undercoverangel

Anybody easily angered in sobriety?

I feel like I'm going crazy some days. Little things that used to slightly annoy me (like a wet toilet seat, all boys in the house), now makes me feel totally enraged! One big reason I got sober is because I felt like I lost myself. I wasn't happy and pleasant to be around unless I was drinking... Well, now I'm turning into a crazy woman. I went off on my poor kid yesterday because he was screaming "obscenities" to his buddies on Xbox. That would normally just annnoy me, now it flips me out.

I feel so mad most days before something even happens to set me off, and I don't even miss drinking! I have no desire right now (knock on wood) but I feel in such utter despair some days. I sure hope these feelings go away or I'll be going to the funny farm pretty soon, completely sober.

GettingStronger2

few thoughts. . .

How long have you been sober? Yes, early in sobriety, the first few weeks or month, i was very irritable. After that, things started to even out. If it has been a while, i would have to ask what are you doing to work on yourself. What are you doing to work on the underlying reasons you became an addict?

in AA/NA, they would say the cause of the rage would be unresolved resentments. Not sure if that is your problem, but worth considering.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

Take care. Take time to rant in a safe place.. .like here! Get it out. Not good to keep it in.

gabagool

Wow, I understand completely. Some people get ugly drunk and other get mellow drunk. Me, I would get ticked off MORE when i was drunk. But, I understand how someone can be so different under different mind sets.

ONe thing though.....When I was drinking, I had much more patience driving (crazy huh, drunk driving, but I was a mellow drunk driver) Now, maybe its just because people become overcautious turtles when ever snow is on the groung, even if the streets are clear, it seems people just shouldn't be given a license and I find myself having to battle myself when I grow impatient.

I think you are more in tune with your feelings now that you can concentrate better, your mind clear of fog............

risckyr

Just remember the only thing you have control over is how you act or react. My sponsor has me write ten things i have no control over and ten thing i have control over every day. PS i dont have kids so i cannot even imagin how frustrating it is. Hang in there, stay sober, read the BB. I like the "acceptance was the answer" story. Pg 407 4th edition. It has helped me so much.

Kjell

Yes, for sure.

When I first got sober, I was mad and angry all the time, but I soon realilzed that these emotions were actually based in fear. Hard to admit, but true.

However, over this last year I've immursed myself in AA (working the steps) and I've never been at more peace with myself in spite of all the turmoil around me.

I'm even actually starting to like myself which is kinda cool.

There is a difference between just not drinking and recovery. Which are you doing?

Kjell

least

My feelings were all over the map when I first got sober. All the feelings I'd kept 'bottled up' were let loose and it really bothered me. But it does settle down with time. I also see an addiction counselor once a week which helps in lots of ways. Besides staying sober, it helps just to have a safe place to vent.

Also, we have a forum here just for whining! So come on over and whine up a storm about wet toilet seats and mouthy kids.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-52-a.html

Toronto68

I remember the first time I got pretty angry after I quit drinking. It was like a staple cutting into the skin and sticking there instead of at least falling back out. I've felt incredible anger during my drinking career for sure, but the newness to the anger post-drinking was impressive, to put it mildly. I haven't been sober that long or been angry that much to be confident in a comparison (ie, which was worse, angry in active addiction or angry free from addiction).

Then this got me thinking about the other side.

I don't feel joy very often, but what I like about the feeling (when I do) is how THAT feels. I acknowledge lots of times I had great feelings during intoxication -and of course I had plenty of fun a long time ago as a drinker - but I like how it naturally just sits there in 3D when in a sober state and doesn't evaporate the way it often did when drunk. There's something more accessible about it. Not sure how to explain it. And I am not a Mr Smiley every minute of the day; seriousness is woven into me for sure.

Hopefully that's something you can look forward to.

newby1961

Your right on track, it sounds like your probably in early recovery less than 6 months I would guess?

I was a wreck for a few years, and now I am on 7 and I still have bouts with anger.

For me I had to reach out and get help I did decide to go to AA and that made a huge difference.

It helped me to journal about it to

And one of the ways I started releasing my anger was I would go for a drive alone with the music cranked and I would do scream therapy OMG how that helped
Hang in there it will get better and keep venting here at SR

Stevie1

undercover...I am right there with you today. I woke up in a foul mood and have stayed there all day...I'm intensely pissed off at everything right now; wound very tight. I've been having dark thoughts about hitting the liquor store (no, not going to.) I've barely spoken to anyone today, although I've spent several hours in the company of others, I was just seething with ill-defined resentment and afraid I'd blow up at someone.

Almost a month sober, people have told me to expect a roller coaster of emotions. I've pondered the five stages of grief. It makes sense that we get pissed off, I am looking at it as part of the process.

Hang in there mama.

Hitekredneck

glad I am not alone today either - it's day 11 for me. I have two huge freakin knots in my kneck. I just woke up with them this morning. I'm really pissed - I don't feel well at all. I don't want anyone around me etc.

I couldn't get to my meeting today b/c "we had things to do". I know that I can't make this all about me and have the family revolve around my schedule, but it sure did set me off today. I found a mtg at 7am tomorrow morning and asked ! if that one would be ok.... and I got a hmmmm, ok that should be fine answer.

I realize I just started to vent about my family. I'm really upset b/c I want to drink, know that I need a mtg and there is no support here right now.

I think I need some of that scream therapy.

Dee74

It's very common.

It's the irritability of withdrawal...but it's not only that - I know I was angry and resentful at the world...that's one of the reasons why I started drinking...stop drinking and that rage came back, tenfold....

I found the best thing to calm that rage was gratitude...for the fact I'd survived my addiction first and foremost...for the things I still had left in my life, for finding this place...

the list was pretty long once I really looked at it...a lot of things I was getting annoyed at kinda shrunk back into perspective

D

LaFemme

Wow Dee...I was just about to write a out gratitude and you beat me to it...lol

Seriously...i am begining to find that gratitude is the most important and powerful tool in my life...I used to think it was love...But without gratitude love isn't half as powerful.

T

coffeenut

Early sobriety I would have chewed your arm off and spit it back atcha. It gets better. Much Better.

spen71

I never thought I was angry until the last week. I have been like a bear with a sore head. Until today when I have been like a zombie.

Boleo

Recovery is NOT DRINKING and feeling good about it.
Abstinence is NOT DRINKING and feeling bad about it.

If you are suffering when NOT DRINKING, then you are still suffering from alcoholism. NOT DRINKING does not treat alcoholism, it just arrests it. Recovery involves so much more than sobriety that those who have not experienced it can't even begin to imagine it.

When I experienced a spiritual awakening, it was the first time in my whole life that I felt comfortable in my own skin without some kind of substance.
I suddenly knew what people mean when they say "Happiness is an inside job".