First post, another day 1
clinging to success
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 26
First post, another day 1
Hello all,
I have been coming to the forums off and on for the past year, and the ability to come to a place where there are so many people just like me, going through the same daily battles, has been very.....I guess comforting to me. So although this is my first post, thanks to all for the very positive and helpful posts here.
I am a single male, just shy of my 25th birthday. I enjoyed drinking from about age 18, but it really became a huge part of my daily life in college. I graduated a little over 3 years ago, and while I am not sure my drinking has gotten more in quantity in that time, my body's reaction to it and the effects it has had on my life have certainly gotten worse. I would say I am 'highly functional', I have a successful professional life, and recently bought a house.
Like many others, I have gone through many bouts of trying to taper off my drinking, and to moderate my intake. Of course, it always seems to ramp back up until I am drunk every night (and not the "fun" kind like back when I was 18), and horribly hungover every morning. It certainly impacts my work performance, and until I tried to quite drinking completely a few months ago, I didn't realize how physically dependent my body has become to alcohol.
I have made it about 3 weeks without a drink twice now, and I am amazed at how well I sleep, how much better my workouts are, and how great I feel when I am sober. Why I end up stopping at the store and buyng alcohol, which does nothing but make me feel terrible and ruin my day, is beyond me. I have never before made the decision that I need to cut alcohol out of my life completely and forever, but that is where I am now.
So here is my day 1. I feel aweful, and just picked up a prescription for antibiotics for a sinus infection. I am starting this thread to give me a place to post and a place to reflect when I lose sight of why I need to stop.
I just finished reading Caroline Knapp's "Drinking", and am about to start on "Beyond the Influence". If anyone has other book suggestions I am all ears, I have found that my evenings seem very long when sober, so I have taken to lots of reading....
OB
I have been coming to the forums off and on for the past year, and the ability to come to a place where there are so many people just like me, going through the same daily battles, has been very.....I guess comforting to me. So although this is my first post, thanks to all for the very positive and helpful posts here.
I am a single male, just shy of my 25th birthday. I enjoyed drinking from about age 18, but it really became a huge part of my daily life in college. I graduated a little over 3 years ago, and while I am not sure my drinking has gotten more in quantity in that time, my body's reaction to it and the effects it has had on my life have certainly gotten worse. I would say I am 'highly functional', I have a successful professional life, and recently bought a house.
Like many others, I have gone through many bouts of trying to taper off my drinking, and to moderate my intake. Of course, it always seems to ramp back up until I am drunk every night (and not the "fun" kind like back when I was 18), and horribly hungover every morning. It certainly impacts my work performance, and until I tried to quite drinking completely a few months ago, I didn't realize how physically dependent my body has become to alcohol.
I have made it about 3 weeks without a drink twice now, and I am amazed at how well I sleep, how much better my workouts are, and how great I feel when I am sober. Why I end up stopping at the store and buyng alcohol, which does nothing but make me feel terrible and ruin my day, is beyond me. I have never before made the decision that I need to cut alcohol out of my life completely and forever, but that is where I am now.
So here is my day 1. I feel aweful, and just picked up a prescription for antibiotics for a sinus infection. I am starting this thread to give me a place to post and a place to reflect when I lose sight of why I need to stop.
I just finished reading Caroline Knapp's "Drinking", and am about to start on "Beyond the Influence". If anyone has other book suggestions I am all ears, I have found that my evenings seem very long when sober, so I have taken to lots of reading....
OB
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi outwardbound
I kept making that insane decision too, over and over.
What really helped me was reaching out for support, doing tangible things to break the cycle...whether it's posting here, or going to AA or some other recovery group like SMART...counselling maybe....even something as simple as going a different way so as to not past that store....
make a break - you find a lot of support here
Welcome!
D
I kept making that insane decision too, over and over.
What really helped me was reaching out for support, doing tangible things to break the cycle...whether it's posting here, or going to AA or some other recovery group like SMART...counselling maybe....even something as simple as going a different way so as to not past that store....
make a break - you find a lot of support here
Welcome!
D
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Hi, and welcome!
I recently had antibiotics for a sinus infection---so I feel your pain! Hope it starts to work quickly. In any case, you'll be much better off not drinking with the meds.
I liked the Caroline Knapp and Under the Influence. One book that I found useful for day to day situations was "Living Sober" which I got for free at an AA open meeting. I wouldn't call myself an AA person as I've only been to a few, but I'm looking around to see what recovery strategies work for me. I've also been reading up on mindfulness meditation, although that may not be of interest to you---i find it is useful in terms of "letting go" of some old baggage, including ways of being while I was drinking.
Good luck, and keep posting and reading.
D
I recently had antibiotics for a sinus infection---so I feel your pain! Hope it starts to work quickly. In any case, you'll be much better off not drinking with the meds.
I liked the Caroline Knapp and Under the Influence. One book that I found useful for day to day situations was "Living Sober" which I got for free at an AA open meeting. I wouldn't call myself an AA person as I've only been to a few, but I'm looking around to see what recovery strategies work for me. I've also been reading up on mindfulness meditation, although that may not be of interest to you---i find it is useful in terms of "letting go" of some old baggage, including ways of being while I was drinking.
Good luck, and keep posting and reading.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Victoria
Posts: 143
welcome to SR outwardbound
glad you've made the decision to stop drinking and move forward in you life.
l too was a functioning alcoholic but was not living up to my full potential, now l am sober l am free to make choices, enjoy my life and be in the "here and now"
Looking forward to reading your posts as you travel on your sobriety journey
glad you've made the decision to stop drinking and move forward in you life.
l too was a functioning alcoholic but was not living up to my full potential, now l am sober l am free to make choices, enjoy my life and be in the "here and now"
Looking forward to reading your posts as you travel on your sobriety journey
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Well, good for you to make this positive forever decision!
I'm assuming you are alone? It is so much easier to relapse alone...you need support -be in here or AA.
I'm currently going to a 6 week rehab program 3 nights a week 35 miles away...I love it.
But back to the alone thang...I recently moved (separated 6 months now) and I thought WOW, HEY...I can do whatever I want. No one is here to rant and rave aout my drinking. YIPPEE
Well, I started with a few beers when my 10pm shift was over, then a couple before I went to work at 2 and one when I'd come home for break...then I started hitting up the whiskey...that's when I lost it again...and lost my job.
So...point of the story? Just quit! LOL
I'm assuming you are alone? It is so much easier to relapse alone...you need support -be in here or AA.
I'm currently going to a 6 week rehab program 3 nights a week 35 miles away...I love it.
But back to the alone thang...I recently moved (separated 6 months now) and I thought WOW, HEY...I can do whatever I want. No one is here to rant and rave aout my drinking. YIPPEE
Well, I started with a few beers when my 10pm shift was over, then a couple before I went to work at 2 and one when I'd come home for break...then I started hitting up the whiskey...that's when I lost it again...and lost my job.
So...point of the story? Just quit! LOL
clinging to success
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 26
Haha thanks emeraldrose! How did you find the program you are in? I am poking around on my healthcare provider's website to see what they offer, just swapped health insurance and haven't even seen a doctor in person there yet.
OB
OB
Not waving, but drowning
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 423
Originally Posted by OutwardBound 
Thanks for all of the encouraging words.
I am looking forward to working as hard as I can to start enjoying mornings again.
Danae: will order that book tonight!
OB
I am looking forward to working as hard as I can to start enjoying mornings again.
Danae: will order that book tonight!
OB
Take a look online and see if you like the look of it first. As I said, I was given it at an open AA meeting (I finally dragged myself to one!) along with the Big Book. I was going to decline (why would I need this?) but accepted the books so as not to hurt their feelings! I have found myself reading and underlining to see what speaks to me.
I'm a reader, so I understand the need to immerse yourself in new ideas. Let us know what other books you find useful, I look forward to hearing more.
D
clinging to success
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 26
Day 2, drinking some club soda with lemon and watching the Heat destroy the Kings. Slept well last night, and feel much better today. Have had a couple cravings today but they pass quickly.
Definitely feels easier physically to not drink after deciding I was "good to go" and drank 2 days in a row after about 20 off. Feeling strong, can't wait for the antibiotics to kick in so I can get back into the gym and clear my head after work...
Here's to being back tomorrow to mark day 3.
OB
Definitely feels easier physically to not drink after deciding I was "good to go" and drank 2 days in a row after about 20 off. Feeling strong, can't wait for the antibiotics to kick in so I can get back into the gym and clear my head after work...
Here's to being back tomorrow to mark day 3.
OB
clinging to success
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 26
Day 5 and feeling good!
Some crazy dreams about drinking last night. I was excited to wake up sober and feeling wide awake. How sad is it to dream about alcohol? I have had those before but never thought about how messed up that seems until today.
Some crazy dreams about drinking last night. I was excited to wake up sober and feeling wide awake. How sad is it to dream about alcohol? I have had those before but never thought about how messed up that seems until today.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Congratulations on day 5!
I had a few pretty vivid dreams early on, and still occasionally get a drinking dream. I guess as long as we wake up sober, it's OK! Takes a few minutes to shake it off, though.
Keep going strong - one day at a time......
I had a few pretty vivid dreams early on, and still occasionally get a drinking dream. I guess as long as we wake up sober, it's OK! Takes a few minutes to shake it off, though.
Keep going strong - one day at a time......
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
