Sobriety possible without AA?
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi dancer - just wanted to add my welcome!
I went to AA for years, relapsed twice, and am now sober for 9 months using a daily dose of this forum. Sometimes I check in twice a day. Even though it's not f2f, I really feel a connection......
The important thing is our willingness to do "whatever it takes" to stay sober. Having lots of support at our disposal just makes it that much easier.
Glad you're breaking the cycle - things really will get better in sobriety.
I went to AA for years, relapsed twice, and am now sober for 9 months using a daily dose of this forum. Sometimes I check in twice a day. Even though it's not f2f, I really feel a connection......
The important thing is our willingness to do "whatever it takes" to stay sober. Having lots of support at our disposal just makes it that much easier.
Glad you're breaking the cycle - things really will get better in sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
Dancer, yes it as possible, and I am doing it quite happily. The hardest part for me were the first 2 months, and that is where I think face to face support of AA could be very beneficial. Once you get over that hump, and you have a daily plan in place to basically keep your thought process about alcohol in check, I think one can become happily sober forever.
But if you have no aversion to the method of AA and you have seen family members being successful in the program, the fear "of putting it out there" shouldn't keep you away from the program. First off it is anonimous. If you really want to quit don't let the uncomfortableness in your first meeting keep you from getting on the path of sobriety. You need to take some sort of action if you are serious about it, and the first meeting would be a great step in that direction.
But if you have no aversion to the method of AA and you have seen family members being successful in the program, the fear "of putting it out there" shouldn't keep you away from the program. First off it is anonimous. If you really want to quit don't let the uncomfortableness in your first meeting keep you from getting on the path of sobriety. You need to take some sort of action if you are serious about it, and the first meeting would be a great step in that direction.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 34
I wouldn't recommend trying to do it without AA. Don't get me wrong this site is a GREAT tool. But it's just one of many you will need to use if you want to remain sober. Being sober is about learning to live a new life and that is what AA is all about. There are other programs besides AA none are anywhere near as successful or widespread. A lot of people are reluctant to try AA but after a few days of being there they realize why it is so important. Everyones recovery is there own, but its a lifetime process. AA helps you remember that.
Im pretty against advising against AA. I think it is a really important part of sobriety. If you really want to change you can't do it on your own. I heard this saying in treatment all the time "The same person will drink again". I'm not saying you HAVE to do AA but the research shows that most people who don't they eventually end up there because they hit a new lower bottom. I hope that doesn't happen to any of you guys who are saying you have gotten sober without AA, but its a reality. I'm not saying you have to go your whole life, but in early recovery it is key.
You will always be in recovery. AA is one way to remind yourself of that. I don't like when people say they have "recovered" you don't recover from this disease. You can put it into remission, but if you forget about it, it will rear its ugly head. Try AA at least. If you don't like it that's fair. I went into it thinking I was going to hate it and that it was the complete wrong thing for me. What I realized after my first meeting was how important it was.
Im pretty against advising against AA. I think it is a really important part of sobriety. If you really want to change you can't do it on your own. I heard this saying in treatment all the time "The same person will drink again". I'm not saying you HAVE to do AA but the research shows that most people who don't they eventually end up there because they hit a new lower bottom. I hope that doesn't happen to any of you guys who are saying you have gotten sober without AA, but its a reality. I'm not saying you have to go your whole life, but in early recovery it is key.
You will always be in recovery. AA is one way to remind yourself of that. I don't like when people say they have "recovered" you don't recover from this disease. You can put it into remission, but if you forget about it, it will rear its ugly head. Try AA at least. If you don't like it that's fair. I went into it thinking I was going to hate it and that it was the complete wrong thing for me. What I realized after my first meeting was how important it was.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 1,591
Dancer, that question comes up fairly often here.
I'm at 15 months now and I haven't been to AA. I went to meetings 10 years ago, but I wasn't ready to quit back then. I just stopped on my own - which I always hesitate to word that way out of a precaution about being arrogant or without humility, but it's true. If it was more than just me, then God acted through me or gave me the strength to do it. He's the only one with the definitive word on that.
After I quit, I was baffled about how I was able to make it past a couple of months and I had questions. I had never gone that long with no drinking for at least a decade. I wondered what other people had to say about their experience and found this site a little over a year ago. Since then I've been coming back to the site often. By coming to this site I expose myself to thinking from a variety of sources, including people who use AA. I also look at the AA Big Book sometimes.
I don't know whether I will stay this way (stay away from drinking) or continue to get better, but time has rolled on since I quit. Sobriety and recovery are often differentiated here. In other words, quitting is one thing and staying that way because we have worked successfully through the things that supported the addiction in the first place is something else. I keep that in mind, and I also think about the fact that it would most likely only take one drink to ruin everything all over again. I would probably just drink until I died, and I don't want to live out the rest of my life that way or to die from direct complications from drinking either. I am sticking with my change so far.
I think everybody has to find what works for them.
I'm at 15 months now and I haven't been to AA. I went to meetings 10 years ago, but I wasn't ready to quit back then. I just stopped on my own - which I always hesitate to word that way out of a precaution about being arrogant or without humility, but it's true. If it was more than just me, then God acted through me or gave me the strength to do it. He's the only one with the definitive word on that.
After I quit, I was baffled about how I was able to make it past a couple of months and I had questions. I had never gone that long with no drinking for at least a decade. I wondered what other people had to say about their experience and found this site a little over a year ago. Since then I've been coming back to the site often. By coming to this site I expose myself to thinking from a variety of sources, including people who use AA. I also look at the AA Big Book sometimes.
I don't know whether I will stay this way (stay away from drinking) or continue to get better, but time has rolled on since I quit. Sobriety and recovery are often differentiated here. In other words, quitting is one thing and staying that way because we have worked successfully through the things that supported the addiction in the first place is something else. I keep that in mind, and I also think about the fact that it would most likely only take one drink to ruin everything all over again. I would probably just drink until I died, and I don't want to live out the rest of my life that way or to die from direct complications from drinking either. I am sticking with my change so far.
I think everybody has to find what works for them.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
I feel it is paramount to point out, the program of recovery is not found in meetings.
On pg 39, the last sentence in the 12 x 12 it says, "More sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and by attendance at a few meetings is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a FAR CRY from permanent sobriety and a contended, useful life".
The program of recovery is found in the taking of the Steps as a way of life, the application of spiritual principles. Not working the Steps as commonly referred to. The BB says, taking the steps. It becomes a way of life.
If you obtain the proper guidance with a sponsor who has taken the Steps, resulting in a psychic change/spiritual awakening who will guide you to the same result, you will have a life beyond your wildest dreams.
I CHANGE. I become a new person, I build a new character......all I ever wanted.
Here is just one example of what the program offers me, on pg :
On pg 93 it says: "Courtesy, kindness, justice and love are the keynotes which may bring me into harmony with practically anyone".
I realize there are those non AAer's out there, but if we all were to apply these principles in our lives, we are all prosper!
On pg 39, the last sentence in the 12 x 12 it says, "More sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism and by attendance at a few meetings is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a FAR CRY from permanent sobriety and a contended, useful life".
The program of recovery is found in the taking of the Steps as a way of life, the application of spiritual principles. Not working the Steps as commonly referred to. The BB says, taking the steps. It becomes a way of life.
If you obtain the proper guidance with a sponsor who has taken the Steps, resulting in a psychic change/spiritual awakening who will guide you to the same result, you will have a life beyond your wildest dreams.
I CHANGE. I become a new person, I build a new character......all I ever wanted.
Here is just one example of what the program offers me, on pg :
On pg 93 it says: "Courtesy, kindness, justice and love are the keynotes which may bring me into harmony with practically anyone".
I realize there are those non AAer's out there, but if we all were to apply these principles in our lives, we are all prosper!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
On pg 93 it says: "Courtesy, kindness, justice and love are the keynotes which may bring me into harmony with practically anyone".
I realize there are those non AAer's out there, but if we all were to apply these principles in our lives, we are all prosper!
I agree, but the traits of courtesy, kindness, justice and love are not mutually exclusive to only AA members. And even some alcoholics practice those traits daily. I happened to learn those traits from my parents and try to practice them daily. Just because some people are alcoholics doesn't mean they want to "become a new person" and "build a new character".
I happen to like myself. Am I wrong for not wanting to change as a person? Not looking for an argument, just curious.
I realize there are those non AAer's out there, but if we all were to apply these principles in our lives, we are all prosper!
I agree, but the traits of courtesy, kindness, justice and love are not mutually exclusive to only AA members. And even some alcoholics practice those traits daily. I happened to learn those traits from my parents and try to practice them daily. Just because some people are alcoholics doesn't mean they want to "become a new person" and "build a new character".
I happen to like myself. Am I wrong for not wanting to change as a person? Not looking for an argument, just curious.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Hi dancer1
There are many of us here not in AA. Whatever you do though it's a lot of work - or it should be. I really believe that with recovery you get back what you put in.
If you decide AA's not for you, ok, that's your call - but don't give up on finding whatever it is that does works, whether that be counselling, or SR, or some other recovery group like SMART.
Welcome aboard - you'll find a lot of support here
D
There are many of us here not in AA. Whatever you do though it's a lot of work - or it should be. I really believe that with recovery you get back what you put in.
If you decide AA's not for you, ok, that's your call - but don't give up on finding whatever it is that does works, whether that be counselling, or SR, or some other recovery group like SMART.
Welcome aboard - you'll find a lot of support here
D
Last edited by Dee74; 02-21-2011 at 02:14 PM.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Originally Posted by Supercrew 
I agree, but the traits of courtesy, kindness, justice and love are not mutually exclusive to only AA members.
I don't always practice them well myself, it's a process. And it's a pretty good guess you don't either. Your post is a good example.
Just because some people are alcoholics doesn't mean they want to "become a new person" and "build a new character".
Ditto. All I can say is having been around formal recovery for nearly a decade, I have worked with and known hundreds upon hundreds, including myself that really didn't care much for the person they were when drinking and/or using.
Not looking for an argument
:rotfxko
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal CA
Posts: 1,319
And it's a pretty good guess you don't either. Your post is a good example.
Just because I don't agree with everything in your post doesn't mean you need to insult me. Maybe you should study page 93 a little harder, but whatever makes you feel better about your self 1day.
Just because I don't agree with everything in your post doesn't mean you need to insult me. Maybe you should study page 93 a little harder, but whatever makes you feel better about your self 1day.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
oh I know I need tons of work on me.........and I read it most days, and strive to practice it better and better. I have only barely touched the surface of the possibilities.
Your post set the tone........sorry I engaged. You went off, again, on AA.
Glad you have it all figured out. I don't.
Now the best thing for me to do now is hit the ignore button.
Best to you!
Your post set the tone........sorry I engaged. You went off, again, on AA.
Glad you have it all figured out. I don't.
Now the best thing for me to do now is hit the ignore button.
Best to you!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 336
I didn't read many of the posts so I apologize if I'm redundant.
The only thing I know is that as many times (multiple multiple times) I tried to stop over the years NOTHING worked until I started attending and getting involved with AA and NA.
Does that mean that recovery can't happen without the 12 steps?
It does for me.
The only thing I know is that as many times (multiple multiple times) I tried to stop over the years NOTHING worked until I started attending and getting involved with AA and NA.
Does that mean that recovery can't happen without the 12 steps?
It does for me.
Eating protein and life.
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Just. Plain. Grateful.
Posts: 503
1. Has anyone gotten sober on their own without having to attend AA meetings? 2. If so, how did you do it?
2. Brutal honesty/painful self-inspection, a counselor, God, SR, and engaging in my hobbies and passions...just to name a few.
Recovery, in my opinion, is a verb.
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