Day 5 ...again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Day 5 ...again
I was doing so good. I worked through my cravings, exercised, became active etc....Last weekend my husband came home. We had a nice Valentines dinner and welp...I drank some wine. Probably about 8 glasses. It hit me so hard to. After a month without touching the stuff it hurt. So here I am back to it. I havent drank since Saturday and just like before...dont want to. 
Ugh. It just sucks but glad to see you back!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: MA
Posts: 21
HI,
I can fully relate...Valentines Day did me in, too..I drank 2 bottles of wine..I had been doing so good and then that little voice in my head started on me..The cravings started....I told myself, I could have a glass or 2 of wine and the next thing I know, I have no control and I drank 2 bottles.
I was feeling pretty good about myself and thought I could control my drinking...I wasn't checking in at SR, becasue I thought I was doing fine....well, obviously not- so as of 2/14, I am on SR several times throughout the day...It really helps me to see I am not alone and also to get all the support...
AS I was told, don't beat yourself up, just get up and start again...There is so much support here..
I am on Day 3 today..
I can fully relate...Valentines Day did me in, too..I drank 2 bottles of wine..I had been doing so good and then that little voice in my head started on me..The cravings started....I told myself, I could have a glass or 2 of wine and the next thing I know, I have no control and I drank 2 bottles.
I was feeling pretty good about myself and thought I could control my drinking...I wasn't checking in at SR, becasue I thought I was doing fine....well, obviously not- so as of 2/14, I am on SR several times throughout the day...It really helps me to see I am not alone and also to get all the support...
AS I was told, don't beat yourself up, just get up and start again...There is so much support here..
I am on Day 3 today..
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Up, Up and Away
Posts: 434
Unfortunately, relapses are too often a part of early recovery. Try to learn something from your slip and get on with your recovery.
I don't remember if you are using any help sources other than SR, but if not, why not get some additional help. It couldn't hurt. Just a suggestion.
I don't remember if you are using any help sources other than SR, but if not, why not get some additional help. It couldn't hurt. Just a suggestion.
Snarf Snarf
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: ATL
Posts: 835
8 glasses = 2 bottles = A lot for 1 person. That is exactly why I won't allow myself to give in to those "You can just have 1 or 2" thoughts.
People often ask me if I think one day I'll be able to have a beer or 2 and be cool with it. I reply that there's no way that could ever occur. That's not how I roll. What good is 1 or 2 drinks? I know when I drink, I get drunk. That's the goal, and even if it's not the goal, it's sure as heck the outcome.
So, no, I won't allow myself to have 1 drink, because for me, there's no such thing as 1 drink. That's not how I'm wired. Even when I have cravings, I figure it's much easier to deal with the craving for the first drink, than to have that first drink and then try to control myself from having 10 more. That's just some madness I don't ever want to live through again.
People often ask me if I think one day I'll be able to have a beer or 2 and be cool with it. I reply that there's no way that could ever occur. That's not how I roll. What good is 1 or 2 drinks? I know when I drink, I get drunk. That's the goal, and even if it's not the goal, it's sure as heck the outcome.
So, no, I won't allow myself to have 1 drink, because for me, there's no such thing as 1 drink. That's not how I'm wired. Even when I have cravings, I figure it's much easier to deal with the craving for the first drink, than to have that first drink and then try to control myself from having 10 more. That's just some madness I don't ever want to live through again.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by Snarf 
What good is 1 or 2 drinks? I know when I drink, I get drunk. That's the goal, and even if it's not the goal, it's sure as heck the outcome.
0 is better than 2 and now I don't miss it at all. (6 mos in).
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 34
They always told us in treatment to "think through the drink". For me alcohol wasn't my drug of choice but the concept still applies. The idea is that when you have a really strong craving to use you play through a tape in your head of what will happen when you do drink or use. Yeah it may feel good for a little while, but than what? Some people even make up extravagant stories that might not be the most likely thing that would happen but if the consequences are extreme enough it keeps people from drinking/using. The last time I used was during the superbowl... found some painkillers by accident at my friends house in a cabinet that I thought there were cups in and I couldn't resist. Meetings are key, without them I wouldn't be able to put 24 hours together. Remember the pain, remember how much it sucks. The problem is the first time I relapsed I didn't enjoy it at all. I felt guilty the whole time. The second time I only felt guilty because I took the pills from a friends (which ive done more times than I want to admit) keep working at it and keep being honest.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: The Sooner State
Posts: 1,725
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcome back OklaBH
Those thoughts are insidious...whats your plan for next time they happen?
D
Those thoughts are insidious...whats your plan for next time they happen?
D
My thoughts are to just not take the first drink. One drink easily turns into a 12 pack for me. I get one taste and its over. UGG This is day 6 though. 2 months ago I wouldve gotten drunk and started drinking again the next morning. Ive come along way from how I used to be. Im trying to find solace in that---DAY 6
I would check in on here more but this website is super slow on my computer for some reason. Facebook, *****, etc...is all fine. I dont know
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
So many times I thought 'no I'll just do what I did last time but try harder'...
but no matter how hard I tried - and I did try hard - my 'little bag of tricks' stayed the same, and frankly it was pretty bare...when the cravings hit, sooner or later I was a goner
It was important for me to keep adding to what I knew, and to make plans to prepare for the next craving, because....it came.
It wasn't until I looked beyond what I'd been doing, and found more support, and looked at more strategies and methods that I really began to get somewhere B.
D
but no matter how hard I tried - and I did try hard - my 'little bag of tricks' stayed the same, and frankly it was pretty bare...when the cravings hit, sooner or later I was a goner
It was important for me to keep adding to what I knew, and to make plans to prepare for the next craving, because....it came.
It wasn't until I looked beyond what I'd been doing, and found more support, and looked at more strategies and methods that I really began to get somewhere B.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 12
One of my strategies for when those bad cravings hit was to go for a walk and get some fresh air. If I got home from work and stayed in the house when the cravings hit I would be just sat on my hands thinking about nothing but that first drink and more often than not I would give in.
Of course when I went out for a walk I would leave all cash at home or else my sneaky brain would lure me into a shop to buy a bottle of poison .
Of course when I went out for a walk I would leave all cash at home or else my sneaky brain would lure me into a shop to buy a bottle of poison .
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by OklaBH
I need some better strategies....I have really been struggling. I thought the further i got out the easier it would be...not so much!
I did all that this time vs the last times when I was basically punishing myself for my addiction. Just sitting there obsessing about all I was losing.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Recovery's not a linear thing - you'll get all these bumps, and pitfalls, and sharp turns....and it's tough for a quite a long time.
It's probably what noone wnats to hear but it may be the hardest thing most of us will ever do.
Thats the bad news.
The good news is it's possible - and noone needs to do this on their own
There is support available - in all manner of ways and at all manner of levels.
Maybe it's time to ramp up whatever you've been doing OklaBH?
For some it's as simple as reading and posting here more...I get value out of being here daily...but if SR is not enough for you, then maybe it's time to think about other support - recovery groups, counselling, outpatient or inpatient rehab etc....
D
It's probably what noone wnats to hear but it may be the hardest thing most of us will ever do.
Thats the bad news.
The good news is it's possible - and noone needs to do this on their own
There is support available - in all manner of ways and at all manner of levels.
Maybe it's time to ramp up whatever you've been doing OklaBH?
For some it's as simple as reading and posting here more...I get value out of being here daily...but if SR is not enough for you, then maybe it's time to think about other support - recovery groups, counselling, outpatient or inpatient rehab etc....
D
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