Putting out a challenge
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Wander and glad you are with us 
Why not get involved in the Feb. 2011 thread? One of the support pieces in my recovery is this site and I added to that by connecting with other folks who quit around the same time as me. This was very helpful to me and I have connected with some really amazing folks.
Here is the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ry-2011-a.html
Just figured I would share what helped me get going and I think it is definitely more in line with support then challenging others
We all can get into recovery and make the change if we want to.
Keep it going!!
Why not get involved in the Feb. 2011 thread? One of the support pieces in my recovery is this site and I added to that by connecting with other folks who quit around the same time as me. This was very helpful to me and I have connected with some really amazing folks.
Here is the link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ry-2011-a.html
Just figured I would share what helped me get going and I think it is definitely more in line with support then challenging others
We all can get into recovery and make the change if we want to.
Keep it going!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Portsmouth UK
Posts: 97
Originally Posted by wander2 
Hi All,
I was just sitting around wanting a drink. (I am on day 3) and I was thinking I am not very good at this quitting drinking thing. I started thinking what am I good at? answer competing. I think my problem may have event started cause I always had to drink the most. So I thought I need competition, so here it is.
Anyone close in time to me in days, (close being as relative as you want it to be) I challenge all of you to stay sober longer then me.
Please reply if you are up for it.
P.S I know this is a bit unusual but I think it will work for me.
I was just sitting around wanting a drink. (I am on day 3) and I was thinking I am not very good at this quitting drinking thing. I started thinking what am I good at? answer competing. I think my problem may have event started cause I always had to drink the most. So I thought I need competition, so here it is.
Anyone close in time to me in days, (close being as relative as you want it to be) I challenge all of you to stay sober longer then me.
Please reply if you are up for it.
P.S I know this is a bit unusual but I think it will work for me.
Originally Posted by LexieCat
The only problem I see with a "competition" is that it starts with the assumption somebody is gonna "win" and somebody is gonna "lose".
There will always be people with more "time" than I have, and people with less. I stay sober every day for the rewards it will bring me, not to accumulate time or feel like I'm ahead of somebody else.
This isn't a race, it's a matter of life and death. So it sorta feels like a competition is like cancer patients betting on who will stay in remission longest. I'd prefer to think that every person here is capable of getting sober and staying that way. And for everyone to focus on the tools they need to do that. There will, inevitably, be some people who will have problems and may have to go back to square one. Sometimes that's part of the process, but it doesn't HAVE to be.
Just my own musings. If the idea of competing works for you, it works. I guess I have my doubts about it being a great strategy.
There will always be people with more "time" than I have, and people with less. I stay sober every day for the rewards it will bring me, not to accumulate time or feel like I'm ahead of somebody else.
This isn't a race, it's a matter of life and death. So it sorta feels like a competition is like cancer patients betting on who will stay in remission longest. I'd prefer to think that every person here is capable of getting sober and staying that way. And for everyone to focus on the tools they need to do that. There will, inevitably, be some people who will have problems and may have to go back to square one. Sometimes that's part of the process, but it doesn't HAVE to be.
Just my own musings. If the idea of competing works for you, it works. I guess I have my doubts about it being a great strategy.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
LexieCat has a great point. I like to think this is a competition we can all win.
If you want a challenge, consider this:
First off, I really benefit from the whole approach of viewing cravings and thoughts about drinking as the voice of my addiction. Like it's someone else talking. He wants me to drink — tries to trick me, sweet talks me, rationalizes like crazy, saying, "hey, you've been doing great, one little drink won't hurt..." He's a liar and a thief, that one.
I've been kicking his ass on a daily basis for over two months now. The score is 70-something to zero.
Don't feel bad for him though, and don't underestimate him. He smacked me around for years and years, and he'll kill me if he gets the chance. It doesn't get more competitive than that.
If you want a challenge, consider this:
First off, I really benefit from the whole approach of viewing cravings and thoughts about drinking as the voice of my addiction. Like it's someone else talking. He wants me to drink — tries to trick me, sweet talks me, rationalizes like crazy, saying, "hey, you've been doing great, one little drink won't hurt..." He's a liar and a thief, that one.
I've been kicking his ass on a daily basis for over two months now. The score is 70-something to zero.
Don't feel bad for him though, and don't underestimate him. He smacked me around for years and years, and he'll kill me if he gets the chance. It doesn't get more competitive than that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 91
Lexie, I am not looking at it as "winning" or "losing" just having to be accountable and having sober brothers and sisters to go along on the journey with me. I think we should use whatever tools we have and whatever might work to stay sober. I am on a personal journey where every day I am sober I win, but it is nice to have people along for the ride. There will be no judging on my part if someone in the thread drinks again.
Ready, I use those tools that you mention as well. That doesn't mean I can't use multiple approaches at the same time. That will increase our chances of staying sober won't it?
Ready, I use those tools that you mention as well. That doesn't mean I can't use multiple approaches at the same time. That will increase our chances of staying sober won't it?
Stopping the Train...
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sevierville, TN - in the valley of the Great Smoky Mountains
Posts: 978
One of my many problems is my competitiveness and perfection. I set myself up with expectations that I will win and someone else will lose. I can do it better - therefore someone else will not. It is part of addictive behavior. If I lose I feel like I've failed. When I fail I use. When I use - it's not a slip - it's a relapse, plain and simple.
Keep rollin y'all, but watch those expectations!!
Keep rollin y'all, but watch those expectations!!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by jerseytomato
Ready, I use those tools that you mention as well. That doesn't mean I can't use multiple approaches at the same time. That will increase our chances of staying sober won't it?
I'm just another alcoholic, though. I don't claim to have all the answers. I know that what worked for me was to throw in the towel in terms of thinking I could win a "battle" with alcohol--it will kick my butt every time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I think we're all on the same page, JerseyTomato. My point was just that I don't want to outlast you; I want us both to succeed. We're all playing on the same team, in other words. And by "succeed" I don't just mean resisting the desire to drink, but ultimately reaching a place where we don't want to drink.
But that's just me. FrothyJay hit the nail on the head: fellowship is powerful, whatever form it comes in. If it works for someone, I'm 100% for it!
But that's just me. FrothyJay hit the nail on the head: fellowship is powerful, whatever form it comes in. If it works for someone, I'm 100% for it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Il
Posts: 144
Glad to hear you made it tomato and welcome sollygolly.
Today if you pardon my french has really sucked so far.. seem to be angry at everyone for everything. I know its just me, and I try not to show it to the family, they don't deserve it.
I know what you mean tomato about putting your coat on. taking it off then on again. I many times convinced myself that I could drive to the liquor store convincing myself that I could just turn around and go home. Then buy my vodka saying I don't have to drink it, I haven't blown it yet. Then of course go home and get drunk.
anyway, lets keep it up.
Today if you pardon my french has really sucked so far.. seem to be angry at everyone for everything. I know its just me, and I try not to show it to the family, they don't deserve it.
I know what you mean tomato about putting your coat on. taking it off then on again. I many times convinced myself that I could drive to the liquor store convincing myself that I could just turn around and go home. Then buy my vodka saying I don't have to drink it, I haven't blown it yet. Then of course go home and get drunk.
anyway, lets keep it up.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 91
Hey all my sober buddies! I woke at 4:30 this morning and decided to get up because I was starving. If I had drank last night I would be too lazy to even go eat something but I was able to get up and make myself french toast and coffee. I made it through Day 3 and I am physically feeling great. Mentally, I have some work to do.
I have to go get my girls at 7:00 (I share custody with my ex). When I am in my car and I only have myself and my thoughts is when it usually gets scary. I've stopped for alcohol many times while out and about so I know I'll need my strength a little bit more today but I know I can do it!
Good job wander! We are all going to face some rough times throughout this journey. We can do it though. It is so worth it.
Five reasons to stay sober today:
1. My health
2. I get to spend time with my little girls
3. I don't want any conflict in my life due to alcohol
4. I don't want to spend any money on alcohol
5. I want my memory back
Trudge on everyone!
I have to go get my girls at 7:00 (I share custody with my ex). When I am in my car and I only have myself and my thoughts is when it usually gets scary. I've stopped for alcohol many times while out and about so I know I'll need my strength a little bit more today but I know I can do it!
Good job wander! We are all going to face some rough times throughout this journey. We can do it though. It is so worth it.
Five reasons to stay sober today:
1. My health
2. I get to spend time with my little girls
3. I don't want any conflict in my life due to alcohol
4. I don't want to spend any money on alcohol
5. I want my memory back
Trudge on everyone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Il
Posts: 144
Wow, Last night was a good nights sleep. That is something I never got when drunk. It felt weird wakeing up refreshed. I need to keep that feeling in mind when I think about drinking, I usually feel like crap when I wake up.
And I know what you mean about the drives Jerseytomato. I drive my daughter to school every morning and on the way home there is a liquor store at the entrance of my subdivision. It was a usual stop on the way home. It opens at 8:00 AM which was about 5 minutes before I would drive by. I used to get so mad when the guy was late, (Meant I had to make a trip back).
Good luck today all.
And I know what you mean about the drives Jerseytomato. I drive my daughter to school every morning and on the way home there is a liquor store at the entrance of my subdivision. It was a usual stop on the way home. It opens at 8:00 AM which was about 5 minutes before I would drive by. I used to get so mad when the guy was late, (Meant I had to make a trip back).
Good luck today all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Hey guys! Congrats on your early sobriety! I found the support of others who started at the same time enormously helpful. I also think it helped being somewhat accountable to them...I didn't want to let them down by reducing the numbers of our group. There are still 5 of us rolling along hitting the 8 months mark.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Last edited by LaFemme; 02-28-2011 at 06:25 AM. Reason: grammar
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Originally Posted by LaFemme
Hey guys! Congrats on your early sobriety! I found the support of others who started at the same time enormously helpful. I also think it helped being somewhat accountable to them...I didn't want to let them down by reducing the numbers of our group. There are still 5 of us rolling along hitting the 8 months mark.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Damn, I will never catch up!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Montreal
Posts: 85
Great idea! I'm competitive and this sounds like great motivation. I quit drinking but have smoked weed 4 times, including tonight (which I feel ****** about and posted eslewhere).
I discovered tonight that I now actually hate being high and am re-committed to quitting both weed and aolcohol! I much prefer being sober.
I consider tomorrow day 1 again
I discovered tonight that I now actually hate being high and am re-committed to quitting both weed and aolcohol! I much prefer being sober.
I consider tomorrow day 1 again
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 69
Can I join? I`m on day 11!
Reasons not to drink today:
1. Have to be sober for my NEW(!!yay!!) job, been working 1 week!
2. I am sleeping grrrrreat and BF said I am snoring so much less and not so restless
3. no hangover!
4. no empty bottles/s to have to hide & dispose of
5. I feel great at 5AM sipping coffee! (had to give up before, made me too shakey and queasey)
Reasons not to drink today:
1. Have to be sober for my NEW(!!yay!!) job, been working 1 week!
2. I am sleeping grrrrreat and BF said I am snoring so much less and not so restless
3. no hangover!
4. no empty bottles/s to have to hide & dispose of
5. I feel great at 5AM sipping coffee! (had to give up before, made me too shakey and queasey)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: NJ
Posts: 91
Morning all, bright and early! Welcome Lorraine and Joe! I love to see this grow and not shrink! Congrats to us all to decide to make our lives better!
Wander, I did have a great day with the girls. The drive to pick up my daughter was hard, I ALMOST stopped at the liquor store but managed to get through it. I have to make that drive again today but I'll get through it.
I posted the following in the February 2011 thread as well. I had an interesting morning already.
Good morning and welcome to our group everyone! Today is Day 5 and for a moment there I thought it was Day 1. Let me elaborate. It was a very strange experience but a relieving one at that. My dog woke me up out of a dead sleep around 3:30 because he was whining. I awoke confused and very tired. My first thought was "Ugh, how much did I drink last night" and I tried to recall what happened. This was ALWAYS my first thought after a night of drinking. I realized that I hadn't drank anything and in fact fell asleep watching House. What a great feeling of relief and accomplishment that was.
That experience will be enough motivation for my to get through today! Especially since I had strong, strong thoughts of stopping at the liquor store yesterday which I had to resist. By the way, the method of thinking that helps me get through the cravings the best is to think about how I feel in the morning after drinking and what a waste of a day the next day, week, month is when I go on a bender. I also think about the awful feelings of anxiety associated with drinking. I know everyone uses different techniques but I thought I'd share what works for me.
Five reasons to stay sober today:
1. I need to be on time to pick up my daughter from school
2. I'd like to continue making yummy meals for the kids instead of microwaved fish sticks
3. I don't like sneaking into the bathroom to swig vodka so my girls don't see me drinking (can you believe I've hidden it from a 6 year old thus far?)
4. I want my family to be proud of me for once in my life
5. There are things I want to accomplish in the following years dang it!
Anyway, have a wonderful, sober day everyone!
Wander, I did have a great day with the girls. The drive to pick up my daughter was hard, I ALMOST stopped at the liquor store but managed to get through it. I have to make that drive again today but I'll get through it.
I posted the following in the February 2011 thread as well. I had an interesting morning already.
Good morning and welcome to our group everyone! Today is Day 5 and for a moment there I thought it was Day 1. Let me elaborate. It was a very strange experience but a relieving one at that. My dog woke me up out of a dead sleep around 3:30 because he was whining. I awoke confused and very tired. My first thought was "Ugh, how much did I drink last night" and I tried to recall what happened. This was ALWAYS my first thought after a night of drinking. I realized that I hadn't drank anything and in fact fell asleep watching House. What a great feeling of relief and accomplishment that was.
That experience will be enough motivation for my to get through today! Especially since I had strong, strong thoughts of stopping at the liquor store yesterday which I had to resist. By the way, the method of thinking that helps me get through the cravings the best is to think about how I feel in the morning after drinking and what a waste of a day the next day, week, month is when I go on a bender. I also think about the awful feelings of anxiety associated with drinking. I know everyone uses different techniques but I thought I'd share what works for me.
Five reasons to stay sober today:
1. I need to be on time to pick up my daughter from school
2. I'd like to continue making yummy meals for the kids instead of microwaved fish sticks
3. I don't like sneaking into the bathroom to swig vodka so my girls don't see me drinking (can you believe I've hidden it from a 6 year old thus far?)
4. I want my family to be proud of me for once in my life
5. There are things I want to accomplish in the following years dang it!
Anyway, have a wonderful, sober day everyone!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Il
Posts: 144
Morning all, Day 6 here I come.. I plan on making it an easy one, of course I always plan that.
Hey Joe, I tried the Pot thing to help quit as well.. it actually made it harder for me, the second I would smoke I would want a drink event worse. But welcome back to day 1. Just think by tomorrow you'll already be on day 2.
By the Tomato you might want to sneak those microwave fish sticks in some times. I Love fish sticks!
well lets make today a winning day.
Hey Joe, I tried the Pot thing to help quit as well.. it actually made it harder for me, the second I would smoke I would want a drink event worse. But welcome back to day 1. Just think by tomorrow you'll already be on day 2.
By the Tomato you might want to sneak those microwave fish sticks in some times. I Love fish sticks!
well lets make today a winning day.
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