FrothyJay

You drink because you are a Grade A alcoholic. The rest is drama and backstory. Yes, I know it's harder to get sober among drunks, but they aren't the reason you will take your next drink. Your alcoholism is the reason.

Alcoholism needs to be treated at the cause, not at the symptom. If it's dealt with there, you'll be able to remain sober anywhere, anytime, for as long as you want.

But if you believe that sobriety is about child-proofing your world so that it's harder for you to get drunk, you are underestimating your disease.

It's an inside job. Yes, it would be easier if the outside world cooperated, but it rarely does. No one is going to say having a bunch of unreliable roommates was sufficient reason to drink yourself to death.

Get to work on your disease, with a sponsor.

From what you described, you drink with a fatalistic ferociousness. So did I. It kills quicker than the slow death by cirrhosis and delirium tremens (DTs).

It will be clear that you understand how much trouble you are in when you are urgently focused on your personal recovery regardless of the outside drama.

ste

What FrothyJay said, no sugar coating. Its a hard pill to swallow, but your life is at stake.

BellaTeal

Thank you all for replying. I really appreciate it!

After this one, I do want to quit. I think I'm finally ready.

Yes, inpatient is always a possibility but I'm very new to the IOP thing and I don't know if it will work for me yet. I have to give it more time.

Nope, no more! I didn't realize having it around was actually creating intense anxiety, not relieving it. Thanks for the prayers and hugs!

BellaTeal

Wow, really? I feel so out of place in my IOP because most people have been sober for at least a month (some 5 months or more) and it seems like out of 35 people, an opiate addict and I are the only ones slipping all the time! In my program, attending meetings is a requirement.

Yep. If I'm around drinkers but really want sobriety, I'll stay sober. Along similar lines, I know if I'm around sober people but am hell-bent on drinking, I'm gonna drink. It would be nice to have sober people around right now, though, because I kind of feel scared and alone.

I absolutely understand and agree. I'm only on day 6, though, and I would feel more comfortable if I had completely sober people and no booze around me at this time. I'd have a better chance at making it through the very early days. After that it's up to me. My friends and bf were only going to quit for a month anyway (I forgot to mention that). And I haven't even told my roommates that I'm trying to stay sober.

reggiewayne

Bottoms NEVER kept me sober. They often got me sober, but never maintained it. The only thing that has been able to keep me sober is AA. It says on page 44, "Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem".

Left on my own, I will always justify a reason to drink. I always have. Even with AA I find my body wanting the ease and comfort that come immediately with a few drinks.

I would suggest (like others have) of getting involved in recovery. The bottom you speak of can serve you well as to jumpstart you into recovery, but from experience it alone won't keep us there.

Best of luck to you!

ItsMe23

Idk, i do not think you should put your sobriety on other people. It is your issue and if your "all in it together" what happens when they return to drinking. Honestly with the problem of drinking, just don't drink, that is the solution. There is no magic spell here, if you do not pick up your first you will not drink a handle. When you are finally ready you will make the progress you need in your life.

Sorry its kind of a blunt post...

BellaTeal

Ok, I would like to say a few things. First off, I know I can't put my sobriety in the hands of other people. It's not my friends' job or anyone's job to keep me sober. It's my job. I get that. The advice I got from many people before was to leave my apartment where alcohol was always readilly available and surround myself with sober people. So I did. It was my understanding that my friends and I were all going to stop drinking together. They didn't. Naturally, it came as a shock to me because we were all committed to it last Monday. Things change, sure. OK. Also, I DID NOT ASK THEM to stop; they DECIDED ON THEIR OWN that they'd stop...and only for a few weeks.

Last time I tried to quit I stayed in my apartment with the wine and the vodka and the crazy roommates. I didn't even tell my bf until my second day sober that I was trying to stop and he didn't stop drinking nor did I want him to. I just asked him to not do it around me. I think that's fair. That time, though, I only made it to day 6 so I thought I'd try something more proactive this time but it didn't exactly go as planned. So I found out my friends didn't change and I had a mini freak-out because I thought it meant I was doomed to fail like last time. I quickly realized it doesn't.

But anyway, now I'm being told that it shouldn't matter what environment I'm in? I'm sorry, but I'm kinda confused. I don't want alcohol in my presence at all right now because I don't know if I can handle it.

Quite the winded and unorganized post...sorry!
On to day 7 now

Dee74

I still think this is good advice

Like I've said before, living with drinkers does make it harder IMO - our environment does have an impact on us.

Those who'll tell you it shouldn't matter at all are maybe speaking from a place some distance away from day 6 I think.

So yeah, I think a sober house is of great benefit to someone trying to get into recovery - but if you can't have that, a good support system and a solid recovery structure is the next best thing

There are lots of ppl here who live with drinkers...and they stay sober - because they do the work they need to do to stay sober

Keep working - don't let living with drinkers become an excuse bella
D

least

I lived alone and drank alone, so my biggest challenge was learning to not drink even tho I was the only one who would know it.

It was hard to do and took many attempts but I did finally 'get it'. In my opinion it's not so much the environment you live in as it is your determination to not drink. Not to minimize the effects of living with drinkers, but if you are determined to stay sober all the booze in the world won't tempt you to drink. Just my two cents...

artsoul

Hi Bella - I really feel for you - what a disappointment. I'm wondering if you could talk to everybody (since they're your friends) and come up with a compromise of some sort where you could at least feel like the alcohol was out of sight/mind........(?)

Not sure what else you could do other than move out....... Whether you know it or not, I'm sure your staying sober is having an impact on how they think about their own drinking.

Don't forget to take it a day at a time too.......

Dukefan

Good Luck to you! I hope you don't have an episode like you experienced over the week, it did sound a little scary. I will keep you in my prayers, wishing you the best!