terrifying low for me. Never experienced anything quite like it. Not a hopeful thought for weeks now.

I am so soul sick. Indeed I need a new life. It is just so hard to get up when you feel broken. But I'm trying.

Thank you for your words of encouragement and understanding.

I have spent waaay too much time on the couch staring at the t.v. and trying to check out mentally. It's no way to exist.

Again we hold hands and march forward friends...:ghug3

PP call your local AA. Most areas will have a list of people that 12 step people.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom. i'm also here to tell you that there is hope and that there is always someone on SR so keep posting and reaching out.

you want to change your life and live in the light.

welcome back.

...on the path of hope. You will get there. We're all proof that it can be done.

Welcome back to SR—and to your life!

I want to say thanks to each one of you who has replied --

PaleMale, Aussieblue, Kjell, Viciouscycle, Lexiecat, LaFemme, Recycle, Fandy, Readyandable and of course our awesome moderators Anna and Dee.

Thank you for being here for me in one of my worst moments. For now I know I am not alone. I resisted to urge to drink today. I have paced the floors, logged on and off SR trying to decide what to do and have slowly moved from despair to a ray of hope.

With your help, the choice I'm making is to reach out further and get to an AA meeting tomorrow. I rode out the storm and refused to drink and in the process not give up on me today.

Good for you! Trust me, tomorrow is the start of a whole new life.

You're part way back already. Keep doing just what you're doing, if that means reaching out for help, from SR, from a meeting as soon as possible, from the best medical and counseling advice you can get. Many, many others have been just where you are right now and they've made it back. If you do this right, you will find that from all this wreckage hope will arise. It will happen. Believe! And it will happen! Every good wish.


W.

The good thing about AA is that you won't have to "bootstrap" it. You won't go this alone as long as you reach out some.

I am thinking of you and pulling for you. Please keep us updated.

Much love.

You've been through so much - just focus on your sobriety right now. Baby steps. The rest will sort itself out. I spent the first couple days in bed (like I would do if I had the flu), and stayed logged in here...... take it an hour or a minute at a time. It will get better. (Just don't mess around if you need a doctor's help to detox).....

Sending prayers and hugs - and a thumbs up for what you're doing - You deserve it!:ghug3

Hi prettypoison. If you can't go to AA right now, but want to, I'll bring AA to you. Click on this link and just start listening. XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

When we are struggling like it sounds you are, we just need to get out of ourselves. I think these podcasts will help you do that. I promise you life can and will get better. I would start at the very top (History of AA) and go from there. I find these podcasts very helpful.

You can get better and life does to!