whiskeyman

i have so much to say but have a few minutes before making supper for the kids.

Am a newbie here but have followed for along time.
the cycle needs to stop and soon.
I attend regular AA meetings (3 times a week) but all the talk about drinking makes me think about it even more.
Had a great experience last nite at a meeting, felt so great had to stop and get a drink.

i dont know what its feels like to not be sober anymore and its only been 3 or 4 years.

I am tired of not being present for my 2 kids and partner and want to feel like i am happy again without the booze.
I tell myself everyday that today is the day. but the truck turns to the LCBO on its own.
I hold my desire chip as i am buyng my vodka saying put it down put it down. but the compulsion is so strong.

I am ranting for now but wanna get back on later.

Zig210

Whiskey man....I am new to this, but this I know...I woke up one day and had enough. Enough of the guilt, enough headaches, feeling so bad I didn't know what to do, HATING myself again for getting wasted with friends. I thank God nothing horrible happened to m or worse someone else while driving. I am on day 11 and have not even considered. Drinking. I hope u find whatever it is that will lead you to getting well.

Dee74

Welcome whiskeyman

I think most of us find anything slightly uncomfortable or challenging leads us to crave a drink for a while.

I hope you'll stick with AA if you find it of benefit....good to have you with us too

D

CarolD

Thanks for decideing to post...>
Blessings to the 4 of you as you move into recovery

When I began my AA steps...I felt a shift in perception
from often shakey sobriety into solid recovery.

Welcome...

least

Welcome to our recovery community. I used to drink too, wine, all day every day. I finally gave it up for good 14 months ago and have never felt better in my life. I hope you can find your way to sobriety. I really like living sober. I think you will too.

Zebra1275

My advice would be to keep going to AA, get a sponsor, and do the steps.

I had to keep going and keep listening before it finally started to sink in. It probably took you awhile to develop your drinking problem and all of the habits and routines that are part of that didn't develop overnight. Likewise, it takes awhile to learn new habits and routines to replace the old one's.

whiskeyman

i know my problem is when i am alone, no kids, no partner, i run out to the booze store.

I make a list and try and do the stuff on my list but it doesnt seen to be enuf, there is a reason to drink whether it is reward or or not

Spawn

to the family

least

I drank at home alone so I had to get comfortable with myself to get sober. I'm home by myself much of the time so have to like myself enough to not drink, even when 'no one' would know - I would know. I hope you can put it down for good. It's worth the effort. And my daily reward for staying sober is waking up feeling good without regrets or remorse.

Stevie1

whiskeyman, I hear ya...solitary drinking is rough.

Whatever you've been doing so far isn't working, time to try something else...if you want to stay with AA, start really working it. Join a different type of group. Get a counselor. Change your habits and hobbies. Something.

Dee74

Hi whiskeyman

Support really helped me - whether it's AA or some other group, or just posting here, or some kind of counselling or outpatient rehab or something...I really urge you to look around for some kind of support network.

D

Horselover

I can feel your struggle because I was there over 2 years ago. I started drinking in my teens and continued into my 40s. I gave some half attempts at quitting and was sober for the pregnancy of my son, but I returned to drinking every time because I too couldn't imagine life without drinking.

Now let's fast forward to today. I am sober, happy and at peace. If you ever tried to tell me this was possible just over 2 years ago I would have said yeah right. You must have me mistaken with someone else.

Well its true and it will happen IF you do the work and it is work. It is work that you will thank yourself for. Its easy when the urge hits to go to the store and buy that liquor, but its work to find something else to do until that urge passes. You need to change your thoughts about it. There are a lot of people here that have recovered and started at the same starting line that you are at. If we can do it then ANYONE can do it. Sounds cliche, but its very true!

I wish you lots of peace and determination. Glad you posted.

artsoul

Hi whiskeyman - glad you posted.... I used to feel like a robot too, automatically going for more alcohol when I had promised I would stop drinking that day. Seeing it happen over and over and over again convinced me that I might as well not pretend like tomorrow was going to be any different.

There is no willpower strong enough to take the obsession away. The only way to get rid of it is to get help and make sobriety the most important thing in your life. The good news is that once we stop feeding the robot, it begins to fade into the background and the sanity returns.

If we can do it, you can too...... There really is life after drinking....

Kmber2010

Whiskey you can make the change but I found support to critical. You have good input here and know that we are here to support you.

If you want this.....it is there for you. Takes work and time but the blessings are endless.

Keep it going.

Reubena

Welcome whiskeyman,

Glad you are posting. Drinking and trying to "control" my drinking was sucking the life out of me. I learned that sobriety brings freedom and I hope that you get to experience the freedom, too.

pattenat

Hey WhiskeyMan, in fact you will find encouraging support on this forum however, the biggest point I can make is you need to take your sobriety seriously and really want to quit drinking in order for any support group, AA meeting, counseling, etc. can help.

I'm a newbie to sobriety and I have to tell you having my 30 days in (32) I am seeing things (life) with more clarity than ever before. Some good some bad but with clarity!

The remorse for the things I have done has not subsided entirely but, the remorse for "getting plastered again" is gone! Because I'm not drinking. This has helped me to hold on to my sobriety and make the decisions to move forward. Support or no support this is what I need for me.

If you're not feeling like you want to quit for YOU, YOUR health, YOUR sanity, then I'm most certain relapse will fall into place.

You need to make a decision, stick to your guns and move forward. The best of luck to you. I'll keep your recovery and your family in my prayers.

BoozeFree

Welcome!

whiskeyman

wow, look at this. my very first post.

i am two years sober next week.

I have never left like this before.