Rickie

Yeah I plan to start again. I haven't spoke to my drinking buddies for a week now. Which is a start because I'd usually speak to them daily.

I mean I spout such ******** (and mean every word at the time) then go drink. It's embarassing.
I met up with an old school friend who I hadn't seen for years. He said, "what're you having?". My first automatic response was [name of beer].

I actually think I need to move to a new city and start again. Anyway I thought I'd let you all know what a pathetic, weak-willed person I am (LOL but true).

NEOMARXIST

Fair play to you mate, I know that I only stopped drinking when I was ready to stop drinking, No sooner. I had to smash myself down until there was nothing left inside of me and I was just beaten by booze. I knew also that if I drank then my life would never change and I would never again experience true happiness, love and peace of mind. These things are priceless to me now and I wouldn't trade them for a chemical.

I know for me then there was never any control whatsoever and also I would drink as soon as I woke up after drinking and was totally powerless over this. I was sick of living as an active alcoholic and I wanted my life to change. I knew that if i continued to drink then I would end up homeless and drinking 24/7 and dead within a year or two probably, OD or suicide. I knew I was a hopeless alkie, hellbent on destroying myself once i took a drink.

I'm so grateful to be out of that crap now, also once i let booze back in then I would just be looking to get smashed again at every oppurtunity. It's an easy quick-fix solution and for me brought nothing but pain, suffering to me and loved-ones, sadness and made me totally hopeless.

All The Best man, Peace.

BadLove

Hi Rickie,

I don't think you're pathetic or weak-willed. Day 4 might have been the toughest for me so far, but the longer I make it past day 1 the better I feel and the easier it is to resist the cravings.

It's awesome you're thinking of immediate changes in your life that will make it easier to stay sober. I'm doing the same thing. (I keep reading from people here that they had to alter their lifestyles profoundly in order to make sobriety "stick.") One warning about moving, though: I moved to a new city and state about 18 months ago and thought living in a new place would give me a fresh start. For a little while I was able to cut down on my drinking, but because the only changes I had made were superficial (location, job, roommates), before long my drinking problem was worse than ever.

Don't give up! I'm on day 13 and I feel less and less pathetic by the day lol. When I gave in and drank, all I felt was trapped. Now, every time I wait out a craving until it passes, it feels like I'm reinforcing the image of myself a strong person who has choices. You can do it!

Dee74

You're not pathetic or weak willed Rickie - you have a problem but you're working on it.

The more tools you have to deal with situations without resorting to alcohol the better, I think - I hope you'll look at what happened and think about what you could add to what you've been doing so far

welcome back
D