FrothyJay

Working with others, carrying the message.

Corri

I think a lot of people experience 'a longing in their heart' and just have no clue what that is. You may have been a solid recreational drinker that enjoyed trying new beers, new wines, how that coupled with meals, whatever, etc., and then at some point, you knew you had crossed a line. ???

I see two things here. You are in search of a new 'hobby.' (I know for certain I miss my 'hobby' of exploring new restaurants and trying different wines with certain meals... at one point, the entire thing was an experience in and of itself, not a reason to 'escape.')

I can still travel to new places and try new restaurants, but in all honesty, it's just different now. Sooooo.... I travel to new places for different reasons now. Same wander lust, but I experience it all in a whole new and different way.

Second, when I hear someone say, 'fill a void,' it can often mean that a person is unclear or seeking their 'purpose in life.' Does that fit into the mix for you?

Missybuns

Love, empathy, and freedom.

Danae

I'm thinking you live somewhere warm--lucky you! My backyard in under several feet of snow, and its too cold to stay out and look at the stars

But yes, I agree, quiet time alone is lovely---when you are alone by choice.

Supercrew

I have found that the more content I have become with not drinking/sobriety, there aren't really any voids to fill. When my mindset changed from "I can't ever drink again" to "I don't want to ever drink again", is when I kind of realized alcohol wasn't really feeding any need I had or filling any void.

Once I was able to realize that drinking was really the cause of most of the voids I had in my life the idea of sobriety became much easier to swallow, so to speak.

artsoul

Lots of good posts here!

When I got sober the first couple weeks were about getting through the next 24 hours without picking up a drink. After that, it was about taking baby steps. As each day went by I discovered I was much more "present" in my life. I wasn't running from people or putting off responsibilities or wrapped up in my own head....

In other words I began little by little to enter the world again and things just developed. I didn't do anything drastic, I was just ready when things "showed up."

gravity

I was where you are at about a year. It took me a while to accept that I could never drink again in my life so it was a long period of feeling sorry for myself. kind of like "I know I can't drink but I can't imagine my life without it."

Through AA & counselling, my thinking gradually changed. By embracing my sobriety, a whole new outlook on life opened up. I appreciate everything so much & my experiences sober are way more intense than when they used to be dulled by alcohol.

My career has taken off, I live for my kids (joint custody of two little ones ). I'm into fitness, my life is filled with genuinely good people, and when I get a chance, I do social stuff like concerts, sporting events, movies, etc. I'm heading out to a blues bar with some friends in a few minutes!

There is no void. I even appreciate those rare times when I have nothing to do!

best wishes!

Kmber2010

I chuckle a bit these days since I am home by myself lately and I don't view it as having a void....lol. I can't believe I would ever get to the point where I could have a lazy quiet day and not think of drinking......shocking concept

For me.....I didn't really have voids since alcohol in truth just robbed me of living. I have shared quite a bit about how I used alcohol to escape to deal with a tough time in my life and then it just became my life - consumed me.

When I first got sober it was all about learning to live again. I had honestly forgotten how to do that since like many....my life had become planned around drinking. I had all my sober tasks that I rushed through and then all my free time alone was spent boozing.

The post from Smacked summed it up for me.

Give yourself time and I found getting face to face support really helped me make the necessary change and learn how to live healthy again

Lipitor

My void, and thank you for this thread, my void is lonliness, guilt and always wanting life to be a bit of a party , fun, to be disinhibited.

How do I replace lonliness when I live alone? , How do I get rid of guilt? , How do I sit with the mundane boredom of life?? I spent my entire young life raising three daughters and 11 years of university study, building a home,and trying to impress others.

Even If i do stop drinking, what is left? A divorced man with little ambition?

I just cant see much beyond the drink at the moment.

Sorry guys, It is just what I REALLY think

L

Dee74

I had a lot of those fears - how will I handle lonliness, pain or sorrow sober? how will I celebrate things? how will I de stress? will I be the same person? how do I enjoy life and not be bored?

It all really terrified me...but eventually I had no choice but get sober...

and I managed to deal with all of those as they came up...I'm more comfortable in my own skin now - I like my own company when I get the chance...

I've had to deal with the whole gamut of emotions and situations sober....and each time it got easier...

I'm not the same person but I think I'm better - I'm certainly happy for the first time in my adult life....and I simply don't have time to be bored....I wish we had 30 hour days.

Life is what you make it L.
Being sober makes that process easier I think, not harder

D