Ready to Talk
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Berea, Ohio
Posts: 7
Ready to Talk
First, the group here is the best of all of many I have viewed over the past few months. I recovered in 1986. I was sober for a long time. I achieved my career dream and must have become over-confident because I lost my "radar". I met a man who was Prince Charming. (He is really a manic-depressive, bi-polar, bi-sexual who has some serious issues.) He should be up for an Academy Award. He is also an alcoholic/drug addict (kept very well hidden until we married). He attempted suicide about 6 years ago and I cracked. Trying to help him, I allowed his problems and negative thoughts to take away my long sobriety. I am not placing blame -- I just lost my strength. He was abusive and controlling and I was living in fear. He didn't work much and had a large inheritence coming. When his Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, things got worse. He left one day to go help his parents and never came back. That was 10/19/10 and the next day I started looking for help. I have had 3 short lapses, but have been sobor ever since.
This forum is helping me dig out of a very black hole while trying to deal with a divorce. As is often the case, he left and yet he is being very vindictive about everything. I had to get a restraining order, change the locks, etc., because he has done a few things to hurt me and I am physically afraid of him. (There is much more but I am trying to give you a snapshot.)
I belong to an AA based support group. When I found this site, I knew I found my jewel. Just being able to read a story every morning is helping me gain confidence. I am not sleeping well, but when I do sleep I wake feeling "dead". I hope someone can relate and share what they have learned to make that feeling last for shorter periods. It's very hard to face each day but once I stop and read, I can usually start to turn it around and up feeling good.
I so appreciate all of you and your open sharing. You have already helped more than anything in my life. Thank you.
This forum is helping me dig out of a very black hole while trying to deal with a divorce. As is often the case, he left and yet he is being very vindictive about everything. I had to get a restraining order, change the locks, etc., because he has done a few things to hurt me and I am physically afraid of him. (There is much more but I am trying to give you a snapshot.)
I belong to an AA based support group. When I found this site, I knew I found my jewel. Just being able to read a story every morning is helping me gain confidence. I am not sleeping well, but when I do sleep I wake feeling "dead". I hope someone can relate and share what they have learned to make that feeling last for shorter periods. It's very hard to face each day but once I stop and read, I can usually start to turn it around and up feeling good.
I so appreciate all of you and your open sharing. You have already helped more than anything in my life. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 581
Welcome.
I, too, had "long term" sobriety and relapsed. My fellowship-only involvement in AA eventually caught up with me.
But without that experience, I wouldn't be writing this today. I've recovered from alcoholism through the program (the 12 Steps) of AA.
Hang in there...
I, too, had "long term" sobriety and relapsed. My fellowship-only involvement in AA eventually caught up with me.
But without that experience, I wouldn't be writing this today. I've recovered from alcoholism through the program (the 12 Steps) of AA.
Hang in there...
This forum has helped me so much.
I hope we can be as much help to you.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,870
Welcome to SR! 
It's good that you are in a support program for your sobriety, but I'm also wondering if it might be a good idea for you to find a support program for physical violence you have endured. Going through something like that can leave long-term psychological scars, which could be the reason you are still not sleeping well and living with fear and dread.
Again, welcome to SR. You will find a lot of support here.
It's good that you are in a support program for your sobriety, but I'm also wondering if it might be a good idea for you to find a support program for physical violence you have endured. Going through something like that can leave long-term psychological scars, which could be the reason you are still not sleeping well and living with fear and dread.
Again, welcome to SR. You will find a lot of support here.
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
Welcome to SR!! I'm very glad you have made to choice to get back into wanting to get better. Not everyone does. You're an inspiration!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Welcome...glad you are here.
I had a dream last night I relapsed...hate when that happens. I'm only 31 days in and I was afraid upon waking it was true. UGH!
I've had "more than a few" situations that kept me from considering recovery. Good for you to have been sober for so long -you can get back to where you were.
I had a dream last night I relapsed...hate when that happens. I'm only 31 days in and I was afraid upon waking it was true. UGH!
I've had "more than a few" situations that kept me from considering recovery. Good for you to have been sober for so long -you can get back to where you were.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome AD - your post describes something I went through after meeting a guy in treatment (my 2nd rehab)....... He was a former priest (turns out a few churches "let him go"), told me he was a writer and an artist (both lies), very charming, very sensitive, very intellectual, and very mentally screwed up. He had me thinking I was a crazy person and did all the checking my mail, calling 30 times a day ...... stuff that could fill two or three threads, for sure, and some of it pretty scary.
I almost married him (he had moved in with me and talked about working on a novel - couldn't even keep a job at a bookstore - he was 50). He died in a house fire after we broke up - drunk and on drugs, I'm sure.
I know this is all beside the point, but I just wanted to say I can empathize (big time!).......:ghug3 And you're so right about this forum - it's a true jewel. Coming here every day has been the perfect support for me.
Things are going to get better - keep doing what is best for you and don't look back!:day6
I almost married him (he had moved in with me and talked about working on a novel - couldn't even keep a job at a bookstore - he was 50). He died in a house fire after we broke up - drunk and on drugs, I'm sure.
I know this is all beside the point, but I just wanted to say I can empathize (big time!).......:ghug3 And you're so right about this forum - it's a true jewel. Coming here every day has been the perfect support for me.
Things are going to get better - keep doing what is best for you and don't look back!:day6
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