A change is gonna come
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Vermont at heart
Posts: 47
A change is gonna come
Hi everyone!
I'm on day 10 of sobriety, which is my second-longest amount of sober time since I turned 21. I just turned 25. The more I read here, the more I realize (and strangely feel comforted) that I am not unique: I've spent the last 4 years in a cycle of solitary binge drinking, secrecy to hide and protect my drinking, and off-and-on failed attempts at moderation. I accept that I'm an alcoholic, I am sick, and (the hardest part for me to really "get") that drinking is not an option for me anymore. My bottom line is that 1) I am undeniably getting worse, and 2) it hurts too much to continue living the way I have been.
It hasn't been easy so far, but I'm so grateful for that rare glimmer of self-awareness that helped me make it through the first few days. Reading through these forums (okay, lurking) has been helping me so much to research methods for recovery AND to focus on gratitude instead of self-pity. I debated posting or not, and finally I decided it's the alcoholic voice that wants me to keep my secrets secret, and being honest here is a big step forward for me.
Sorry to ramble on, but it feels surprisingly good to get this stuff out! Thanks to everyone here for sharing their experiences, because there's no way I could've made it this far on my own.
I'm on day 10 of sobriety, which is my second-longest amount of sober time since I turned 21. I just turned 25. The more I read here, the more I realize (and strangely feel comforted) that I am not unique: I've spent the last 4 years in a cycle of solitary binge drinking, secrecy to hide and protect my drinking, and off-and-on failed attempts at moderation. I accept that I'm an alcoholic, I am sick, and (the hardest part for me to really "get") that drinking is not an option for me anymore. My bottom line is that 1) I am undeniably getting worse, and 2) it hurts too much to continue living the way I have been.
It hasn't been easy so far, but I'm so grateful for that rare glimmer of self-awareness that helped me make it through the first few days. Reading through these forums (okay, lurking) has been helping me so much to research methods for recovery AND to focus on gratitude instead of self-pity. I debated posting or not, and finally I decided it's the alcoholic voice that wants me to keep my secrets secret, and being honest here is a big step forward for me.
Sorry to ramble on, but it feels surprisingly good to get this stuff out! Thanks to everyone here for sharing their experiences, because there's no way I could've made it this far on my own.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by BadLove 
I debated posting or not, and finally I decided it's the alcoholic voice that wants me to keep my secrets secret, and being honest here is a big step forward for me...
...Sorry to ramble on, but it feels surprisingly good to get this stuff out!
...Sorry to ramble on, but it feels surprisingly good to get this stuff out!
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hey there. Thanks for posting and I think you've got a really good insight into your situation. Accepting myself as an alcoholic was/is absolutely fundamental to my daily, contented sobriety and recovery. For me it's the first drink that does all of the damage and so if I stay away from that 'just for today' then I have hope. If I take a drink then I erase all hope from my life. I was sick and tired of feeling hopeless.
I too am 25 and I got sober at 23 and recently celebrated 19 months sobriety and recovery. It's a daily work in progress for me but it is so worth it. I have been able to rebuild my life and to get my mental health and wellbeing back again, which is truly priceless. I'm not ashamed of myself anymore and that too is a great feeling.
It truly is possible to stay sober and live a more rewarding, fulfilling and successful life in sobriety and recovery compared to active alcoholism. I too was a binge drinker and used to lock myself away and drink myself into oblivion.
Thanks again for sharing, Peace.
I too am 25 and I got sober at 23 and recently celebrated 19 months sobriety and recovery. It's a daily work in progress for me but it is so worth it. I have been able to rebuild my life and to get my mental health and wellbeing back again, which is truly priceless. I'm not ashamed of myself anymore and that too is a great feeling.
It truly is possible to stay sober and live a more rewarding, fulfilling and successful life in sobriety and recovery compared to active alcoholism. I too was a binge drinker and used to lock myself away and drink myself into oblivion.
Thanks again for sharing, Peace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Vermont at heart
Posts: 47
Thanks, everyone, for the warm welcome. I've been using alcohol to avoid confronting some major problems in my life (which unsurprisingly keep getting more major), so one of the biggest challenges for me right now is being able to face them and start damage control. Scary, but I have to keep reminding myself they'll only get worse if I keep drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
congrats on you double digits and clear thinking at age 25...
when I found SR last year, I had only gone 9 days sober for the entire year of 2009 (it was forced due to illness not voluntary)...in 2010 I never dreamed I could improve so much...and I hope that 2011 is even more successful.
when you mind is clear, your problems are much easier to deal with...sobriety didn't make mine go away, but I deal with thing rationally and am much calmer.
when I found SR last year, I had only gone 9 days sober for the entire year of 2009 (it was forced due to illness not voluntary)...in 2010 I never dreamed I could improve so much...and I hope that 2011 is even more successful.
when you mind is clear, your problems are much easier to deal with...sobriety didn't make mine go away, but I deal with thing rationally and am much calmer.
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