Help!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Quincy, IL
Posts: 1
Help!!!!!
Ok. Here it goes. I'm not sure what clicked when I turned 21, even though I was drinking way before then, around 18 is when it became a problem. I wasn't blacking out or anything, but I would, only sometimes, drink until it made me sick. The first time I ever blacked out was on my 21st birthday and it has been escalating ever since. When I drink, usually, I cannot have just one or two. I start with the best of intentions to honestly not drink too much, but after about 4 (depending on how much I ate that day) something inside clicks. I come from a town of alcoholics (or at least it seems that way) and most people drink. All of my friends and family are heavy drinkers.
I am in a relationship with an amazing person and we've been together for 5 years and my addiction is ruining our relationship. We both come from very heavy drinking families and he doesn't really drink (only socially) and has no problem not drinking and he is my greatest motivator in doing this but I fear that I might have torn things up too much to salvage. He is the love of my life and has done everything in his power to help me and I've broken his heart too many times to count. I'd go out to have a drink, usually while he was at work, and then would end up not answering when he got off work and he wouldn't know what I am doing or where I am. Or if I was drinking with him, I'd turn into the meanest person anyone has ever met. This has been going on 3 to 6 times a month for the past 2 1/2 years and I feel terrible every day about what I have put him through.
I've tried to quit many times, but it seems that after about a week I think, "I can handle one" or "I don't have a problem" or "I'm all better now" and then I go to have one or two, then end up on an all night (sometimes up to 16 hours) drinking. I stop answering my phone to my boyfriend, I spend WAY too much money, and I drive around from bar to bar. I'll end up stumbling home in the wee hours of the morning with my tail between my legs and completely hammered. I've gone through a ton of phones, broken a window, broke a glass coffee table, hit a garage, and many other things. My boyfriend is at the end of his rope (my last "incident" was Saturday night, I was suppose to stay home but ended up going out at 2 until 4 or 5 in the morning) and I don't know if he's going to let me back in his life again. I NEED TO CHANGE NOW AND I NEED HELP!!!
My schedule doesn't allow for much time to do AA meetings but I'm going to start seeing a therapist. I feel that I don't get the support I need each time I try to quit. Also, I have to get adjusted to being alone (I hate being alone and sometimes I go out just for the company) and I need to find things to do to keep from boredom. I am hoping that I can get support for some of you out there and get the help I need to be successful and save myself. I cannot keep going on this path that I am on and a change needs to happen now. I cannot keep bottling everything I feel up and I have to be able to admit I have a problem, even though I FEEL like admitting it makes me weak or people look down on it. But, I'm here and I'm ready to say "I NEED HELP!" So, hello SoberRecovery and HEEEEEELP!!!
I am in a relationship with an amazing person and we've been together for 5 years and my addiction is ruining our relationship. We both come from very heavy drinking families and he doesn't really drink (only socially) and has no problem not drinking and he is my greatest motivator in doing this but I fear that I might have torn things up too much to salvage. He is the love of my life and has done everything in his power to help me and I've broken his heart too many times to count. I'd go out to have a drink, usually while he was at work, and then would end up not answering when he got off work and he wouldn't know what I am doing or where I am. Or if I was drinking with him, I'd turn into the meanest person anyone has ever met. This has been going on 3 to 6 times a month for the past 2 1/2 years and I feel terrible every day about what I have put him through.
I've tried to quit many times, but it seems that after about a week I think, "I can handle one" or "I don't have a problem" or "I'm all better now" and then I go to have one or two, then end up on an all night (sometimes up to 16 hours) drinking. I stop answering my phone to my boyfriend, I spend WAY too much money, and I drive around from bar to bar. I'll end up stumbling home in the wee hours of the morning with my tail between my legs and completely hammered. I've gone through a ton of phones, broken a window, broke a glass coffee table, hit a garage, and many other things. My boyfriend is at the end of his rope (my last "incident" was Saturday night, I was suppose to stay home but ended up going out at 2 until 4 or 5 in the morning) and I don't know if he's going to let me back in his life again. I NEED TO CHANGE NOW AND I NEED HELP!!!
My schedule doesn't allow for much time to do AA meetings but I'm going to start seeing a therapist. I feel that I don't get the support I need each time I try to quit. Also, I have to get adjusted to being alone (I hate being alone and sometimes I go out just for the company) and I need to find things to do to keep from boredom. I am hoping that I can get support for some of you out there and get the help I need to be successful and save myself. I cannot keep going on this path that I am on and a change needs to happen now. I cannot keep bottling everything I feel up and I have to be able to admit I have a problem, even though I FEEL like admitting it makes me weak or people look down on it. But, I'm here and I'm ready to say "I NEED HELP!" So, hello SoberRecovery and HEEEEEELP!!!
Last edited by Sayraa24; 02-21-2011 at 12:42 PM. Reason: WAY TOO LONG! =(
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Your drinking history is something I can relate to as I am sure many can here on SR. You are to be commended for wanting to get help at such a young age.
SR has been very helpful to me, but AA is how I got sober. I just cannot understand the rejection of AA before you have even tried it (I don't mean this directed at you, it just seems like every new person we get here recently has already rejected AA). If you have time to get drunk, you have time for AA meetings.
You don't have to use AA to get sober, but whatever you do to get sober will take a lot of time and effort.
SR has been very helpful to me, but AA is how I got sober. I just cannot understand the rejection of AA before you have even tried it (I don't mean this directed at you, it just seems like every new person we get here recently has already rejected AA). If you have time to get drunk, you have time for AA meetings.
You don't have to use AA to get sober, but whatever you do to get sober will take a lot of time and effort.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
dgillz said what I was about to say. AA meetings take WAY less time than the time I spent drinking (or recovering from a night/weekend of drinking).
And that includes hanging out and talking to people or going out for coffee after the meeting.
And that includes hanging out and talking to people or going out for coffee after the meeting.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Sayraa24
Welcome
I don't do AA but I agree with these guys - whatever you do will take time...but much less time than you spent drinking.
You can change your life - many of us have done it....
I really believe with recovery tho you get out what you put in, so make it a priority
D
Welcome
I don't do AA but I agree with these guys - whatever you do will take time...but much less time than you spent drinking.
You can change your life - many of us have done it....
I really believe with recovery tho you get out what you put in, so make it a priority
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
Welcome to the best recovery site everywhere. No matter what you do to get and stay sober, put your best effort into it. Therapy is a great idea. I see an addiction counselor myself, once a week, and she's been a great help in all areas of my life, not just staying sober. I wish you the best. Living sober really rocks.
This part really scared me. I hope you won't drink and drive anymore, it's an accident waiting to happen.
No matter what you do to get and stay sober, put your best effort into it. Therapy is a great idea. I see an addiction counselor myself, once a week, and she's been a great help in all areas of my life, not just staying sober. I wish you the best. Living sober really rocks.
and I drive around from bar to bar.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: SE Michigan
Posts: 1,066
Welcome Sayraa.
If you had time to drink and go to bars, you have time for AA, just saying. Drinking consumed afternoons, evenings, entire weekends...AA is an hour here and there. Don't try to ******** bullshitters. We're too hip to buy excuses. If not AA, a counselor is good.
Admitting is not weak, it takes guts, so good for you!
If you had time to drink and go to bars, you have time for AA, just saying.
Drinking consumed afternoons, evenings, entire weekends...AA is an hour here and there. Don't try to ******** bullshitters. We're too hip to buy excuses. If not AA, a counselor is good.Admitting is not weak, it takes guts, so good for you!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome to the forum - glad you're here and wanting to get out of the vicious cycle. It took lots of failed attempts at moderation for me to see my alcoholism for what it was.
We understand what it's like to be standing at that turning point. The good news is that with help, you don't have to live this way anymore. Hope you'll keep reading and posting!
We understand what it's like to be standing at that turning point. The good news is that with help, you don't have to live this way anymore. Hope you'll keep reading and posting!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,474
Hi Sayraa, welcome to SR and well done on taking the hardest step.... admitting to yourself you need to change.
I dont go to AA, I have tried and I agree with lots of people that it is a fantastice way forward for many. Most importantly, for me at least, has been to get face to face support. I see and addiction counsellor and it is incredibly helpful... but it does take a lot of hard work also getting and staying sober.
I'm new to it, so listen to all those others here that have far more sobriety than I have, they have all helped me incredibly.....i would have picked up by now I am sure wothout this place and these wonderful people.
Goodluck and let us know how you are doing.
I dont go to AA, I have tried and I agree with lots of people that it is a fantastice way forward for many. Most importantly, for me at least, has been to get face to face support. I see and addiction counsellor and it is incredibly helpful... but it does take a lot of hard work also getting and staying sober.
I'm new to it, so listen to all those others here that have far more sobriety than I have, they have all helped me incredibly.....i would have picked up by now I am sure wothout this place and these wonderful people.
Goodluck and let us know how you are doing.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome. You are in the right place. I too never had time for AA. But I did have time to drink booze 4 days per week and spend the other three recovering from it. Just please know this, the way you see life will change once you get some sober time under your belt.
One thing I've learned in sobriety is, "It's not what we say, it's what we do". I was always saying I needed help, but when I was drinking I did nothing to change my drinking. I too went to a counsler and I would sit there and pour my heart out to a very nice woman who (although I'm sure she was doing her best) couldn't really help me.
AA has a solution. It's not the only solution, but it's the only one that has worked for me. If you want to learn more about AA check out this link http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?...category&id=13. The guys speaking are Joe and Charlie. Just a couple of old men who read and interpret the big book to you. The carry the AA message well. If you like what you hear, just know you can be a part of it. It all starts by "googleing" where AA meetings are held in your area.
I wish you the best. You can get better, it just takes honesty and hard work. Hang in there!
One thing I've learned in sobriety is, "It's not what we say, it's what we do". I was always saying I needed help, but when I was drinking I did nothing to change my drinking. I too went to a counsler and I would sit there and pour my heart out to a very nice woman who (although I'm sure she was doing her best) couldn't really help me.
AA has a solution. It's not the only solution, but it's the only one that has worked for me. If you want to learn more about AA check out this link http://xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?...category&id=13. The guys speaking are Joe and Charlie. Just a couple of old men who read and interpret the big book to you. The carry the AA message well. If you like what you hear, just know you can be a part of it. It all starts by "googleing" where AA meetings are held in your area.
I wish you the best. You can get better, it just takes honesty and hard work. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome. You are in the right place. I too never had time for AA. But I did have time to drink booze 4 days per week and spend the other three recovering from it. Just please know this, the way you see life will change once you get some sober time under your belt.
One thing I've learned in sobriety is, "It's not what we say, it's what we do". I was always saying I needed help, but when I was drinking I did nothing to change my drinking. I too went to a counsler and I would sit there and pour my heart out to a very nice woman who (although I'm sure she was doing her best) couldn't really help me.
AA has a solution. It's not the only solution, but it's the only one that has worked for me. If you want to learn more about AA check out this link XA-Speakers - The lights are on!. The guys speaking are Joe and Charlie. Just a couple of old men who read and interpret the big book to you. The carry the AA message well. If you like what you hear, just know you can be a part of it. It all starts by "googleing" where AA meetings are held in your area.
I wish you the best. You can get better, it just takes honesty and hard work. Hang in there!
One thing I've learned in sobriety is, "It's not what we say, it's what we do". I was always saying I needed help, but when I was drinking I did nothing to change my drinking. I too went to a counsler and I would sit there and pour my heart out to a very nice woman who (although I'm sure she was doing her best) couldn't really help me.
AA has a solution. It's not the only solution, but it's the only one that has worked for me. If you want to learn more about AA check out this link XA-Speakers - The lights are on!. The guys speaking are Joe and Charlie. Just a couple of old men who read and interpret the big book to you. The carry the AA message well. If you like what you hear, just know you can be a part of it. It all starts by "googleing" where AA meetings are held in your area.
I wish you the best. You can get better, it just takes honesty and hard work. Hang in there!
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